Single, married, childless, child-filled... your season will come

"The Lord will work out his plans for my life

for your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever."

- Psalm 138:8

 

It’s okay to be single. It really is. It’s okay to be on your own. To be an independent person. It doesn’t mean you’re less desirable, less valuable. It doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you, either. But it can certainly feel like that sometimes, can’t it? It can be a difficult road to walk. A road filled with questions, filled with mystery and wondering. But it’s okay to be where God wants you to be, and sometimes that means on your own.

 

I remember walking through singleness, a time that was filled with insecurity, and people asked questions. Of course, they didn’t know my past, all they knew was that I was a young, single woman. I had many people ask me if I was dating someone, I had people attempt to set me up with their friend/brother/son/co-worker, and it seemed to bother them that I wasn’t in a relationship. I’ll never forget about a co-worker of mine who was particularly bothered by my singleness. She kept asking if I was dating someone, and she wasn’t satisfied with a simple no. She wanted to know why, as if I had complete control over my circumstances. Her curiosity got the best of her, and she asked a dear friend of mine if I wasn’t “interested in men.” I was a bit shocked and appalled that she felt that must have been the only reason I wasn’t dating. My friend assured her that I was interested in men, but I just wasn’t concerned about being in a relationship at that time. I don’t know if that gave her the answer she was looking for, but at least it eliminated one of her ideas.

 

I’ve learned that it is best to be where the Lord wants you rather than being where you want to be. If God has called you to a certain season, it’s not in vain. He desires for you to be there at that particular time. Usually, it’s because He wants to refine you through the season. He wants to work on you, work in you, and He wants to use you. If we believe that God has a perfect plan for our lives, that means all stages of our lives. Our single stages, our married stages, our childless stages, and our child-filled stages. But we have a hard time waiting on the Lord. At least, I do. And it certainly doesn’t help when others make you believe differently.

 

But I look back on my season of singleness and I see how God used me in ways that aren’t as much of a possibility now. And I look at my marriage and childlessness and I see how God is using us in ways that weren’t an option in the previous season, ways that won’t be as much of a possibility in the next. And I think about the child-filled stage and how God will use me in a way that He hasn't been able to before I enter into that season. And so each one is significant. No particular one is better than the other. And each one serves a purpose.

 

And so it really is okay. It’s okay to be single. It’s okay to be married.  It’s okay to be child-less, and it’s okay to have children. As long as you’re doing what God has called you to, as long as you’re where He wants you to be, you’re good. You’re doing the right thing that the right time, the God appointed time. There is a season and a time for everything. Your season will come.