Dear Annabeth...
Well. my sweet Annabeth, I can now count the number of days until your birthday on one hand. I can hardly believe it. In fact, I don't think reality will quite set in until we meet face to face on Friday. Your original due date is October 28, but the doctor is taking you a few weeks early, and honestly, I'm kind of glad. I am getting to this really uncomfortable point, so I can't even imagine how I'd feel if we had to wait until the end of the month. Plus, I am getting more and more anxious to meet you. With every baby I see, I think about you and as much as I have enjoyed carrying you around in my stomach for the last 36 weeks, I am really looking forward to holding you in my arms.
People keep asking me how I feel. Am I ready? And that's a hard question for me to answer right now because I honestly don't know how I feel. It's this strange mixture of fear, anticipation, anxiety, and excitement, and I'm not sure which one I am feeling the most. I jokingly tell them that I think I am "physically" ready, but I'm not quite mentally ready. You'll understand what I mean one day when you're expecting your first child. If you're anything like me, it will be something you dream about for years and years, and when the day finally arrives, it's a bit of a shock. How did this get here so fast yet feel like it was a long time coming? Well, regardless, I've been meaning to sit down and write you a letter. I have a one page spot in your baby book, and I just know that's not enough room. And, as you will soon learn, life passes quickly so I didn't want to miss this opportunity to share some of the prayers that I have for you before you arrive. Of course, we'll talk about these things along the way, but I wanted to write it down so that I can always look back and make sure that I, as your mother, am doing all that God has called me to do in order to help you become who God is calling you to be.
My biggest prayer is that you commit your life to following Jesus at an early age. As I was singing in church this morning, I was reminded that you can hear everything. I thought about how you listen to me sing, and that when I teach Bible study or pray, you hear what I say, and I hope that you're already hiding God's word in your heart. We have so many great little Bible stories to read together, as well as a lot of fun songs I want to teach you, and my prayer is that your heart will be so tender to the Holy Spirit that you will accept Jesus Christ as your Savior as a child. Jesus talks about having childlike faith, and your dad and I want to be sure you really understand what that means. We don't want you to make the decision to follow Him because you feel like you have to or because you feel pressured. But we hope to help you learn and understand how much He loves you and that because of His great love for you, and because of what He's done for you, you'll be eager to give Him all of your heart.
I also pray that you'll have a servant's heart. That you'll look for opportunities to give of yourself and to help others. I hope that we can model that for you, and honestly, knowing that you'll be watching us challenges me to set an example. I pray that you'll always be kind to other people and show them respect even if they don't return the feelings. Because here's the thing I've learned, you can't please everyone and not everyone is going to like you. Not everyone is going to agree with you, either. But that's okay. As long as you cling to God's truth and follow His commands, you can pray for others and ask God to help you see them through His eyes. Just as you are fearfully and wonderfully made, so are they, but maybe they've never heard that before and you may need to be the one to tell them.
I pray that you will have a faith that is unshakable and determined. Hard things will come your way. You will face failure in some form or fashion. Your heart will likely be broken at some point or another. Someone will let you down. You will face difficult challenges. You may actually walk through some of your biggest nightmares, and some of your greatest dreams may not be achieved. But I pray that God will give you a faith that endures. That you will always remember that we are more than conquerors in Christ and that no matter what you face, you never face it alone. You have God on your side, and so you can get through it - whatever it is - and you will come out on the other side better for it because God will use those moments to teach you great things. Don't give up on Him - ever.
And I pray that regardless of what comes your way in life, you will always choose to honor God. With your words, with your actions, with your body, and with your mind, that you would always give Him the glory and the praise. I don't know what He has in store for you, but I know He has a plan for your life and no matter what that looks like, I pray that you would always give Him the credit and follow His lead. After all, you wouldn't be here if it weren't for Him. Sometimes we humans think we can really do a lot on our own, but it's God who enables us and allows us. We don't control our breaths or our heartbeats, He does, and so without Him, we are nothing. Were it not for His kindness and generosity, we would have nothing. Everything we are is because of God. Always remember that.
And remember that we love you. We've covered this before, but I just want to reiterate it again. Your dad and I are so grateful for you. We know that God could have allowed anyone to be your parents, and so we are overwhelmed at the fact that He chose us to be the lucky ones. We know you will teach us many things, and we hope that we can do the same for you in return. We won't always have all the answers, and although we've learned a lot, we're still learning. But we will always have your best interest at heart. That may mean that we say no. It probably means that you won't always get your way and that we have to be "uncool" and "mean" every now and then. But know that our goal is to love you, protect you, and care for you. Our goal is raise you in a way that honors God because He is holding us accountable for that. He is trusting us to do a good job with you, and so we're going to give it our all... even though we have no idea what we're doing. But we're going to try, try, and try some more and pray that He'll guide us every step of the way. And we hope that one day, when you look back on your life, you see that. We won't be perfect parents, but we serve a perfect God, and so just as we've committed our lives to Him, we're committing our family to Him, too, and we will continue to trust in the Lord with all our hearts and lean not on our own understandings. In all of our ways, we will acknowledge Him because we know that He will make our paths straight.
People keep asking me how I feel. Am I ready? And that's a hard question for me to answer right now because I honestly don't know how I feel. It's this strange mixture of fear, anticipation, anxiety, and excitement, and I'm not sure which one I am feeling the most. I jokingly tell them that I think I am "physically" ready, but I'm not quite mentally ready. You'll understand what I mean one day when you're expecting your first child. If you're anything like me, it will be something you dream about for years and years, and when the day finally arrives, it's a bit of a shock. How did this get here so fast yet feel like it was a long time coming? Well, regardless, I've been meaning to sit down and write you a letter. I have a one page spot in your baby book, and I just know that's not enough room. And, as you will soon learn, life passes quickly so I didn't want to miss this opportunity to share some of the prayers that I have for you before you arrive. Of course, we'll talk about these things along the way, but I wanted to write it down so that I can always look back and make sure that I, as your mother, am doing all that God has called me to do in order to help you become who God is calling you to be.
My biggest prayer is that you commit your life to following Jesus at an early age. As I was singing in church this morning, I was reminded that you can hear everything. I thought about how you listen to me sing, and that when I teach Bible study or pray, you hear what I say, and I hope that you're already hiding God's word in your heart. We have so many great little Bible stories to read together, as well as a lot of fun songs I want to teach you, and my prayer is that your heart will be so tender to the Holy Spirit that you will accept Jesus Christ as your Savior as a child. Jesus talks about having childlike faith, and your dad and I want to be sure you really understand what that means. We don't want you to make the decision to follow Him because you feel like you have to or because you feel pressured. But we hope to help you learn and understand how much He loves you and that because of His great love for you, and because of what He's done for you, you'll be eager to give Him all of your heart.
I also pray that you'll have a servant's heart. That you'll look for opportunities to give of yourself and to help others. I hope that we can model that for you, and honestly, knowing that you'll be watching us challenges me to set an example. I pray that you'll always be kind to other people and show them respect even if they don't return the feelings. Because here's the thing I've learned, you can't please everyone and not everyone is going to like you. Not everyone is going to agree with you, either. But that's okay. As long as you cling to God's truth and follow His commands, you can pray for others and ask God to help you see them through His eyes. Just as you are fearfully and wonderfully made, so are they, but maybe they've never heard that before and you may need to be the one to tell them.
I pray that you will have a faith that is unshakable and determined. Hard things will come your way. You will face failure in some form or fashion. Your heart will likely be broken at some point or another. Someone will let you down. You will face difficult challenges. You may actually walk through some of your biggest nightmares, and some of your greatest dreams may not be achieved. But I pray that God will give you a faith that endures. That you will always remember that we are more than conquerors in Christ and that no matter what you face, you never face it alone. You have God on your side, and so you can get through it - whatever it is - and you will come out on the other side better for it because God will use those moments to teach you great things. Don't give up on Him - ever.
And I pray that regardless of what comes your way in life, you will always choose to honor God. With your words, with your actions, with your body, and with your mind, that you would always give Him the glory and the praise. I don't know what He has in store for you, but I know He has a plan for your life and no matter what that looks like, I pray that you would always give Him the credit and follow His lead. After all, you wouldn't be here if it weren't for Him. Sometimes we humans think we can really do a lot on our own, but it's God who enables us and allows us. We don't control our breaths or our heartbeats, He does, and so without Him, we are nothing. Were it not for His kindness and generosity, we would have nothing. Everything we are is because of God. Always remember that.
And remember that we love you. We've covered this before, but I just want to reiterate it again. Your dad and I are so grateful for you. We know that God could have allowed anyone to be your parents, and so we are overwhelmed at the fact that He chose us to be the lucky ones. We know you will teach us many things, and we hope that we can do the same for you in return. We won't always have all the answers, and although we've learned a lot, we're still learning. But we will always have your best interest at heart. That may mean that we say no. It probably means that you won't always get your way and that we have to be "uncool" and "mean" every now and then. But know that our goal is to love you, protect you, and care for you. Our goal is raise you in a way that honors God because He is holding us accountable for that. He is trusting us to do a good job with you, and so we're going to give it our all... even though we have no idea what we're doing. But we're going to try, try, and try some more and pray that He'll guide us every step of the way. And we hope that one day, when you look back on your life, you see that. We won't be perfect parents, but we serve a perfect God, and so just as we've committed our lives to Him, we're committing our family to Him, too, and we will continue to trust in the Lord with all our hearts and lean not on our own understandings. In all of our ways, we will acknowledge Him because we know that He will make our paths straight.
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