may it be more...
It never ceases to amaze me at the speed of which each year passes. It's like we just begin the year and the next thing you know it's Christmas. 2017 has been no different from any other year in that regard. But 2017 has certainly been different than any other year we've yet to experience, and that's not a bad thing.
We started the year out with a tiny baby. A little bitty human being who was only capable of crying and eating and had just recently figured out how to smile. We spent our evenings doing things like "tummy" time and waking up a few times during the night to feed her. The days were far from fun or glamorous and they were long. Really, really long. I've discovered that having a baby in the fall is beneficial later in life but makes for a tough first few months. It's sick season, and it's cold outside, so you can't leave the house often thus infecting one with an intense bout of cabin fever. I was more than relieved to start a bible study at the end of January and a moms' group in February. A very, very, very small sense of normalcy was returning to my life, but with it came a lot of concerns about what the upcoming year held. Little did I know, it would be a year of more changes than I was anticipating.
I had quit my job mid-December and decided to stay home with my little darling. It was, absolutely, the best decision for our family and I don't regret it a bit. I did, however, (and often still do) miss the sense of satisfaction, purpose, and fulfillment that comes with work. I missed dressing up and having a project list of things to do. I missed my co-workers. I missed having adult conversation all day. I missed sitting at my computer and drinking coffee each morning while checking emails and deciding what I would work on for the day. And I really missed having a paycheck. Admittedly, I felt lost. I felt insignificant. Here I was, doing, in my opinion, one of the most tasking, exhausting, and difficult jobs on the face of the earth and I felt like I no longer mattered. Like I wasn't contributing to society. I felt guilty, I felt lazy, and I felt unimportant. But things began to change once I settled into my new role, and I hoped that I had made the right decision and was really understanding what I felt God was calling me to.
Being the Davis family CFO, it was a concern to me only having one source of income coming into our bank account each month. Initially, I thought to myself that as long as I could make it at home at least a year then I'd be okay entering back into the work force. It didn't take long for me to change my mind. A year is hardly any time, you know. And so then the question was whether or not I would ever enter back into the work force. When? What would I do? Where would I work? But I decided not to entertain those thoughts and just wait until we came to those bridges to cross them. Around March, Aaron and I started toying with the idea of moving. Why? I'm really not sure. We put our house on the market and prayed that if it would be a good decision to move, God would open the door. If it wouldn't be in the best interest for our family to move, we prayed that God wouldn't allow our house to sell. As you well know, God worked out the details in a way only He could, and we ended up in our new home. Our new fixer upper. With a baby... and one source of income.
August hit and I began to panic. We were spending money hand over fist, our utilities had gone through the roof, and my car began to have mechanical problems. I got online to look at our bank account, which I rarely did before our renovations began, and I about dropped my teeth. I texted Aaron with a sense of great urgency that it was time to pump the breaks. We could not keep moving at the pace we were going or I would be sending out resumes within a few weeks. My heart was heavy at the thought of doing such. Not because work is the worst and staying home is the life. I'll be honest and say it's quite the opposite. There are days when going into the office sounds like the life to me. Staying home has been quite a humbling experience. It's been far from easy or relaxing. It's been challenging and lonely and there have been many days where the idea of letting someone else keep up with my child for 8 hours while I do "grown-up" work sounds really nice. But the thing about God's will is that when you're in it, you find peace. Even if things are tough and not what you expected them to be, there's peace and so you know you're right where He wants you. I began praying, as I've done so many times before, that God would remind me that He has called us to this season and would not abandon us or fail to provide for us. He would keep His promises, we just needed to continue you to seek, honor, and trust Him. And we needed to be mindful and wise with what He had and was entrusting to us so that we could enjoy this season of life because nothing lasts forever.
Four months later and we're ending the year with a little girl who is walking and talking (in her own language) and sleeping through the night. She's well into the stage of toddler hood, and we are having so much fun! My car is hanging in there with no other issues (hallelujah!). We have renovated 3 (almost) rooms in our house, and it is looking more and more like our home with each passing month. We've been challenged and stretched, and so has our faith. We've had to relearn a few lessons as we've gone through these changes, but God has been faithful to help us through each one. Just as our home as changed, so have our hearts. He has been breaking us of pride and impatience, of egos and doubt. He has been teaching us that we only have anything because He is gracious and generous to give. We are learning that things take time and that's okay. That eventually, we'll get there, and we'd rather arrive happy and joyful than irritable and exhausted. And we're believing that 2018 won't be the same. That God has so many more things in store for this next year that, hopefully, will grow us more and more into His likeness.
Our pastor preached a wonderfully convicting sermon this morning about goals. He posed the question, "What is your 2018 goal?" To live in a way that brings glory and honor to Christ. That is our goal. That whatever should happen in 2018, we live in a way that brings glory and honor to Christ. And so here is to a new year filled with anticipation of new things. May our 2018 be nothing like our 2017. May it be more.
We started the year out with a tiny baby. A little bitty human being who was only capable of crying and eating and had just recently figured out how to smile. We spent our evenings doing things like "tummy" time and waking up a few times during the night to feed her. The days were far from fun or glamorous and they were long. Really, really long. I've discovered that having a baby in the fall is beneficial later in life but makes for a tough first few months. It's sick season, and it's cold outside, so you can't leave the house often thus infecting one with an intense bout of cabin fever. I was more than relieved to start a bible study at the end of January and a moms' group in February. A very, very, very small sense of normalcy was returning to my life, but with it came a lot of concerns about what the upcoming year held. Little did I know, it would be a year of more changes than I was anticipating.
I had quit my job mid-December and decided to stay home with my little darling. It was, absolutely, the best decision for our family and I don't regret it a bit. I did, however, (and often still do) miss the sense of satisfaction, purpose, and fulfillment that comes with work. I missed dressing up and having a project list of things to do. I missed my co-workers. I missed having adult conversation all day. I missed sitting at my computer and drinking coffee each morning while checking emails and deciding what I would work on for the day. And I really missed having a paycheck. Admittedly, I felt lost. I felt insignificant. Here I was, doing, in my opinion, one of the most tasking, exhausting, and difficult jobs on the face of the earth and I felt like I no longer mattered. Like I wasn't contributing to society. I felt guilty, I felt lazy, and I felt unimportant. But things began to change once I settled into my new role, and I hoped that I had made the right decision and was really understanding what I felt God was calling me to.
Being the Davis family CFO, it was a concern to me only having one source of income coming into our bank account each month. Initially, I thought to myself that as long as I could make it at home at least a year then I'd be okay entering back into the work force. It didn't take long for me to change my mind. A year is hardly any time, you know. And so then the question was whether or not I would ever enter back into the work force. When? What would I do? Where would I work? But I decided not to entertain those thoughts and just wait until we came to those bridges to cross them. Around March, Aaron and I started toying with the idea of moving. Why? I'm really not sure. We put our house on the market and prayed that if it would be a good decision to move, God would open the door. If it wouldn't be in the best interest for our family to move, we prayed that God wouldn't allow our house to sell. As you well know, God worked out the details in a way only He could, and we ended up in our new home. Our new fixer upper. With a baby... and one source of income.
August hit and I began to panic. We were spending money hand over fist, our utilities had gone through the roof, and my car began to have mechanical problems. I got online to look at our bank account, which I rarely did before our renovations began, and I about dropped my teeth. I texted Aaron with a sense of great urgency that it was time to pump the breaks. We could not keep moving at the pace we were going or I would be sending out resumes within a few weeks. My heart was heavy at the thought of doing such. Not because work is the worst and staying home is the life. I'll be honest and say it's quite the opposite. There are days when going into the office sounds like the life to me. Staying home has been quite a humbling experience. It's been far from easy or relaxing. It's been challenging and lonely and there have been many days where the idea of letting someone else keep up with my child for 8 hours while I do "grown-up" work sounds really nice. But the thing about God's will is that when you're in it, you find peace. Even if things are tough and not what you expected them to be, there's peace and so you know you're right where He wants you. I began praying, as I've done so many times before, that God would remind me that He has called us to this season and would not abandon us or fail to provide for us. He would keep His promises, we just needed to continue you to seek, honor, and trust Him. And we needed to be mindful and wise with what He had and was entrusting to us so that we could enjoy this season of life because nothing lasts forever.
Four months later and we're ending the year with a little girl who is walking and talking (in her own language) and sleeping through the night. She's well into the stage of toddler hood, and we are having so much fun! My car is hanging in there with no other issues (hallelujah!). We have renovated 3 (almost) rooms in our house, and it is looking more and more like our home with each passing month. We've been challenged and stretched, and so has our faith. We've had to relearn a few lessons as we've gone through these changes, but God has been faithful to help us through each one. Just as our home as changed, so have our hearts. He has been breaking us of pride and impatience, of egos and doubt. He has been teaching us that we only have anything because He is gracious and generous to give. We are learning that things take time and that's okay. That eventually, we'll get there, and we'd rather arrive happy and joyful than irritable and exhausted. And we're believing that 2018 won't be the same. That God has so many more things in store for this next year that, hopefully, will grow us more and more into His likeness.
Our pastor preached a wonderfully convicting sermon this morning about goals. He posed the question, "What is your 2018 goal?" To live in a way that brings glory and honor to Christ. That is our goal. That whatever should happen in 2018, we live in a way that brings glory and honor to Christ. And so here is to a new year filled with anticipation of new things. May our 2018 be nothing like our 2017. May it be more.
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