mommy help you...

I am so very far behind on my blog, Annabeth. And while there is a part of me that feels guilty for letting a few weeks pass since I last wrote, it's completely self-induced. Things have been a bit crazy around our house and by the end of the day I have zero desire to do anything that requires much energy or thought process. I know that's a poor excuse, but it's the truth. However, yesterday was the 8th, which means we have one more month until your birthday and so it's time for your monthly post. 

You are talking at an amazing and alarming rate. You use full sentences and can pretty much articulate whatever it is you want or need. You also repeat everything I say, and I'm learning that I have a lot of key phrases. A few that you've picked up on are: "Uh oh! What happened?" "It's okay!" "Oh gosh!" "Yes? OK!" "Let's do it!" "Hi _______!". This is just to name a few. You pronounce pretty much every word correctly except for milk and bananas. For some reason you refer to it as "nom-mee." I don't know if its because you think milk is so delicious or if you just prefer saying that rather than milk. Either way, I think it's adorable! You call bananas "menas" and I think the thing you like the most about them is taking off the peel. You have a hard time saying popsicle and popcorn. They sound more like "cah-pi-cle" and "caw-cor." But you know exactly where we keep everything in the house so if we don't quite understand you take our hands and drag us right over to where the item is located. Your attention to detail is incredible. You don't miss a beat and you are very capable. You can climb on anything, but thankfully you haven't figured out that you can climb out of your crib. You also know how to open anything so I've pretty much given up on trying to keep drawers and cabinets organized. I've noticed that you fall into a somewhat OCD category when it comes to how things must be done. For example, when we take family walks at night you insist that I push your stroller and Dad walks Scout. Any other arrangement is completely unacceptable. We must always do things the way we've always done them. You definitely got that trait from me. I'm no fan of change! 

Jealousy has started to peek out through your personality a bit, which I find interesting. For the longest time I didn't think you were that attached to me. But I guess when you spend all day, every day, with someone that changes. You do not like for Scout to sit in my lap. Drives you crazy! You'll throw a fit for her to move, not so you can sit down, but simply to make sure she isn't getting any extra love and attention from me. We've had to work on your relationship with Scout. I know you love her, and you are sweet to her, but I suppose she's your competition for now so you've made sure to let her know she's not in charge. You've also pulled out some aggressive behaviors when it comes to getting your way. Pushing and hitting have popped up on the list, which just breaks my heart, so we're working on that as well. Your dad and I always remind you that we don't hit or push people. I totally understand the feeling of wanting to when someone makes you feel frustrated, but just because we want to doesn't mean we need to. As we drove home from church today I asked if you had a good time in Sunday school. You replied, "Yes! I no hit." So I know you're hearing what we say, I just hope you're doing it. 

I always have a hard time picking the topic I was to share with you because there are so many lessons and thoughts rolling around in my head. I wanted to write about saying no, which you have zero problem doing right now, but I think I'm going to shelve that one for a later date. I'm mentioning it here in an attempt to remember it for the future. I also wanted to write about helping others out when it doesn't benefit you, but I'm going to save that one, too. Instead, I'm going to write about receiving help. I think this is something many women struggle with. You are growing up in a society where women are encouraged to be greatly independent. Don't get me wrong, here. I don't have an issue with being a strong woman. But the truth is, there are moments when we all need help. The hard part is admitting it and asking for it. 

There have been many times during my life when I've felt overwhelmed and needed help. Your father is so great to help out whether or not I ask for help, and he's never made me feel bad about asking for help when I need it. But there's a side of me that wants to seem like I have it together and can manage just fine. I don't, however, have much together nor do I manage everything fine. Some seasons in life I do really well and then some I feel as if I can hardly keep my head above water. And so asking not only requires humility but I find myself not asking for help because I don't want to be an inconvenience. I am trying to raise you to be a thinker and problem solver. For a long time I would do things for you that you could probably do yourself and after a while you started saying, "I do it!" Now I let you work on things until you come ask for help. After a good while you'll usually seek me out and say, "I need help. Mommy help you." And I realize that this is something I need to do better. I need to be willing to ask for help because there's nothing wrong with needing someone to help you. 

Friday night was one of those nights that I needed help. I scheduled a bible study fellowship at our house for Saturday morning and the house was a mess! I also had to prepare food for the event and knew I needed to get it all done before going to bed since I wouldn't have much time in the morning. Your dad asked if it would be helpful for the two of you to leave the house for a while so I could give my undivided attention to the tasks at hand. That might not sound very helpful to you, but it was a great need at the moment. You both headed off to run some errands so I had an hour to somehow accomplish what felt like an overwhelming task. Shortly after you left Grammy stopped by to drop of a coffee pot I asked to borrow. It was obvious I was in great need of help, but there was no way I was going to ask her to spend any of her Friday night helping me clean our mess after she had worked all day. I knew she was just as tired as I was. But she picked up a dishrag and said, "I'd be glad to help you if you'll just tell me what you want me to do. We can get this done before they get back!" Off she went, cleaning like a mad-woman! She cleaned all the bathrooms, mopped and vacuumed the whole house, and shined the floors. She stayed until we were completely finished, having devoted her entire evening to housework, and on the way out hugged me and said, "The house looks amazing! I'm glad I could help. You know I love to clean!" 

Annabeth, there will be moments in your life that you need help. It might be cleaning your house. It might be help with your homework or laundry. You might need help picking out a dress for an event or knowing how to deal with a friend who has said something hurtful to you. You might need help coping with a loss or giving up a bad habit that is causing you harm. You might need help through a sickness or help with a broken heart. It might be help dealing with the consequences of a decision you made or help walking through a really scary, challenging situation for which you feel unprepared. And I want you to know that I am always here to help you. No matter how big or small the request may seem, don't ever be afraid to ask. I would be devastated if I knew you needed help and didn't reach out to me. 

But there is a source of help that we have. A first resort, not a last. A help like no other. Psalm 18:6 says, "In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice. My cry came before him, into his ears." It's so easy to call on other people or run to other things when we need help. We often find ourselves Googling answers or looking for a good self-help book rather than praying and spending time in God's word. We turn to things that bring us instant relief and comfort instead of the One who promises to give us true relief and comfort. We seek and search, feeling even more frustrated and overwhelmed, when all along we've had the very thing we need right at the tip of our tongue. God! Our rock, our shield, and our salvation. And as Psalm 18 tells us, when we call on him, "He parts the heavens and comes down... He reaches down from on high and takes hold of us, drawing us out of deep waters... He rescues us from powerful enemies because he delights in us... He arms us with strength... enables us to stand on the heights... trains our hands for battles... give us his shield of victory and sustains us... and broadens the path beneath us." No one, not even me, can give you this kind of help, Annabeth. And the Lord didn't create any one of us to manage through life on our own. We were created to need him, and he knows that. And the beauty of it all is that God is not only able to help you, but He will! Nothing is too hard for him.  

You're becoming an independent girl. You're growing so quickly, learning so much, and I am so proud of you! But I want you to always remember where our help comes from. From the Lord, the maker of Heaven and Earth.