marriage bed...
"I want to sleep with you, Mommy!" You curled your little body up next to mine as close as possible so that there was no space left between us. A comment you make every night before bed. A little plea to stay in bed with mommy and daddy.
"Daddy snores sooo loud. You wouldn't be able to sleep." I jokingly replied.
"I love Daddy snoring," you said. Your little eyes closed and a smile spread across your lips as he pretended to snore with all his might.
"Okay, you can sleep with mommy and daddy when you're as big as mommy." It's a solution that will likely work itself out because you won't be interested in sleeping with us when those days come. A promise I won't have to break. And if you still want to sleep with us then, well, we'll have a different problem on our hands.
"Go give daddy kisses so I can take you to your bed."
You crawled across the mattress and pounced on him, planting a big kiss on his lips. Your little arms and legs wrapped around me as I carried you to your room and placed you in your new house bed. Your sweet daddy worked many late hours building you a precious little house bed because you're a big girl now and it was time to upgrade from the well worn (and chewed up) crib you've used for the past 3 years. It won't be long until you'll be upgrading again to an actual big girl bed but this little transition bed is fun. After all, there aren't many years a girl can have such a fun sleeping space, and when you've got a handy dad, fun beds are a possibility. We switched on the little twinkle lights, said prayers, read a book, and I kissed you goodnight. This is the way we've done it for three years now, and it won't be changing in the near future because no matter how many times you ask and plead, you won't be sleeping in mommy's and daddy's bed. You'll always be sleeping in yours.
Your dad and I made a decision when you were born that no children would be sleeping in our bed at night. We've held firm to that not because we don't love you but because that is our bed. It's the one place we have that has not been taken over by you or your sister. You sweet girls have invaded every part of our lives but that one is ours alone. The nights, the sleep, the space, it belongs to us. You and your sister are going to grow up and move away from home, but your dad and I are in this together forever. We're not going anywhere. And so our bed is a sacred space. A place where we can find rest and comfort and peace and solitude. A space that we can enjoy and relax and connect. We can stay up late watching movies or talking or sitting together in the silence and enjoy each others company. Because when the sun comes up, our focus is shifted back to our favorite girls so we want to reserve the last few precious hours of the day for one another.
Hebrews 13:4 says, "Marriage should be honored by all and the marriage bed kept pure...". Letting your children sleep in your bed certainly doesn't violate the purity of it, but I believe that the marriage bed should be reserved for the married people. Notice Hebrews doesn't refer to it as the family bed. And sure, this verse is referring to infidelity, but there are many things that can be brought into the marriage bed that interfere with the marriage. It's so easy for your children to become the center of your world, and when you have babies one day, you'll understand that. It's easy to let them dictate the days and the nights and to think, "They're so little. One day this will be gone and we'll miss it." But what I don't want to get lost in the years of child rearing is my relationship with your father. I don't want you and your sister to become our focus so much that we end up losing sight of one another. You will grow so quickly, and the years of snuggles will end sooner than I'd like, but I don't ever want to look across the bed at your father, many years down the road, and think, "Gosh, this space feels so empty now. I don't know what to do with all of this extra room. I don't like it this way."
You will be as big as me one day, and you'll have a marriage bed of your own. When you do, keep it that way. You and your husband. It's your bed. Your space. Your room. Honor your marriage. Show your children how to honor your marriage. Because the best gift you can give your children is a healthy marriage made up of two people who genuinely love them and love one another. And if you do so, you'll all sleep well at night...in your own beds.
"Daddy snores sooo loud. You wouldn't be able to sleep." I jokingly replied.
"I love Daddy snoring," you said. Your little eyes closed and a smile spread across your lips as he pretended to snore with all his might.
"Okay, you can sleep with mommy and daddy when you're as big as mommy." It's a solution that will likely work itself out because you won't be interested in sleeping with us when those days come. A promise I won't have to break. And if you still want to sleep with us then, well, we'll have a different problem on our hands.
"Go give daddy kisses so I can take you to your bed."
You crawled across the mattress and pounced on him, planting a big kiss on his lips. Your little arms and legs wrapped around me as I carried you to your room and placed you in your new house bed. Your sweet daddy worked many late hours building you a precious little house bed because you're a big girl now and it was time to upgrade from the well worn (and chewed up) crib you've used for the past 3 years. It won't be long until you'll be upgrading again to an actual big girl bed but this little transition bed is fun. After all, there aren't many years a girl can have such a fun sleeping space, and when you've got a handy dad, fun beds are a possibility. We switched on the little twinkle lights, said prayers, read a book, and I kissed you goodnight. This is the way we've done it for three years now, and it won't be changing in the near future because no matter how many times you ask and plead, you won't be sleeping in mommy's and daddy's bed. You'll always be sleeping in yours.
Your dad and I made a decision when you were born that no children would be sleeping in our bed at night. We've held firm to that not because we don't love you but because that is our bed. It's the one place we have that has not been taken over by you or your sister. You sweet girls have invaded every part of our lives but that one is ours alone. The nights, the sleep, the space, it belongs to us. You and your sister are going to grow up and move away from home, but your dad and I are in this together forever. We're not going anywhere. And so our bed is a sacred space. A place where we can find rest and comfort and peace and solitude. A space that we can enjoy and relax and connect. We can stay up late watching movies or talking or sitting together in the silence and enjoy each others company. Because when the sun comes up, our focus is shifted back to our favorite girls so we want to reserve the last few precious hours of the day for one another.
Hebrews 13:4 says, "Marriage should be honored by all and the marriage bed kept pure...". Letting your children sleep in your bed certainly doesn't violate the purity of it, but I believe that the marriage bed should be reserved for the married people. Notice Hebrews doesn't refer to it as the family bed. And sure, this verse is referring to infidelity, but there are many things that can be brought into the marriage bed that interfere with the marriage. It's so easy for your children to become the center of your world, and when you have babies one day, you'll understand that. It's easy to let them dictate the days and the nights and to think, "They're so little. One day this will be gone and we'll miss it." But what I don't want to get lost in the years of child rearing is my relationship with your father. I don't want you and your sister to become our focus so much that we end up losing sight of one another. You will grow so quickly, and the years of snuggles will end sooner than I'd like, but I don't ever want to look across the bed at your father, many years down the road, and think, "Gosh, this space feels so empty now. I don't know what to do with all of this extra room. I don't like it this way."
You will be as big as me one day, and you'll have a marriage bed of your own. When you do, keep it that way. You and your husband. It's your bed. Your space. Your room. Honor your marriage. Show your children how to honor your marriage. Because the best gift you can give your children is a healthy marriage made up of two people who genuinely love them and love one another. And if you do so, you'll all sleep well at night...in your own beds.
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