because the thing that we so easily allow to define us is the very thing God will use to refine us...
I started a few new projects at work this week. I feel like that maybe my job title should be project manager. I love training people, but I rarely get the opportunity to do so. Yet the beauty of my job is that when I am not getting to train, I am getting to write. To create. To be innovative and stretched. And that's exactly what I need.
One of my new projects concerns Notaries. I am pretty certain I am the only one who is excited about this project. I sat in a 2 hours webinar and I was fascinated by the information I was learning. I scribbled down note after note and dug out my Texas Notary Law book. Two days later, I had read through the whole thing and highlighted the majority of the information. I called an emergency meeting with a few others so I could get this ball rolling, and as I sat in my office creating a list of discussion items, my mind went back to 4 years ago when I needed the help of a Notary.
In case you didn't know, all banks have Notaries. And, if you're wondering what a Notary is supposed to do, their sole job is to be an unbiased third party that serves as a witness. So, if you need a legal document signed, you may have to get it notarized. Well, I had my first ever legal document that needed to be notarized. I had a few friends at work that were Notaries, but I couldn't bring myself to seek their help. I lamented over how I would go about getting this document notarized. It was just a quick stamp and signature but deep down, it was so much more that that. It wasn't just ink on a page. It was ink that was threatening to seal my fate, end a chapter in my life, and I was scared.
My dad told me two of his co-workers were Notaries. He said, "I'll tell them what you're needing. You just come to the police department and they'll take care of it. You don't have to talk about it with them." And so I got in my car during my lunch break, and I remember that it as a cold, dreary, grey day. I drove to the police department, mustered all the courage I could, despite the overwhelming shame that pressed down on my heart, and I headed inside.
I met a young woman at the front desk, and as I followed her back to a small room, I told myself that I would not cry. This would take all of 2 minutes, and I could surely hold myself together for two minutes. I signed my name on the line, she stamped and signed it, too, and she left the room. The door shut behind her and silent tears ran down my face. My dad grabbed a tissue and handed it to me. We sat there in the silence for a few quiet moments, I dried my eyes, and I hugged him as I walked back to my car. It was over. The document had been notarized. I survived.
Four years later, I sat in my office re-living a memory that was well on its way to being forgotten. A memory that, at one time, would have caused great anguish and pain were it to be brought to mind. And yet as I thought back on it, there was no pain. There was no sorrow. There was no hurt. There was only gratitude, thanksgiving, and praise. There was relief, and there was a reminder. A reminder that simply because we are often unprepared for life's twist and turns doesn't mean God is not still in control. Simply because something did not go our way does not mean God will not have His way. Because I look back now and I see that the thing I so easily allowed to define me was the very thing God was going to use to refine me.
One of my new projects concerns Notaries. I am pretty certain I am the only one who is excited about this project. I sat in a 2 hours webinar and I was fascinated by the information I was learning. I scribbled down note after note and dug out my Texas Notary Law book. Two days later, I had read through the whole thing and highlighted the majority of the information. I called an emergency meeting with a few others so I could get this ball rolling, and as I sat in my office creating a list of discussion items, my mind went back to 4 years ago when I needed the help of a Notary.
In case you didn't know, all banks have Notaries. And, if you're wondering what a Notary is supposed to do, their sole job is to be an unbiased third party that serves as a witness. So, if you need a legal document signed, you may have to get it notarized. Well, I had my first ever legal document that needed to be notarized. I had a few friends at work that were Notaries, but I couldn't bring myself to seek their help. I lamented over how I would go about getting this document notarized. It was just a quick stamp and signature but deep down, it was so much more that that. It wasn't just ink on a page. It was ink that was threatening to seal my fate, end a chapter in my life, and I was scared.
My dad told me two of his co-workers were Notaries. He said, "I'll tell them what you're needing. You just come to the police department and they'll take care of it. You don't have to talk about it with them." And so I got in my car during my lunch break, and I remember that it as a cold, dreary, grey day. I drove to the police department, mustered all the courage I could, despite the overwhelming shame that pressed down on my heart, and I headed inside.
I met a young woman at the front desk, and as I followed her back to a small room, I told myself that I would not cry. This would take all of 2 minutes, and I could surely hold myself together for two minutes. I signed my name on the line, she stamped and signed it, too, and she left the room. The door shut behind her and silent tears ran down my face. My dad grabbed a tissue and handed it to me. We sat there in the silence for a few quiet moments, I dried my eyes, and I hugged him as I walked back to my car. It was over. The document had been notarized. I survived.
Four years later, I sat in my office re-living a memory that was well on its way to being forgotten. A memory that, at one time, would have caused great anguish and pain were it to be brought to mind. And yet as I thought back on it, there was no pain. There was no sorrow. There was no hurt. There was only gratitude, thanksgiving, and praise. There was relief, and there was a reminder. A reminder that simply because we are often unprepared for life's twist and turns doesn't mean God is not still in control. Simply because something did not go our way does not mean God will not have His way. Because I look back now and I see that the thing I so easily allowed to define me was the very thing God was going to use to refine me.
"I have refined you, but not as silver is refined.
Rather, I have refined you in the furnace of suffering.
I will rescue you for my sake—
yes, for my own sake!"
Rather, I have refined you in the furnace of suffering.
I will rescue you for my sake—
yes, for my own sake!"
- Isaiah 48:10 - 11
Refined for His own sake. Not in the fire, but in the furnace of suffering. Through it, we understand Him better. Through it, His glory is made know. And we remember that He is a God who saves. A God who rescues. And it's in the furnace that we find His presence, and we realize that we will survive.
“Didn’t we tie up three men and throw them into the furnace?” “Yes, Your Majesty, we certainly did,” they replied. “Look!” Nebuchadnezzar shouted. “I see four men, unbound, walking around in the fire unharmed! And the fourth looks like a god!” - Daniel 3:24-25
Comments
Post a Comment