to the girls who got engaged... and the ones who didn't...
I saw an article on Facebook today titled something along the lines of "Single Girl's Guide to Surviving Engagement Season." And in two months I am sure there will be stuff all over Facebook referring to Valentine's Day as "Singles Awareness Day." Because let's be honest, Christmas and Valentine's Day are the two days of the year when we see some of the biggest displays of affection. Sure, there are those guys who pop the question on random days of the year, but we don't notice those as much as we notice the influx of engagement pictures on December 25 and February 14.
I remember what it felt like. I remember scrolling through my newsfeed and seeing picture after picture of my married friends. I know how it feels to be the one flying solo. All of my girlfriends would post precious pictures of their holiday celebrations with their husbands and fiancés, and it was all I could do not to take it personal. It was like they knew I was looking on Facebook and they were making sure to put up extra lovey-dovey pictures just to spite me. That, or maybe they were just sharing their photos like the rest of the world and I was being overly sensitive. But I know exactly how it feels to want something so bad that it's almost maddening to see everyone else get the one thing you desperately want.
Well, three years ago, I got engaged on Christmas night. I didn't plan it, and I really didn't expect it. It just so happened that was the day he chose. I remember how excited I was to share the good news. I wanted EVERYONE to know. I wanted to shout it from the rooftops. Not because I didn't care about the feelings of anyone else, but because I was thrilled that this man wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. I was thrilled that he had picked me out of all of the other girls in the world. And that night as I posted a picture of my ring for all my friends to see, I giggled like a school girl as I basked in their congratulatory remarks because I knew that this would only last for a short time and I wanted to soak up every moment I possibly could.
And so having been on both sides of the fence, I wanted to write to the girls who got engaged and the ones who are still waiting. I feel for you both, and I know how you both feel. And maybe, just maybe, I can offer you a little insight so that you can enjoy whatever season you happen to be in.
To the girls who got engaged - congratulations! I know you've waited for this, and I am happy you've found the one your heart loves. Soak it up, sister! This season of your life is going to fly by, and you're going to look up one day and wonder how in the world that wedding came and went so quickly. Don't rush the process, and don't overdo it. Enjoy this season because you're never going to get it back. You're only going to be engaged to this man once in your lifetime, so be sure to fill it with everything but regret. Have fun, make memories, don't stress, and don't over analyze it. Prepare for your marriage, not just your wedding. That will be over in one short day, your marriage should last a lifetime. And remember that although this is "your time," one day it will be someone else's "time." Just as you want to feel supported and loved, don't forget to support and love others who are going before you and those who will come behind you. Don't take advantage of your friends, either. Their generosity is to be met with gratitude. Remember, they don't have to do anything nice for you. When they do, truly appreciate it. And don't compare. Don't you ever compare. You are you, you aren't her, and this whole thing, well, it's really about you and him. Don't forget that.
To the girls who are waiting, your day will come. I know you're tempted to roll your eyes right now and say, "Yea, yea, what do you know?" But I do know. And I know that while it may seem like it's taking forever, it will be here before you know it. And the one thing I want to tell you, the one secret I want to share with you, is that this is the best time of your life! Don't waste it! Don't sit around sulking because you've not moved on to the next season. Enjoy where you are. You are not going to get this time back, and trust me, you will look back one day and realize what a beautiful season you are in. This is the time in your life where you really get to be you! You get explore the world, try new things, and learn a whole lot about yourself. This is the time in your life when you can do things you've always wanted to because you've got nothing holding you back. Get a tattoo, go on an adventure, spoil yourself with new dresses when your budget allows, lay in bed all day to read, and watch every sappy Hallmark movie until you've seen them all because one day, that will change. One day, your body, bank account, decisions, and choices won't be solely yours. Sure, it'll be a sweet day, but today is a sweet day, too.
And remember that jealousy and bitterness look good on no one. I've learned that simply because someone may reach the next chapter before we do doesn't mean we can't be happy for them. In fact, if you truly want to find joy, celebrate the good seasons with others because they will return the favor for you. And until your season comes, enjoy the one you're in. It won't last forever, and you'll never get it back. God has a unique timeline for you, and He is intentional with every moment of every day. You just keep on trusting Him even when it's hard, even when it seems like your prayers may be going unanswered. And as you're waiting, delight in Him and He will meet the desires of your heart.
"The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives." - Psalm 37:23
I remember what it felt like. I remember scrolling through my newsfeed and seeing picture after picture of my married friends. I know how it feels to be the one flying solo. All of my girlfriends would post precious pictures of their holiday celebrations with their husbands and fiancés, and it was all I could do not to take it personal. It was like they knew I was looking on Facebook and they were making sure to put up extra lovey-dovey pictures just to spite me. That, or maybe they were just sharing their photos like the rest of the world and I was being overly sensitive. But I know exactly how it feels to want something so bad that it's almost maddening to see everyone else get the one thing you desperately want.
Well, three years ago, I got engaged on Christmas night. I didn't plan it, and I really didn't expect it. It just so happened that was the day he chose. I remember how excited I was to share the good news. I wanted EVERYONE to know. I wanted to shout it from the rooftops. Not because I didn't care about the feelings of anyone else, but because I was thrilled that this man wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. I was thrilled that he had picked me out of all of the other girls in the world. And that night as I posted a picture of my ring for all my friends to see, I giggled like a school girl as I basked in their congratulatory remarks because I knew that this would only last for a short time and I wanted to soak up every moment I possibly could.
And so having been on both sides of the fence, I wanted to write to the girls who got engaged and the ones who are still waiting. I feel for you both, and I know how you both feel. And maybe, just maybe, I can offer you a little insight so that you can enjoy whatever season you happen to be in.
To the girls who got engaged - congratulations! I know you've waited for this, and I am happy you've found the one your heart loves. Soak it up, sister! This season of your life is going to fly by, and you're going to look up one day and wonder how in the world that wedding came and went so quickly. Don't rush the process, and don't overdo it. Enjoy this season because you're never going to get it back. You're only going to be engaged to this man once in your lifetime, so be sure to fill it with everything but regret. Have fun, make memories, don't stress, and don't over analyze it. Prepare for your marriage, not just your wedding. That will be over in one short day, your marriage should last a lifetime. And remember that although this is "your time," one day it will be someone else's "time." Just as you want to feel supported and loved, don't forget to support and love others who are going before you and those who will come behind you. Don't take advantage of your friends, either. Their generosity is to be met with gratitude. Remember, they don't have to do anything nice for you. When they do, truly appreciate it. And don't compare. Don't you ever compare. You are you, you aren't her, and this whole thing, well, it's really about you and him. Don't forget that.
To the girls who are waiting, your day will come. I know you're tempted to roll your eyes right now and say, "Yea, yea, what do you know?" But I do know. And I know that while it may seem like it's taking forever, it will be here before you know it. And the one thing I want to tell you, the one secret I want to share with you, is that this is the best time of your life! Don't waste it! Don't sit around sulking because you've not moved on to the next season. Enjoy where you are. You are not going to get this time back, and trust me, you will look back one day and realize what a beautiful season you are in. This is the time in your life where you really get to be you! You get explore the world, try new things, and learn a whole lot about yourself. This is the time in your life when you can do things you've always wanted to because you've got nothing holding you back. Get a tattoo, go on an adventure, spoil yourself with new dresses when your budget allows, lay in bed all day to read, and watch every sappy Hallmark movie until you've seen them all because one day, that will change. One day, your body, bank account, decisions, and choices won't be solely yours. Sure, it'll be a sweet day, but today is a sweet day, too.
And remember that jealousy and bitterness look good on no one. I've learned that simply because someone may reach the next chapter before we do doesn't mean we can't be happy for them. In fact, if you truly want to find joy, celebrate the good seasons with others because they will return the favor for you. And until your season comes, enjoy the one you're in. It won't last forever, and you'll never get it back. God has a unique timeline for you, and He is intentional with every moment of every day. You just keep on trusting Him even when it's hard, even when it seems like your prayers may be going unanswered. And as you're waiting, delight in Him and He will meet the desires of your heart.
"The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives." - Psalm 37:23
Comments
Post a Comment