that time you were offended... and that time you offended someone else...
It happened during my first week of kindergarten. I stood in the hallway feeling defeated an hurt as one of my classmates had just delivered a serious insult. In fact, I'd venture to say it was probably the first time I had received such an insult. I was offended. Discouraged. Embarrassed. And the truth was, I had no idea what to do about the way I felt other than cry.
It all started over my backpack. I had this sweet little backpack that was the perfect size for a five year old. My mom has always been one for practicality, and it made no sense to have child strap on a backpack in which they could fit. Sure, most of my classmates had backpacks that were two sizes too big, but I didn't. I had a tiny, little backpack that was made up of primary colors. After the school day had ended, we were herded into the kindergartener holding cell to get our belongings. A girl in my class began to poke fun at my tiny backpack and she zipped up her Lisa Frank backpack that hung down to her knees. She told me I had an ugly backpack, and I was at a loss for words. No one had ever said anything about my backpack up until this point, and I was shocked at her statement. I spilled my guts to my mom when I got home that day as I sought solace and comfort that only a mother can give. For as long as I remember, I'll never forget my mom's advice. She said, "Brittnye, the next time she says anything about your backpack, you just say, "Well, that's your opinion." I had no idea what an opinion was, but it sounded like a great comeback. I was prepared the next time she dared say anything about my backpack, and you can believe that when the following day rolled around and she announced her thoughts towards my tiny backpack, I knew exactly how to handle it. I told her that was her opinion, and I marched right past her as she stood there dumbfounded, also not knowing what in the world an opinion was. She ran to tell the teacher my statement, and my teacher plainly said, "Well, that is your opinion." She never made another comment about my backpack, and when she used koolaid to dye her hair in junior high, I well knew that her opinions and mine would never match up.
I read a quote the other day that said 2015 was the year of being offended. I couldn't have agreed more with the statement, as I am constantly amazed at how everyone is offended by any opinion that isn't their own. I have seen more division created over different of opinions. Friendships have been ruined, tension has been increased, and maturity has disappeared. I think we all have a reason to be offended. In fact, you don't have to look far to find one. Join in on any conversation, read any news article, scroll through social media, and you will find something to which you can take offense.
The Lord has really been challenging me in my words over the past year...s, and truth be told, I often feel like it's a battle I'll never win. Because I'll be honest, I am certain I have said things that have offended others. On purpose? No. But every once in a while, we all suffer from foot in the mouth disease. We make comments that aren't uplifting, spew words that don't edify, and say things we wish we could take back. Our thoughts and opinions may tear others down or discourage them. They might bring hurt instead of help and cause pain instead of comfort. And while we are wise to choose our words carefully, we must be just as wise to know when we've said something that warrants an apology.
But more than just being careful with our words, we must practice grace for the words of others. I can't tell you how many times I have been in a conversation where people make negative comments about divorce... or blondes, to which I just roll my eyes. In fact, both happen so often, that I've had to really push myself to let those comments roll off of my back. I was sitting in a large room on Sunday morning as a comment was made about the disgraceful sin of divorce. Of course, of all the sins that one could mention, divorce was at the top of their list. And let's just be real here for a moment, can we? Don't we list off the things that have no personal impact on our lives first? Aren't those "the worst?" Well, no one else in that room thought another thing about it, and all shook their head in agreement as they majority of the room consisted of young, single people. Being the only person in the entire room who has actually been through a divorce, I certainly had a different perspective. Sure, I could have offered up my experienced opinion on the subject to ensure that everyone in the room looked at things from my perspective in an attempt to align their thinking with my own. I could have thrown an internal hissy fit and secretly held a grudge against the person who offered up the example. I could have been so offended that I stormed out, threating to never come back and maybe, just maybe, even give up my faith. But what good would that do? What help would that be? The comment wasn't being made in an attempt to try and insult me. It was my fault if I chose to take it personally. Really, the comment wasn't wrong, I just didn't like hearing it. And isn't that what happens most of the time? Maybe not all opinions are wrong, maybe we just don't like the truth from which they're being developed. And maybe, the real opinion that needs to be looked at, the one that we can actually do something about, is the one rolling around in our head.
It's a choice. Like all things in life, we choose how we react and we choose how we respond. We choose to show grace, fully aware of the fact that we, ourselves, need it just as much as we need to show it. And we let it go. Life isn't just about us and about our feelings no matter how much the world tries to convince otherwise. Life is a constant lesson in learning how to give and show grace. How to walk in forgiveness whether you're the one offering it or the one receiving it. And sometimes, like my mom said, we remember that it's just an opinion. Just a thought. And unless it's grounded in truth, in God's truth, we don't let it ruin us because opinions will come and go, but God's word is eternal.
"A truly wise person uses few words; a person with understanding is even-tempered." - Proverbs 17:27
It all started over my backpack. I had this sweet little backpack that was the perfect size for a five year old. My mom has always been one for practicality, and it made no sense to have child strap on a backpack in which they could fit. Sure, most of my classmates had backpacks that were two sizes too big, but I didn't. I had a tiny, little backpack that was made up of primary colors. After the school day had ended, we were herded into the kindergartener holding cell to get our belongings. A girl in my class began to poke fun at my tiny backpack and she zipped up her Lisa Frank backpack that hung down to her knees. She told me I had an ugly backpack, and I was at a loss for words. No one had ever said anything about my backpack up until this point, and I was shocked at her statement. I spilled my guts to my mom when I got home that day as I sought solace and comfort that only a mother can give. For as long as I remember, I'll never forget my mom's advice. She said, "Brittnye, the next time she says anything about your backpack, you just say, "Well, that's your opinion." I had no idea what an opinion was, but it sounded like a great comeback. I was prepared the next time she dared say anything about my backpack, and you can believe that when the following day rolled around and she announced her thoughts towards my tiny backpack, I knew exactly how to handle it. I told her that was her opinion, and I marched right past her as she stood there dumbfounded, also not knowing what in the world an opinion was. She ran to tell the teacher my statement, and my teacher plainly said, "Well, that is your opinion." She never made another comment about my backpack, and when she used koolaid to dye her hair in junior high, I well knew that her opinions and mine would never match up.
I read a quote the other day that said 2015 was the year of being offended. I couldn't have agreed more with the statement, as I am constantly amazed at how everyone is offended by any opinion that isn't their own. I have seen more division created over different of opinions. Friendships have been ruined, tension has been increased, and maturity has disappeared. I think we all have a reason to be offended. In fact, you don't have to look far to find one. Join in on any conversation, read any news article, scroll through social media, and you will find something to which you can take offense.
The Lord has really been challenging me in my words over the past year...s, and truth be told, I often feel like it's a battle I'll never win. Because I'll be honest, I am certain I have said things that have offended others. On purpose? No. But every once in a while, we all suffer from foot in the mouth disease. We make comments that aren't uplifting, spew words that don't edify, and say things we wish we could take back. Our thoughts and opinions may tear others down or discourage them. They might bring hurt instead of help and cause pain instead of comfort. And while we are wise to choose our words carefully, we must be just as wise to know when we've said something that warrants an apology.
But more than just being careful with our words, we must practice grace for the words of others. I can't tell you how many times I have been in a conversation where people make negative comments about divorce... or blondes, to which I just roll my eyes. In fact, both happen so often, that I've had to really push myself to let those comments roll off of my back. I was sitting in a large room on Sunday morning as a comment was made about the disgraceful sin of divorce. Of course, of all the sins that one could mention, divorce was at the top of their list. And let's just be real here for a moment, can we? Don't we list off the things that have no personal impact on our lives first? Aren't those "the worst?" Well, no one else in that room thought another thing about it, and all shook their head in agreement as they majority of the room consisted of young, single people. Being the only person in the entire room who has actually been through a divorce, I certainly had a different perspective. Sure, I could have offered up my experienced opinion on the subject to ensure that everyone in the room looked at things from my perspective in an attempt to align their thinking with my own. I could have thrown an internal hissy fit and secretly held a grudge against the person who offered up the example. I could have been so offended that I stormed out, threating to never come back and maybe, just maybe, even give up my faith. But what good would that do? What help would that be? The comment wasn't being made in an attempt to try and insult me. It was my fault if I chose to take it personally. Really, the comment wasn't wrong, I just didn't like hearing it. And isn't that what happens most of the time? Maybe not all opinions are wrong, maybe we just don't like the truth from which they're being developed. And maybe, the real opinion that needs to be looked at, the one that we can actually do something about, is the one rolling around in our head.
It's a choice. Like all things in life, we choose how we react and we choose how we respond. We choose to show grace, fully aware of the fact that we, ourselves, need it just as much as we need to show it. And we let it go. Life isn't just about us and about our feelings no matter how much the world tries to convince otherwise. Life is a constant lesson in learning how to give and show grace. How to walk in forgiveness whether you're the one offering it or the one receiving it. And sometimes, like my mom said, we remember that it's just an opinion. Just a thought. And unless it's grounded in truth, in God's truth, we don't let it ruin us because opinions will come and go, but God's word is eternal.
"A truly wise person uses few words; a person with understanding is even-tempered." - Proverbs 17:27
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