perfect ways...
Before Annabeth was born I had never changed a diaper. I had never fed and burped a baby, clothed or bathed one, put one to sleep, or really even held one for longer than a few minutes. To say I was clueless was an understatement. I really, honestly, had no idea what I was doing. To make matters even more complicated, I chose to keep myself ignorant by not reading up on how to be a mother. Many of my friends spent the entire 9 months of their pregnancies reading book after book and article after article on how to take care of a baby. I just assumed that motherly instincts would kick in and I would know exactly what to do. After all, I am a decently intelligent and logical person. I figured if animals could do it, how hard could it be?
Three weeks before I was induced to have Annabeth, I was scheduled for weekly stress tests to monitor her movement and heartbeat... or something like that. Anyway, I showed up and sat in a recliner for 20 minutes with a monitor strapped to my stomach and that was the gist of it. A few days before my last visit, this strange thing started happening with my stomach. Out of no where, it would tense up, feel hard, and look funny shaped. It felt odd but I thought it was because Annabeth was taking those moments to stretch. Come to find out at my last monitoring appointment, I was having Braxton Hicks contractions. That is where reading might have come in handy. Who knew?!
Going into the process I realized I was at a bit of disadvantage. I had already decided that I wouldn't get myself in a tizzy but would let the hospital staff teach me what they knew and take it one day at a time. But as all new mothers soon come to find out, when it comes to babies, there are a million and one ways to do things and every one has a preferred method they swear by. Read a book, do a quick Google search, talk to a lady at the store, and you learn that although there is not one certain way to do things, everyone is convinced their way is right.
I have learned (in my almost 14 months of mothering) that there are many wise and experienced mothers in the world, there are many smart and intellectual researchers, too, but no one has all of the answers. No one's ways are perfect. I have yet to meet a mom who always knows exactly what to do or has a correct answer for every situation. When it comes to raising children, it's often a series of trial and error. And just when you begin to feel like you've got it down and maybe you are a super mom after all, those sweet babies throw you a curve ball that you didn't see coming. And so what's a mom to do?
I find myself in this situation more often than not. It happens quickly, too. Because for the few aspects of mothering that I have figured out, there are infinitely more that I haven't. But I have found that, in those moments of wondering what I should do or how I should address a situation, I whisper the words, "God, give me today, my daily bread." Give me the mothering wisdom I need today to raise this child. Because she's a different child every day. She's growing and learning and changing at such a rapid pace, and so am I. And so I need my slice of mothering bread. Of discernment and help and guidance from God because "God's ways are perfect." (Psalm 18:30) That's right! His ways are perfect! Not mine, not yours, not the mother down the street who seems to have it together, or the one who has a few decades of experience under her belt. God's ways are perfect. God's and God's alone.
I took Annabeth on a late afternoon walk so we could get some fresh air. This thought has been rolling around in my mind for a while now. The thought that God's ways are perfect. As we walked I noticed the changing leaves on the trees. The trees that were green a few weeks ago were now boasting shades of red, orange, and yellow. And as I heard flocks of geese honking overhead as they flew south for the winter, it made sense. That the God who placed that instinct in the minds of geese to migrate for warmth at a certain time each year, the God who prepares the trees for the changing of every season, can certainly give me the wisdom to get through every stage of parenthood. Every day of parenthood. Because He knows me and He knows my child. He knows how she needs to be disciplined, how she needs to be taught, he knows her love language, and he knows the plans for her life. He knows what our days will look like before we live them out, and if God can orchestrate all of creation to work in such magnificent ways, then I can trust that God will lead and guide me to be the mother he has called me to be. Every single day. Season after season. Year after year. Because His ways are perfect.
Three weeks before I was induced to have Annabeth, I was scheduled for weekly stress tests to monitor her movement and heartbeat... or something like that. Anyway, I showed up and sat in a recliner for 20 minutes with a monitor strapped to my stomach and that was the gist of it. A few days before my last visit, this strange thing started happening with my stomach. Out of no where, it would tense up, feel hard, and look funny shaped. It felt odd but I thought it was because Annabeth was taking those moments to stretch. Come to find out at my last monitoring appointment, I was having Braxton Hicks contractions. That is where reading might have come in handy. Who knew?!
Going into the process I realized I was at a bit of disadvantage. I had already decided that I wouldn't get myself in a tizzy but would let the hospital staff teach me what they knew and take it one day at a time. But as all new mothers soon come to find out, when it comes to babies, there are a million and one ways to do things and every one has a preferred method they swear by. Read a book, do a quick Google search, talk to a lady at the store, and you learn that although there is not one certain way to do things, everyone is convinced their way is right.
I have learned (in my almost 14 months of mothering) that there are many wise and experienced mothers in the world, there are many smart and intellectual researchers, too, but no one has all of the answers. No one's ways are perfect. I have yet to meet a mom who always knows exactly what to do or has a correct answer for every situation. When it comes to raising children, it's often a series of trial and error. And just when you begin to feel like you've got it down and maybe you are a super mom after all, those sweet babies throw you a curve ball that you didn't see coming. And so what's a mom to do?
I find myself in this situation more often than not. It happens quickly, too. Because for the few aspects of mothering that I have figured out, there are infinitely more that I haven't. But I have found that, in those moments of wondering what I should do or how I should address a situation, I whisper the words, "God, give me today, my daily bread." Give me the mothering wisdom I need today to raise this child. Because she's a different child every day. She's growing and learning and changing at such a rapid pace, and so am I. And so I need my slice of mothering bread. Of discernment and help and guidance from God because "God's ways are perfect." (Psalm 18:30) That's right! His ways are perfect! Not mine, not yours, not the mother down the street who seems to have it together, or the one who has a few decades of experience under her belt. God's ways are perfect. God's and God's alone.
I took Annabeth on a late afternoon walk so we could get some fresh air. This thought has been rolling around in my mind for a while now. The thought that God's ways are perfect. As we walked I noticed the changing leaves on the trees. The trees that were green a few weeks ago were now boasting shades of red, orange, and yellow. And as I heard flocks of geese honking overhead as they flew south for the winter, it made sense. That the God who placed that instinct in the minds of geese to migrate for warmth at a certain time each year, the God who prepares the trees for the changing of every season, can certainly give me the wisdom to get through every stage of parenthood. Every day of parenthood. Because He knows me and He knows my child. He knows how she needs to be disciplined, how she needs to be taught, he knows her love language, and he knows the plans for her life. He knows what our days will look like before we live them out, and if God can orchestrate all of creation to work in such magnificent ways, then I can trust that God will lead and guide me to be the mother he has called me to be. Every single day. Season after season. Year after year. Because His ways are perfect.
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