my not-so strange addiction...
I set up a Facebook account my sophomore year of college. Facebook was new to the world wide web. It was truly a networking site intended to be used solely by collegiate students. What made it so unique was that you had to attend a university that was registered with Facebook, so it wasn't available to any and everyone. My freshman year was spent at a community college that was not registered with Facebook, so I didn't have a profile. I had a MySpace, which was the cool thing in the early 2000's. And I had a cell phone that I used to make phone calls. Yep, that was it. No texting, no camera, no apps. And somehow I managed to survive.
I attended orientation in the spring of 2006 at Texas Tech and received my official email address. I didn't consider Facebook because I didn't know much about it. I just went about my summer doing things with people, like we used to do back in the day, and building authentic relationships. But a boy made an appearance and I knew he went to Tech as well. One of my girlfriends knew of Facebook so she helped me set up my account to see if we could find him. I was a stalker. And pathetic. I'm sort of embarrassed that I'm even admitting this, but I'm pretty sure I'm not the only girl who has ever made herself look hopelessly desperate before. (I know you're probably wondering about this boy. Nothing came of it. I'm sure he wasn't even aware that I existed.) Of course, the only way to access Facebook was on an actual computer and when you're doing anything on dial-up or really horrible wifi, it's not as appealing.
Between classes I would occasionally drop in the computer lab and check my email. (Here's a fun fact for you: I still use my original email address that I set up with AOL when I was in junior high. How's that for loyalty?) I'd hop on some photography blogs, which were also a new and upcoming thing, check out People.com to see what was going on in Hollywood, and take a moment to look at Facebook, but there wasn't much to view. It was simple. A way to communicate and get in touch with friends, but aside from that there weren't ads or videos and pictures had to be uploaded from an actual camera. Plus, the world wasn't using Facebook so even searching for friends was pretty limited.
I upgraded to a flip phone but continued my college career without texting. I believe the first iPhone hit the market towards the end of my time at Tech, but I had an iPod shuffle and a flip phone so that's all I needed, right? My parents refused to pay for texting, as they felt it was a waste of money. And as crazy as that sounds, you don't know what you don't know. And so if my friends needed me, they called me. And I called them. And we would hang out together and do things and no one even looked at or cared about their phones because there was nothing important on them anyway. They were just phones, not extensions of our hands.
I finally entered into the world of smartphones in 2011 when I got a Blackberry, which made me feel super fancy and high tech. I had been texting for about 2 years prior to that and loved the keyboard on the Blackberry. I was also impressed that I could get online and send emails and even do a little social media surfing. At this point, Facebook had done away with the "collegiate students only" requirement and people of all ages and walks of life were setting up profiles. I thought this was unfair, but then again, I also didn't want to lose my profile because I had made all sorts of friends in college with whom I wanted to stay in touch. At that point I became a little more active with checking my Facebook profile throughout the day. I didn't have to wait until I got home to see what people were doing. What I didn't realize is how I was becoming slowly addicted to social media. That sounds weird to say because we always use the word "addicted" with things that harm our bodies. And then there came a point when I decided, for personal reasons, to deactivate my account for about 3 months. I was amazed at how much free time I had. The days seemed longer and fuller. My time was spent doing things that were productive and beneficial. But three months later, I reactivated my account. And really, it wasn't that big of a deal until the day I got an iPhone.
As newlyweds, Aaron and I decided that anytime we vacationed we would enact a no-phone policy. We went hardcore during our honeymoon and completely turned our phones off for an entire week and put them in the safe. We had no idea what was going on in the world until we turned on the news the day before we left Mexico. And you know what? It was one of the most relaxing and enjoyable weeks of my life. And so last week we took a mini vacation to the Hill Country and modified our rule since Annabeth wasn't with us. But during the day we left our phones in our pockets. We didn't look at them unless they rang. He didn't check his work emails, and I didn't get on Facebook. The only time we did anything with our phones was in the evening when we were done with everything we wanted to do for the day. Friday afternoon we floated the river. It was beautiful. The weather was hot but the water was cool and the scenery was amazing. I began noticing how many people had their phones with them. I suppose I could understand if people were floating alone, but just about everyone was with a group. Rather than talking or looking at the scenery or just relaxing and enjoying the afternoon, faces were stuck in phones. I felt a little self-righteous, to be honest. But I also felt convicted. Sure, at that moment I wasn't looking at my phone, but what about the rest of my time? The truth is, I'm no different. And the reality is that I've got to change.
We got home on Monday afternoon and I went to the store to get a new phone. I've been carrying around an iPhone5 for years now that has started to act up. I figured it might be wise to get a new phone before mine completely died. The sales rep asked if I'd like to trade it in. She looked on the trade in list and said, "Well, this phone isn't actually on the list. I guess it's too old. You might as well keep it for a back up." As I set up my new phone that night, I decided not to add any social media apps. I know this doesn't sound like a big deal, but I can't tell you how many times I have reached for my phone over the past few days only to realize I have nothing to look at. I can text or call someone, check the weather, or delete some spam emails. Those are my options, and I've realized how often, out of sheer habit, I look at my phone. It's sad. It's really sad. In fact, if I had a log of what my eyes look at each day, I can bet you that a large percentage of that time would be allocated to my phone.
But I know I'm not alone. I know I sound weird and "old school," but I think we can agree that our phones and social media usage has radically changed our society. Every time I am in a restaurant, I see tables of families who are looking at their phones. I've witnessed a fair share of couples on dates who seem more interested in what's on their phone screens than they are in one another. I don't know about you, but I don't want my marriage to suffer because I spend more time scrolling through a screen than spending quality time with my husband. And I don't want to watch my daughter grow up while peering over the top of a phone or for her to think that whatever is on that screen is significantly more important to me than she is. I don't want my perception of my self-worth to be based on followers or likes. And I don't want my moments, hours, and days to be stolen by a small device that I have been fooled into believing I can't live without.
Am I deleting my Facebook account? Clearly not. Am I doing away with social media? Only on my phone. Because these days are short. The days given to us are used up and never given back. And I don't want to get to the end of my life and realize how much of it was spent scrolling. How much of it was viewed through the screen of the phone. I want to live my life in real time. To enjoy my people without extra distraction or competition. To be wise on where my minutes go and make sure my focus stays in the right direction, too. Because Facebook is probably always going to be there. Phones will, too. And when we get around to checking them, we'll come to realize that we haven't missed a thing.
I attended orientation in the spring of 2006 at Texas Tech and received my official email address. I didn't consider Facebook because I didn't know much about it. I just went about my summer doing things with people, like we used to do back in the day, and building authentic relationships. But a boy made an appearance and I knew he went to Tech as well. One of my girlfriends knew of Facebook so she helped me set up my account to see if we could find him. I was a stalker. And pathetic. I'm sort of embarrassed that I'm even admitting this, but I'm pretty sure I'm not the only girl who has ever made herself look hopelessly desperate before. (I know you're probably wondering about this boy. Nothing came of it. I'm sure he wasn't even aware that I existed.) Of course, the only way to access Facebook was on an actual computer and when you're doing anything on dial-up or really horrible wifi, it's not as appealing.
Between classes I would occasionally drop in the computer lab and check my email. (Here's a fun fact for you: I still use my original email address that I set up with AOL when I was in junior high. How's that for loyalty?) I'd hop on some photography blogs, which were also a new and upcoming thing, check out People.com to see what was going on in Hollywood, and take a moment to look at Facebook, but there wasn't much to view. It was simple. A way to communicate and get in touch with friends, but aside from that there weren't ads or videos and pictures had to be uploaded from an actual camera. Plus, the world wasn't using Facebook so even searching for friends was pretty limited.
I upgraded to a flip phone but continued my college career without texting. I believe the first iPhone hit the market towards the end of my time at Tech, but I had an iPod shuffle and a flip phone so that's all I needed, right? My parents refused to pay for texting, as they felt it was a waste of money. And as crazy as that sounds, you don't know what you don't know. And so if my friends needed me, they called me. And I called them. And we would hang out together and do things and no one even looked at or cared about their phones because there was nothing important on them anyway. They were just phones, not extensions of our hands.
I finally entered into the world of smartphones in 2011 when I got a Blackberry, which made me feel super fancy and high tech. I had been texting for about 2 years prior to that and loved the keyboard on the Blackberry. I was also impressed that I could get online and send emails and even do a little social media surfing. At this point, Facebook had done away with the "collegiate students only" requirement and people of all ages and walks of life were setting up profiles. I thought this was unfair, but then again, I also didn't want to lose my profile because I had made all sorts of friends in college with whom I wanted to stay in touch. At that point I became a little more active with checking my Facebook profile throughout the day. I didn't have to wait until I got home to see what people were doing. What I didn't realize is how I was becoming slowly addicted to social media. That sounds weird to say because we always use the word "addicted" with things that harm our bodies. And then there came a point when I decided, for personal reasons, to deactivate my account for about 3 months. I was amazed at how much free time I had. The days seemed longer and fuller. My time was spent doing things that were productive and beneficial. But three months later, I reactivated my account. And really, it wasn't that big of a deal until the day I got an iPhone.
As newlyweds, Aaron and I decided that anytime we vacationed we would enact a no-phone policy. We went hardcore during our honeymoon and completely turned our phones off for an entire week and put them in the safe. We had no idea what was going on in the world until we turned on the news the day before we left Mexico. And you know what? It was one of the most relaxing and enjoyable weeks of my life. And so last week we took a mini vacation to the Hill Country and modified our rule since Annabeth wasn't with us. But during the day we left our phones in our pockets. We didn't look at them unless they rang. He didn't check his work emails, and I didn't get on Facebook. The only time we did anything with our phones was in the evening when we were done with everything we wanted to do for the day. Friday afternoon we floated the river. It was beautiful. The weather was hot but the water was cool and the scenery was amazing. I began noticing how many people had their phones with them. I suppose I could understand if people were floating alone, but just about everyone was with a group. Rather than talking or looking at the scenery or just relaxing and enjoying the afternoon, faces were stuck in phones. I felt a little self-righteous, to be honest. But I also felt convicted. Sure, at that moment I wasn't looking at my phone, but what about the rest of my time? The truth is, I'm no different. And the reality is that I've got to change.
We got home on Monday afternoon and I went to the store to get a new phone. I've been carrying around an iPhone5 for years now that has started to act up. I figured it might be wise to get a new phone before mine completely died. The sales rep asked if I'd like to trade it in. She looked on the trade in list and said, "Well, this phone isn't actually on the list. I guess it's too old. You might as well keep it for a back up." As I set up my new phone that night, I decided not to add any social media apps. I know this doesn't sound like a big deal, but I can't tell you how many times I have reached for my phone over the past few days only to realize I have nothing to look at. I can text or call someone, check the weather, or delete some spam emails. Those are my options, and I've realized how often, out of sheer habit, I look at my phone. It's sad. It's really sad. In fact, if I had a log of what my eyes look at each day, I can bet you that a large percentage of that time would be allocated to my phone.
But I know I'm not alone. I know I sound weird and "old school," but I think we can agree that our phones and social media usage has radically changed our society. Every time I am in a restaurant, I see tables of families who are looking at their phones. I've witnessed a fair share of couples on dates who seem more interested in what's on their phone screens than they are in one another. I don't know about you, but I don't want my marriage to suffer because I spend more time scrolling through a screen than spending quality time with my husband. And I don't want to watch my daughter grow up while peering over the top of a phone or for her to think that whatever is on that screen is significantly more important to me than she is. I don't want my perception of my self-worth to be based on followers or likes. And I don't want my moments, hours, and days to be stolen by a small device that I have been fooled into believing I can't live without.
Am I deleting my Facebook account? Clearly not. Am I doing away with social media? Only on my phone. Because these days are short. The days given to us are used up and never given back. And I don't want to get to the end of my life and realize how much of it was spent scrolling. How much of it was viewed through the screen of the phone. I want to live my life in real time. To enjoy my people without extra distraction or competition. To be wise on where my minutes go and make sure my focus stays in the right direction, too. Because Facebook is probably always going to be there. Phones will, too. And when we get around to checking them, we'll come to realize that we haven't missed a thing.
Comments
Post a Comment