pretty is as pretty does...
This is my first joint post to you, my girls. It feels odd saying that and I still can't believe that I have two daughters of my own! Sometimes I get a little carried away thinking about our future and all that we'll walk through together. I think my biggest concern is finding a way to make sufficient time for the both of you. I don't have a sister, so I had my mom all to myself and still do to this day! Your uncle didn't want to join in on the girly things we did, and boys usually don't want to hang out with their moms, so I was fortunate to get a lot of one on one time with my mother. I know God will help me figure this out, but my prayer is that you two will be the sweetest of friends and will let me in on the fun! Of course, your dad is really the fun one and much cooler so you may both prefer to hang out with him instead. Who knows what will come, but for now my hopes are high for us as a family!
Your dad and I had a long conversation the other night concerning appearance. Even though I've only seen one of you in person thus far, I know you're both absolutely beautiful. And the unfortunate thing is that you're going to live in a society that praises extremes all the while disguising reality. This isn't new by any means but as technology grows, so does deceit. I have struggled with my image until recently. Over the past year I have grown comfortable in my own skin and could care the less what other people think. I do believe motherhood has helped in that endeavor because I've been forced to realize that there are way more important things in life than clothing or makeup. In fact, I went to get my hair colored and cut last week during Annabeth's nap time. When I got home, I had on sweatpants, a pullover, and a bit of mascara with freshly blown hair. Annabeth gave me a hug when I walked in the house and said (completely unprompted), "Mommy you look pretty!" I wouldn't have described myself as pretty in that moment but it melted me heart. Because here's the thing, anyone can look like a million bucks with a professional makeup job. And the more money you're willing to spend and the more treatments you're able to have, well it only makes sense that you would look flawless. There are makeup tricks out there to make it look as if you have high cheekbones, a slimmer nose, fuller lips, or longer lashes. Don't get me wrong, I look forward to opportunities when I can play with makeup and get dolled up. But at the end of the day, as it all washes down the drain, the person you really are emerges and that makeup you spent time applying is just a temporary cover to the permanent face God designed for you.
It's a fine line if you ask me. The line of seeing your body as God's temple and not letting it turn into an idol. There is no space or praise for "normal" people, which is the majority of the world. And I get it, beauty sells. I'm a recovering beauty product addict. The amount of money I have spent on beauty products over my lifetime is probably something for which I should repent. And the more I spent time and energy and money looking for miracle products to try and "fix" my flaws or disguise my imperfections the more discouraged I became. Because nothing really worked. I began to simplify, throw things out, and I made a rule that I couldn't have more than one of the same type of product. There was so much freedom in letting go of those things... well minus the regret of realizing how much money was being tossed, but I've since gotten over that. I found freedom in the simplicity of embracing the person God made me to be rather than constantly trying to alter her but it's a battle that I'm sure I'll always have to fight.
So how did all of that insecurity start, you ask? Well, the same way it will probably start with you, sweet girls. With comparisons, with comments, with boys. From an early age, I would compare myself to the girls around me who were considered desirable, of which I was not, and I didn't look like them. I wasn't built like them. I didn't have long, thick hair like them. I was really pale. I had braces and glasses and an unfortunate haircut. I didn't dress like them, and I couldn't have even if I wanted to. I was uncoordinated. I was quiet and introverted and a rule follower to the extreme. I didn't stand out of the crowd. And here's the thing, most of those things haven't changed. Thankfully, the braces were a one time thing but every thing else still applies. Most of the time, I felt the complete opposite. I felt totally undesirable, and comments made throughout the years didn't change that train of thought. And there were a few boys along the way whose attention I desperately wanted. I cared so much about their opinions, which is really unfortunate. It was only later in life that I realized the driving force behind those boys' affections really had little to do with appearance, but we'll save that conversation for when you're older. Yet I took those things to heart. I gave them more thought and consideration than I ever should have, and what I have learned is this. Just because one person, or even a few, doesn't see your value, appreciate your beauty, consider your worth, or desire you doesn't make you ugly, worthless, and undesirable. You are priceless, beautiful, worthy, and wanted, and no one person should ever have that kind of influence over your life whatsoever! The God of the universe saw it fit to create you in his image, the way you are, to place you on earth, and to fill your lungs with breath. That determines your beauty, value, worth, and want. And at the end of the day, and the end of your life, that's the only one whose approval is needed. The only opinion that really counts!
Your dad and I had a long conversation the other night concerning appearance. Even though I've only seen one of you in person thus far, I know you're both absolutely beautiful. And the unfortunate thing is that you're going to live in a society that praises extremes all the while disguising reality. This isn't new by any means but as technology grows, so does deceit. I have struggled with my image until recently. Over the past year I have grown comfortable in my own skin and could care the less what other people think. I do believe motherhood has helped in that endeavor because I've been forced to realize that there are way more important things in life than clothing or makeup. In fact, I went to get my hair colored and cut last week during Annabeth's nap time. When I got home, I had on sweatpants, a pullover, and a bit of mascara with freshly blown hair. Annabeth gave me a hug when I walked in the house and said (completely unprompted), "Mommy you look pretty!" I wouldn't have described myself as pretty in that moment but it melted me heart. Because here's the thing, anyone can look like a million bucks with a professional makeup job. And the more money you're willing to spend and the more treatments you're able to have, well it only makes sense that you would look flawless. There are makeup tricks out there to make it look as if you have high cheekbones, a slimmer nose, fuller lips, or longer lashes. Don't get me wrong, I look forward to opportunities when I can play with makeup and get dolled up. But at the end of the day, as it all washes down the drain, the person you really are emerges and that makeup you spent time applying is just a temporary cover to the permanent face God designed for you.
It's a fine line if you ask me. The line of seeing your body as God's temple and not letting it turn into an idol. There is no space or praise for "normal" people, which is the majority of the world. And I get it, beauty sells. I'm a recovering beauty product addict. The amount of money I have spent on beauty products over my lifetime is probably something for which I should repent. And the more I spent time and energy and money looking for miracle products to try and "fix" my flaws or disguise my imperfections the more discouraged I became. Because nothing really worked. I began to simplify, throw things out, and I made a rule that I couldn't have more than one of the same type of product. There was so much freedom in letting go of those things... well minus the regret of realizing how much money was being tossed, but I've since gotten over that. I found freedom in the simplicity of embracing the person God made me to be rather than constantly trying to alter her but it's a battle that I'm sure I'll always have to fight.
So how did all of that insecurity start, you ask? Well, the same way it will probably start with you, sweet girls. With comparisons, with comments, with boys. From an early age, I would compare myself to the girls around me who were considered desirable, of which I was not, and I didn't look like them. I wasn't built like them. I didn't have long, thick hair like them. I was really pale. I had braces and glasses and an unfortunate haircut. I didn't dress like them, and I couldn't have even if I wanted to. I was uncoordinated. I was quiet and introverted and a rule follower to the extreme. I didn't stand out of the crowd. And here's the thing, most of those things haven't changed. Thankfully, the braces were a one time thing but every thing else still applies. Most of the time, I felt the complete opposite. I felt totally undesirable, and comments made throughout the years didn't change that train of thought. And there were a few boys along the way whose attention I desperately wanted. I cared so much about their opinions, which is really unfortunate. It was only later in life that I realized the driving force behind those boys' affections really had little to do with appearance, but we'll save that conversation for when you're older. Yet I took those things to heart. I gave them more thought and consideration than I ever should have, and what I have learned is this. Just because one person, or even a few, doesn't see your value, appreciate your beauty, consider your worth, or desire you doesn't make you ugly, worthless, and undesirable. You are priceless, beautiful, worthy, and wanted, and no one person should ever have that kind of influence over your life whatsoever! The God of the universe saw it fit to create you in his image, the way you are, to place you on earth, and to fill your lungs with breath. That determines your beauty, value, worth, and want. And at the end of the day, and the end of your life, that's the only one whose approval is needed. The only opinion that really counts!
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