so you're unqualified...
"A person who has been divorced may never hold this position." It was like a punch to the gut. I didn't disagree with the statement by any means. I totally understood the thought behind it. She leaned over to the lady beside her and whispered, "It's proof that you're a person of faithfulness." Of course she wasn't talking to me. She probably had no idea I could hear her or that it would make the bottom of my stomach drop. I didn't say anything. No one did. We all understood the rationale. And the funny thing was that this wasn't a position I had been offered or would probably ever even be offered. It's not like it was up for grabs. It's nothing that I have considered doing all of my life or a position that I seriously thought I could obtain anytime soon. But now I knew. I knew I would always and forever be unqualified. That even if, by a big stretch and a miracle, it came open and I threw my name in the hat, I would be removed immediately. Not because I couldn't do it or because God hasn't equipped me with the skills, passion, abilities, and talents to do it. But because I have been through a divorce and that would blacklist me forever.
I remember thinking I would never be useful to God the day the divorce was finalized. Well, I thought it long before that day, but the signature of the judge made that a permanent mark in my otherwise very neat and tidy record. I never advocated for divorce. I never wanted to go through one, myself. I've since learned, in many ways, that life often puts us into situations that are far outside of our control. I'm sure you've found yourself there before. There at the mercy of another person's decisions and all you can do is accept the outcome. Because there is no promise that followers of Christ will get exactly what they want or that things will always go their way. It's just the unfortunate reality of our fallen, broken society. The bittersweet gift of free will. And sometimes, no matter what we want or desire or hope for, we find ourselves looking at a list of qualifications we'll never be able to meet and no matter the situation, it's not easy to accept.
I'll never be a gymnast or basketball player. I simply won't. I don't have the body type for either one of those sports and no matter how hard I try, I'll never alter my height to be tall enough or short enough. I've come to accept that reality because I have no desire to be either one of those things. But this. This thing, I really thought that maybe this might be up my alley. That maybe one day this might be an opportunity that God would offer me. That maybe, way down the line in a decade or so, I might be able to serve God in this manner because, until now, I really had no clue that the biggest disqualifier would be divorce. I thought to myself, "But what about the women who've had children outside of wedlock? What about the women who've had abortions? What about the women who've never been divorced but have not remained faithful? What about the women who have horrible marriages or wayward children? What is it about being divorced that makes someone unqualified?" But the truth is that, when it comes to being used by God, none of us are actually qualified.
I mulled it over, refusing to allow the enemy to have a foothold on this one. I've fought this battle time and time again for many, many years now and I know that if I give him a chance to discourage me, he'll take it in a heartbeat. Leaning against the bathroom wall in an over sized t-shirt, I told my husband about the news while he brushed his teeth before we got in bed. "Babe, I'm sorry to hear that. That's a bummer." I don't know why I felt the need to tell him, but I appreciated his comment. I suppose I really just needed to verbalized it to someone to get it off my chest. We laughed and made a few funny jokes to lighten the situation because, truth be told, it's really a wise decision made by Godly people who are concerned about keeping God's word and honoring it, and I don't think exceptions should be made.
I crawled into bed and the Lord whispered to my heart, "Just because it's not this opportunity doesn't mean you are disqualified from being used by me. You should know that by now. I have other things in store for you. I see, and I have always seen, your faithfulness. Divorce has nothing to do with that."
Timothy tells us that even "if we are faithless, He remains faithful for he cannot deny who He is." (2 Timothy 2:13) But here's the thing, friend, regardless of what we are going through, we always have the choice to remain faithful to God. Yes, even in the midst of a divorce, one can remain faithful. But should we fail or forget or get way off track, we know God never changes who He is. And just as He is faithful to lead us through the valleys of life, He is also faithful to use our biggest trials to usher in some of our biggest triumphs! And so no matter how we are used by God, it's a privilege to be used. And the beauty of seeking His kingdom's work is that He always has something for each of us to do!
I remember thinking I would never be useful to God the day the divorce was finalized. Well, I thought it long before that day, but the signature of the judge made that a permanent mark in my otherwise very neat and tidy record. I never advocated for divorce. I never wanted to go through one, myself. I've since learned, in many ways, that life often puts us into situations that are far outside of our control. I'm sure you've found yourself there before. There at the mercy of another person's decisions and all you can do is accept the outcome. Because there is no promise that followers of Christ will get exactly what they want or that things will always go their way. It's just the unfortunate reality of our fallen, broken society. The bittersweet gift of free will. And sometimes, no matter what we want or desire or hope for, we find ourselves looking at a list of qualifications we'll never be able to meet and no matter the situation, it's not easy to accept.
I'll never be a gymnast or basketball player. I simply won't. I don't have the body type for either one of those sports and no matter how hard I try, I'll never alter my height to be tall enough or short enough. I've come to accept that reality because I have no desire to be either one of those things. But this. This thing, I really thought that maybe this might be up my alley. That maybe one day this might be an opportunity that God would offer me. That maybe, way down the line in a decade or so, I might be able to serve God in this manner because, until now, I really had no clue that the biggest disqualifier would be divorce. I thought to myself, "But what about the women who've had children outside of wedlock? What about the women who've had abortions? What about the women who've never been divorced but have not remained faithful? What about the women who have horrible marriages or wayward children? What is it about being divorced that makes someone unqualified?" But the truth is that, when it comes to being used by God, none of us are actually qualified.
I mulled it over, refusing to allow the enemy to have a foothold on this one. I've fought this battle time and time again for many, many years now and I know that if I give him a chance to discourage me, he'll take it in a heartbeat. Leaning against the bathroom wall in an over sized t-shirt, I told my husband about the news while he brushed his teeth before we got in bed. "Babe, I'm sorry to hear that. That's a bummer." I don't know why I felt the need to tell him, but I appreciated his comment. I suppose I really just needed to verbalized it to someone to get it off my chest. We laughed and made a few funny jokes to lighten the situation because, truth be told, it's really a wise decision made by Godly people who are concerned about keeping God's word and honoring it, and I don't think exceptions should be made.
I crawled into bed and the Lord whispered to my heart, "Just because it's not this opportunity doesn't mean you are disqualified from being used by me. You should know that by now. I have other things in store for you. I see, and I have always seen, your faithfulness. Divorce has nothing to do with that."
Timothy tells us that even "if we are faithless, He remains faithful for he cannot deny who He is." (2 Timothy 2:13) But here's the thing, friend, regardless of what we are going through, we always have the choice to remain faithful to God. Yes, even in the midst of a divorce, one can remain faithful. But should we fail or forget or get way off track, we know God never changes who He is. And just as He is faithful to lead us through the valleys of life, He is also faithful to use our biggest trials to usher in some of our biggest triumphs! And so no matter how we are used by God, it's a privilege to be used. And the beauty of seeking His kingdom's work is that He always has something for each of us to do!
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