grace that is greater than our very greatest sin...
I've had my nose stuck in the Old Testament for the last 6 months. I love it! In fact, I think it's my favorite half of the Bible... if I had to pick a half to favor, that is. I won't lie, it's a hard read. It's the majority of the Bible that we don't talk about, read books over, or hear many sermons preached on. And yet it is so rich. And so convicting. And I have to grapple with the text because we are living in the New Testament. We are a people enjoying the age of the dispensation of grace and so the New Testament is easier to quote and understand and swallow. But God has been using the Old Testament to open my eyes in many new ways and to challenge what I really believe.
David has been the focus for a while. David, the man after God's own heart. I've been studying his successes and failures, both of which are great, thus giving me encouragement as a mere human being. I can't really compare myself to David, as our lives are so different, but I can find many moments where I relate. Moments were I can understand why he did what he did and moments where I can sympathize for him because he was definitely stuck in a tough spot. But here's the thing about David. God chose him. Simple as that. God said, "You're going to be the anointed king of Israel and I'm going to make it happen." David didn't train or apply for the job. He was hand picked right from the fields and would have won the award for the least likely to be king. And then not only is he picked to be king but he has to go through years of chaos before it finally arrives. Yet God is faithful to his promises and He finally established David as king. King David. The people loved him. He was successful in all that he did. The Lord's favor was clearly resting upon him, and for as many times as David got it wrong, he got it right. Israel was fortunate to have him. They thrived under his leadership. He was unmatched and wildly famous and had everything a person could want. Looks, success, position, fortune, fame. Except there was one thing. This one thing belonged to someone else and since God didn't give it to him, David went ahead and took it for himself.
Bathsheba. We all know her and we all know she didn't belong to David. I've read the story a million times and I am almost positive I have probably blogged about it or at least referenced it sometime over the last 7 years. But I read it again this week and I was unsettled. I mulled over it, processed it, thought a lot about it, and I still couldn't come to grips with it. I think we sometimes fall into the trap of thinking we must simply read the Bible and keep our questions to ourselves. Either that or we just say, "that's a crazy story and I'm moving on to an easier read." But I was forced to stay there and chew on it for a while, and as is always the case, I do my best chewing through typing.
I don't understand David this time around. I can't relate. Have I sinned before? You bet. Have I faced temptation? Of course. I suppose we can all relate to David that way, but maybe I have a harder time with this text because I'm a woman. Or maybe a lot of the details hit really close to home and it's an area in which I struggle to show grace. And so maybe I'm not alone in this. Maybe you've thought the same things, too. And maybe you can share with me how you choose to reconcile this story, and I'll share with you what God has shown me.
2 Samuel 11 opens with a telling statement. David was not off at war with his men as a king should have been. He was at home, with time on his hands, and we all know what happens when we aren't where we should be doing what we need to. Rolling out of bed, in the cover of darkness, he paced the length of his roof. Does anyone else find that strange? Why would he be walking on the roof? That's the last thought I would have on a sleepless night. Anyhow, he saw her bathing and he stopped and he stared and it just went downhill from there. Did she put herself out there for him to see? I honestly don't think so. I do, however, think it's wise to close the curtains anytime you're in the buff. But I don't think Bathsheba was trying to be a temptress to David. I don't think she knew he was wandering around on the roof and could see her. And I really don't believe she expected to find a man knocking on her door and telling her she would be off to see the king.
So why did she agree? I've thought that before, too. But maybe she didn't agree. Maybe she really didn't want to go but did she have a choice? Remember, this is the most powerful man in the land. Do you think the messenger showed up and said, "Excuse me ma'am. The king watched you take a bath and thinks you're good looking. We all know you're married and that your husband is off at war. Would you like to come to the palace and sleep with the king?" Kings took what they wanted, when they wanted, and no one asked questions - especially when it involved women. Think back to Genesis when Abram and Sarai go to Egypt for the first time. Abram was so scared for his own life that he told his wife to lie about their relationship status. He knew Pharaoh would want her for himself because she was beautiful, and he was right. The same goes here. And the thing about David is that he had plenty of options. At the point, he had acquired for himself many wives and so it's not like the women were away battling, too. They were home, he wasn't alone, but David took the wife of a man for himself without a second thought.
Well, she gets pregnant. You know the story. David sends for her husband, Uriah, who turns out to be a really noble and upstanding character, and when I read about the kind of man Uriah was, it only makes me think that this who charade was only wanted by one person. And poor Uriah had no idea. He did absolutely nothing wrong. He was serving his king and country and just happened to have a beautiful wife. And rather than apologizing, and rather than confessing to Uriah and asking forgiveness, David had him killed. Killed for being a good man. Killed because David gave into temptation and couldn't control his flesh. And not only did Uriah get killed, but David's army commander had to plan out a suicide mission in order for it to happen. And so I think it's almost fair to say Uriah, the innocent and ignorant, was sacrificed for David's sin. I suppose apologies really are harder than they seem. But the Lord knew the whole time. From beginning to end, God saw it unfold and there came a point where God called David to the floor. David was confronted with his own sin which lead to the death of the child Bathsheba bore him. And, again, as I read this text my heart broke for this woman. She's a widow who lost a great man, is now married the king and become one of his many wives (and I'm not so sure she really wanted to or even had the option), and she loses what I presume to be her first child. Nine months of carrying this baby, delivering him, and a week later he's gone for a sin he didn't commit. And truth be told, when I read this account, it appears to me that Bathsheba really had no say in how her life was unfolding nor did she bring all of this misery upon herself.
I read this text and felt that everyone else suffered greatly for his sins while his personal consequences were minimal. He didn't lose his position, he gained a wife, ended up having another child, only a handful (at that time) of people were even aware of what happened, and by the end of the next chapter he is given credit and glory for showing up at the end of the battle to capture a city as a great warrior, leader, and king. I know life isn't going to get easier for David because I've read ahead, but at this point, it looks like he's getting away with murder.
Why, Lord? That was my question. I turned off the radio and as I drove, I processed. I asked questions. I admitted that I didn't understand or really even like how the story went. Because if I were the author, it wouldn't have played out that way. But I'm not. And I don't know all the details. I also don't know how the weight of regret hung over David for the remainder of his life, but I have to believe it did. God had cleansed him from his sin, but David wouldn't forget the damage he had caused to the lives of so many people. And as I prayed and asked and wondered aloud, the Lord reminded me that I don't have to understand how he deals with things but I must believe that He is just. That he is right. That he acts and deals with mankind accordingly. That a snippet of a story isn't the full story. And that life is messy and people get hurt but that doesn't diminish the power, justice, or fairness of God. It also doesn't deter his plan or discount his goodness.
None of us deserve God's grace or forgiveness. David didn't. I don't. You don't. Life is far from fair, and we have the enemy to thank for that. Bad things do happen to good people, and good people make bad mistakes. But God sees it all. God is aware of each second of our lives. And God will intervene. One day, all wrongs will be made right. One day, there won't be sin and suffering and temptation all around. But until that day comes, and even when it does, let us be thankful for God's grace that is greater than our very greatest sin.
David has been the focus for a while. David, the man after God's own heart. I've been studying his successes and failures, both of which are great, thus giving me encouragement as a mere human being. I can't really compare myself to David, as our lives are so different, but I can find many moments where I relate. Moments were I can understand why he did what he did and moments where I can sympathize for him because he was definitely stuck in a tough spot. But here's the thing about David. God chose him. Simple as that. God said, "You're going to be the anointed king of Israel and I'm going to make it happen." David didn't train or apply for the job. He was hand picked right from the fields and would have won the award for the least likely to be king. And then not only is he picked to be king but he has to go through years of chaos before it finally arrives. Yet God is faithful to his promises and He finally established David as king. King David. The people loved him. He was successful in all that he did. The Lord's favor was clearly resting upon him, and for as many times as David got it wrong, he got it right. Israel was fortunate to have him. They thrived under his leadership. He was unmatched and wildly famous and had everything a person could want. Looks, success, position, fortune, fame. Except there was one thing. This one thing belonged to someone else and since God didn't give it to him, David went ahead and took it for himself.
Bathsheba. We all know her and we all know she didn't belong to David. I've read the story a million times and I am almost positive I have probably blogged about it or at least referenced it sometime over the last 7 years. But I read it again this week and I was unsettled. I mulled over it, processed it, thought a lot about it, and I still couldn't come to grips with it. I think we sometimes fall into the trap of thinking we must simply read the Bible and keep our questions to ourselves. Either that or we just say, "that's a crazy story and I'm moving on to an easier read." But I was forced to stay there and chew on it for a while, and as is always the case, I do my best chewing through typing.
I don't understand David this time around. I can't relate. Have I sinned before? You bet. Have I faced temptation? Of course. I suppose we can all relate to David that way, but maybe I have a harder time with this text because I'm a woman. Or maybe a lot of the details hit really close to home and it's an area in which I struggle to show grace. And so maybe I'm not alone in this. Maybe you've thought the same things, too. And maybe you can share with me how you choose to reconcile this story, and I'll share with you what God has shown me.
2 Samuel 11 opens with a telling statement. David was not off at war with his men as a king should have been. He was at home, with time on his hands, and we all know what happens when we aren't where we should be doing what we need to. Rolling out of bed, in the cover of darkness, he paced the length of his roof. Does anyone else find that strange? Why would he be walking on the roof? That's the last thought I would have on a sleepless night. Anyhow, he saw her bathing and he stopped and he stared and it just went downhill from there. Did she put herself out there for him to see? I honestly don't think so. I do, however, think it's wise to close the curtains anytime you're in the buff. But I don't think Bathsheba was trying to be a temptress to David. I don't think she knew he was wandering around on the roof and could see her. And I really don't believe she expected to find a man knocking on her door and telling her she would be off to see the king.
So why did she agree? I've thought that before, too. But maybe she didn't agree. Maybe she really didn't want to go but did she have a choice? Remember, this is the most powerful man in the land. Do you think the messenger showed up and said, "Excuse me ma'am. The king watched you take a bath and thinks you're good looking. We all know you're married and that your husband is off at war. Would you like to come to the palace and sleep with the king?" Kings took what they wanted, when they wanted, and no one asked questions - especially when it involved women. Think back to Genesis when Abram and Sarai go to Egypt for the first time. Abram was so scared for his own life that he told his wife to lie about their relationship status. He knew Pharaoh would want her for himself because she was beautiful, and he was right. The same goes here. And the thing about David is that he had plenty of options. At the point, he had acquired for himself many wives and so it's not like the women were away battling, too. They were home, he wasn't alone, but David took the wife of a man for himself without a second thought.
Well, she gets pregnant. You know the story. David sends for her husband, Uriah, who turns out to be a really noble and upstanding character, and when I read about the kind of man Uriah was, it only makes me think that this who charade was only wanted by one person. And poor Uriah had no idea. He did absolutely nothing wrong. He was serving his king and country and just happened to have a beautiful wife. And rather than apologizing, and rather than confessing to Uriah and asking forgiveness, David had him killed. Killed for being a good man. Killed because David gave into temptation and couldn't control his flesh. And not only did Uriah get killed, but David's army commander had to plan out a suicide mission in order for it to happen. And so I think it's almost fair to say Uriah, the innocent and ignorant, was sacrificed for David's sin. I suppose apologies really are harder than they seem. But the Lord knew the whole time. From beginning to end, God saw it unfold and there came a point where God called David to the floor. David was confronted with his own sin which lead to the death of the child Bathsheba bore him. And, again, as I read this text my heart broke for this woman. She's a widow who lost a great man, is now married the king and become one of his many wives (and I'm not so sure she really wanted to or even had the option), and she loses what I presume to be her first child. Nine months of carrying this baby, delivering him, and a week later he's gone for a sin he didn't commit. And truth be told, when I read this account, it appears to me that Bathsheba really had no say in how her life was unfolding nor did she bring all of this misery upon herself.
I read this text and felt that everyone else suffered greatly for his sins while his personal consequences were minimal. He didn't lose his position, he gained a wife, ended up having another child, only a handful (at that time) of people were even aware of what happened, and by the end of the next chapter he is given credit and glory for showing up at the end of the battle to capture a city as a great warrior, leader, and king. I know life isn't going to get easier for David because I've read ahead, but at this point, it looks like he's getting away with murder.
Why, Lord? That was my question. I turned off the radio and as I drove, I processed. I asked questions. I admitted that I didn't understand or really even like how the story went. Because if I were the author, it wouldn't have played out that way. But I'm not. And I don't know all the details. I also don't know how the weight of regret hung over David for the remainder of his life, but I have to believe it did. God had cleansed him from his sin, but David wouldn't forget the damage he had caused to the lives of so many people. And as I prayed and asked and wondered aloud, the Lord reminded me that I don't have to understand how he deals with things but I must believe that He is just. That he is right. That he acts and deals with mankind accordingly. That a snippet of a story isn't the full story. And that life is messy and people get hurt but that doesn't diminish the power, justice, or fairness of God. It also doesn't deter his plan or discount his goodness.
None of us deserve God's grace or forgiveness. David didn't. I don't. You don't. Life is far from fair, and we have the enemy to thank for that. Bad things do happen to good people, and good people make bad mistakes. But God sees it all. God is aware of each second of our lives. And God will intervene. One day, all wrongs will be made right. One day, there won't be sin and suffering and temptation all around. But until that day comes, and even when it does, let us be thankful for God's grace that is greater than our very greatest sin.
Comments
Post a Comment