Valentine or not...
I don't buy into Valentine's Day, literally and figuratively speaking. You ain't getting any of my money, Hallmark. This consumer is too practical to spend a ridiculous amount of money on food, cards, or gifts that will all be marked down to half price the next day. In fact, if I was going to celebrate Valentine's Day, I would do it the day after. The day when all the restaurants are back to their normal wait times, food is priced as it should be, and everything else is BOGO! That's the smart way to do Valentine's Day, if you ask me. The day after.
It's a cynical perspective, I know. And you're probably thinking, "Poor girl, she must have had a really bad Valentine's Day experience that left her wounded and bitter." But I haven't. I haven't had a bad Valentine's Day. I also haven't had a remarkable one, either. In fact, there are two Valentine's Days that stand out in my 31 years of life. One of them for the sheer reason that I received flowers from someone who totally and completely surprised me because we weren't dating... and hadn't ever even gone on a date or spent much time together. And the other because I expected it to be a horrible day. It was, however, probably the "best" Valentine's Day in my book. It was during my season of recovery and healing. People often assume that going through a divorce is the worst part, but really it's after the divorce is finalized. Because that false hope one carries the entire trial separation is completely gone and you're undeniably alone... and lonely. I woke up that morning dreading work because I knew everyone would have a big bouquet of flowers on their desk but me. And because God is so good and has surrounded me with so many wonderful people, my day was filled with surprises - flowers included! A time of life that left me feeling most unloved was proven otherwise that day. I was very well loved.
And I think that's the problem with Valentine's Day. It's a day where people assume that if you don't get a gift, celebrate, or have a special someone, you're unloved. And if you have a special someone or receive a gift, you're loved. But let me tell you something, you can have a Valentine and be complete unloved and not have one and be well loved. This holiday rolls around every year solely as a capitalistic venture. A way to get people to spend money and make excuses. It really is the antithesis of true love. Because true love doesn't go all out and express itself one day a year. True love doesn't put it's best foot forward and make an effort when it's obligated to because the rest of the world is throwing pressure its way. Imagine if Aaron only treated me lovingly and kindly once a year by taking me to dinner and telling me nice and cheesy things and that was it. Every year I'd have to wait until that one day came around to feel loved. That one day that is, mind you, not really a day that is uniquely special to me but just a made up day by someone who was looking to make a buck. And what if, one day a year, I got dressed up for Aaron and threw in some romance. And the other 364 days I was a real troll and did nothing thoughtful to make him feel appreciated. Would that be proof that we truly, madly loved one another? Would that be a sign of a strong and special relationship? Would you be envious of us and consider that #relationshipgoals?
I forewarned Aaron of my distaste for Valentine's Day the first year it rolled around for us. We were three months away from our wedding date and he did not believe me. I suppose he felt that I was setting a "trap" for him by saying one thing but expecting another. It took a few years to make him a believer and I think he was shocked when he put me to the test and found out I meant what I said. Because true love doesn't come with roses and chocolate and oversized bears. It isn't proven through jewelry, fine wines, fancy dinners, or lacy unmentionables. In fact, true love doesn't even include any of those things. It's not bought, it's sacrificed. 1 John 3:16 says, "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters." And so we know that true love isn't going to be discovered in the card section at the store or at the florist's shop. True love isn't going to be discovered through unrealistic expectations that are set by the world. True love is going to be found in the pages of scripture. In the sacrifices we make for others. In the ways we daily serve and honor one another, and in the ways we speak and think and act.
And so regardless of what your plans are today, whether you have a Valentine or not, you can rest assured that you are deeply loved - not just today, but every day!
It's a cynical perspective, I know. And you're probably thinking, "Poor girl, she must have had a really bad Valentine's Day experience that left her wounded and bitter." But I haven't. I haven't had a bad Valentine's Day. I also haven't had a remarkable one, either. In fact, there are two Valentine's Days that stand out in my 31 years of life. One of them for the sheer reason that I received flowers from someone who totally and completely surprised me because we weren't dating... and hadn't ever even gone on a date or spent much time together. And the other because I expected it to be a horrible day. It was, however, probably the "best" Valentine's Day in my book. It was during my season of recovery and healing. People often assume that going through a divorce is the worst part, but really it's after the divorce is finalized. Because that false hope one carries the entire trial separation is completely gone and you're undeniably alone... and lonely. I woke up that morning dreading work because I knew everyone would have a big bouquet of flowers on their desk but me. And because God is so good and has surrounded me with so many wonderful people, my day was filled with surprises - flowers included! A time of life that left me feeling most unloved was proven otherwise that day. I was very well loved.
And I think that's the problem with Valentine's Day. It's a day where people assume that if you don't get a gift, celebrate, or have a special someone, you're unloved. And if you have a special someone or receive a gift, you're loved. But let me tell you something, you can have a Valentine and be complete unloved and not have one and be well loved. This holiday rolls around every year solely as a capitalistic venture. A way to get people to spend money and make excuses. It really is the antithesis of true love. Because true love doesn't go all out and express itself one day a year. True love doesn't put it's best foot forward and make an effort when it's obligated to because the rest of the world is throwing pressure its way. Imagine if Aaron only treated me lovingly and kindly once a year by taking me to dinner and telling me nice and cheesy things and that was it. Every year I'd have to wait until that one day came around to feel loved. That one day that is, mind you, not really a day that is uniquely special to me but just a made up day by someone who was looking to make a buck. And what if, one day a year, I got dressed up for Aaron and threw in some romance. And the other 364 days I was a real troll and did nothing thoughtful to make him feel appreciated. Would that be proof that we truly, madly loved one another? Would that be a sign of a strong and special relationship? Would you be envious of us and consider that #relationshipgoals?
I forewarned Aaron of my distaste for Valentine's Day the first year it rolled around for us. We were three months away from our wedding date and he did not believe me. I suppose he felt that I was setting a "trap" for him by saying one thing but expecting another. It took a few years to make him a believer and I think he was shocked when he put me to the test and found out I meant what I said. Because true love doesn't come with roses and chocolate and oversized bears. It isn't proven through jewelry, fine wines, fancy dinners, or lacy unmentionables. In fact, true love doesn't even include any of those things. It's not bought, it's sacrificed. 1 John 3:16 says, "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters." And so we know that true love isn't going to be discovered in the card section at the store or at the florist's shop. True love isn't going to be discovered through unrealistic expectations that are set by the world. True love is going to be found in the pages of scripture. In the sacrifices we make for others. In the ways we daily serve and honor one another, and in the ways we speak and think and act.
And so regardless of what your plans are today, whether you have a Valentine or not, you can rest assured that you are deeply loved - not just today, but every day!
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