trash...
Trash piled up behind me on the kitchen floor. I heard a crash and turned around to see dinner's leftovers, old coffee grounds, and a disgusting array of trash strewn across the floor. The can was full, ready and waiting to be emptied out. "Don't mess with the trash," we said. "Leave it alone." Warning after warning as I dug ice cream out of the freezer. I obviously wasn't moving at the pace you wanted. Honestly, I'm really not sure what you were thinking or why you decided to act upon your frustration in such a way. I was trying. I was attempting to dish up my leftover Oreo Blast into a bowl so you could have "my owns" as you always say, but I guess you were tired of waiting. Frustrated with my performance. And so you shoved the trash can over and the minute it hit the floor you knew you had made a poor decision.
Luckily, for you, your dad was the only one who full witnessed the incident and he was holding your baby sister. I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt hoping that maybe you accidentally bumped into the can. But no, you shoved it. Out of pure frustration, or maybe rebellion, you knocked the whole thing over without giving it a second thought. I realized most two year olds don't typically think before they act. That's a learned behavior. And as your dad and I both looked sternly in your direction you said, "It's okay! Don't be mad! It's okay."
"You're going to pick every piece of trash up and put it back in the can right now." You didn't protest. Clearly, you knew this was not a game and obedience was going to be your saving grace. You quickly squatted down next to the pile of trash and your tiny hands began picking up the nasty mess and dropping it back in the can where it belonged. You're not to the age yet where you're grossed out by much. In fact, I can't think of anything that grosses you out. You found a Cheerio in the mess of trash and popped it in your mouth. Yuck! Your dad and I watched you handle all the mess on your own, fully understanding how disgusting it was, and as I stood over your little body, tiny hands scraping up a mess, my heart ached. I wanted to do it for you. I wanted to set you aside and clean up the mess myself because two year olds should not be handling trash. But I also knew this was a consequence you needed to endure so you'd understand why we don't knock over trash cans and, hopefully, not do it again in the future. Most of the time our best lessons are learned through personal experience, and personal experience can be a messy thing to work through.
You managed to get all of the large pieces back into the can and I bent down next to you to sweep up the coffee grounds and unidentifiable crumbs with a broom. It was going to take more than your tiny hands to get those cleaned up, and you aren't able to manage a broom well so I did it for you. Sure, it was your mess but I've learned that the best way to enter into a mess is with grace. How have I learned this? Well, because I've done my fair share of mess making and when I have found myself knee deep in "trash" I have always been met with grace.
"I waited patiently for the Lord.
He turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
Out of the mud and mire,
He set my feet on a rock
And gave me a firm place to stand."
Psalm 40:1-2
Life gets messy, Annabeth, and many times we're the ones making said mess for ourselves. And there's this saying that "you got yourself into this mess, you can get yourself out." But that's not always the best tactic. The "get yourself out" part. Because sometimes you don't know the way out. Maybe you had an idea of what you were getting yourself into, but I've been in messes in which I didn't foresee before I took the plunge. Sometimes they were of my own doing, and sometimes they were made by others. The words above were written by David, and he was quite the mess-maker, himself. I won't go into details for the sake of time, but David's life got out of control and at his messiest, ugliest moments, he turned to God for help. And you know what, each time he turned to God for help, God helped. He had consequences for his actions, but he also had God's grace to get him through it. That's what he needed, too, you know. Grace. Because David knew he had done wrong. He knew he messed up big time. He knew he was totally out of line and that he deserved wrath for what he had done. God did not have to help him. And truthfully, it's hard to ask for help when we know we've messed up. We tend to think that God must be so mad at us he won't even lend an ear our way. Shame and guilt tell us that we don't deserve help or grace and pride tells us that we can fix it on our own. But I'm telling you that the only way we can really get out of the messes of life is with the help of God, and God is faithful to lift us out of slimy pit when we cry out to him for help.
The trash can incident in the kitchen gave me a better understanding of God's love for his children. It really broke my heart to see you deal with the mess you made because 1.) it was gross 2.) I knew it was an irrational decision on your part and 3.) I knew I could clean it up better than you would be able to, and that's why I stood at your side ready and prepared with a broom. You didn't ask for my help, but I could see that you needed it and because I love you so much, I was glad to step in. And if I, your sinful mother, feel that way about you, then you can only imagine how much God loves you and desires to help you. And not just clean up the mess and move on, but to set your feet on a rock, a firm place, a good place. To help you, teach you, and then move you on past the pit to higher ground.
Don't be afraid to ask for help, Annabeth. Don't feel that you've ever made any mess too big that you can't cry out to God. Don't believe the lie that He won't hear you and won't help you. And don't try to manage it on your own. He sees, Annabeth. He knows. Not telling Him, not crying out to Him, doesn't mean that He is unaware. But He isn't going to force his help on you if you don't want it. He won't lift you out of a pit if you choose to stay and wallow there. But if you will call on Him, if you will believe His word, if you will humble yourself and place your trust in Him, He won't fail you. He will do the lifting if you'll let him. And as he washes off the slime, the mud, and the mire, you will emerge stronger, wiser, and even more in love with our God who isn't afraid to stoop down into our mess and lavish us with His grace when we least deserve it.
Luckily, for you, your dad was the only one who full witnessed the incident and he was holding your baby sister. I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt hoping that maybe you accidentally bumped into the can. But no, you shoved it. Out of pure frustration, or maybe rebellion, you knocked the whole thing over without giving it a second thought. I realized most two year olds don't typically think before they act. That's a learned behavior. And as your dad and I both looked sternly in your direction you said, "It's okay! Don't be mad! It's okay."
"You're going to pick every piece of trash up and put it back in the can right now." You didn't protest. Clearly, you knew this was not a game and obedience was going to be your saving grace. You quickly squatted down next to the pile of trash and your tiny hands began picking up the nasty mess and dropping it back in the can where it belonged. You're not to the age yet where you're grossed out by much. In fact, I can't think of anything that grosses you out. You found a Cheerio in the mess of trash and popped it in your mouth. Yuck! Your dad and I watched you handle all the mess on your own, fully understanding how disgusting it was, and as I stood over your little body, tiny hands scraping up a mess, my heart ached. I wanted to do it for you. I wanted to set you aside and clean up the mess myself because two year olds should not be handling trash. But I also knew this was a consequence you needed to endure so you'd understand why we don't knock over trash cans and, hopefully, not do it again in the future. Most of the time our best lessons are learned through personal experience, and personal experience can be a messy thing to work through.
You managed to get all of the large pieces back into the can and I bent down next to you to sweep up the coffee grounds and unidentifiable crumbs with a broom. It was going to take more than your tiny hands to get those cleaned up, and you aren't able to manage a broom well so I did it for you. Sure, it was your mess but I've learned that the best way to enter into a mess is with grace. How have I learned this? Well, because I've done my fair share of mess making and when I have found myself knee deep in "trash" I have always been met with grace.
"I waited patiently for the Lord.
He turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
Out of the mud and mire,
He set my feet on a rock
And gave me a firm place to stand."
Psalm 40:1-2
Life gets messy, Annabeth, and many times we're the ones making said mess for ourselves. And there's this saying that "you got yourself into this mess, you can get yourself out." But that's not always the best tactic. The "get yourself out" part. Because sometimes you don't know the way out. Maybe you had an idea of what you were getting yourself into, but I've been in messes in which I didn't foresee before I took the plunge. Sometimes they were of my own doing, and sometimes they were made by others. The words above were written by David, and he was quite the mess-maker, himself. I won't go into details for the sake of time, but David's life got out of control and at his messiest, ugliest moments, he turned to God for help. And you know what, each time he turned to God for help, God helped. He had consequences for his actions, but he also had God's grace to get him through it. That's what he needed, too, you know. Grace. Because David knew he had done wrong. He knew he messed up big time. He knew he was totally out of line and that he deserved wrath for what he had done. God did not have to help him. And truthfully, it's hard to ask for help when we know we've messed up. We tend to think that God must be so mad at us he won't even lend an ear our way. Shame and guilt tell us that we don't deserve help or grace and pride tells us that we can fix it on our own. But I'm telling you that the only way we can really get out of the messes of life is with the help of God, and God is faithful to lift us out of slimy pit when we cry out to him for help.
The trash can incident in the kitchen gave me a better understanding of God's love for his children. It really broke my heart to see you deal with the mess you made because 1.) it was gross 2.) I knew it was an irrational decision on your part and 3.) I knew I could clean it up better than you would be able to, and that's why I stood at your side ready and prepared with a broom. You didn't ask for my help, but I could see that you needed it and because I love you so much, I was glad to step in. And if I, your sinful mother, feel that way about you, then you can only imagine how much God loves you and desires to help you. And not just clean up the mess and move on, but to set your feet on a rock, a firm place, a good place. To help you, teach you, and then move you on past the pit to higher ground.
Don't be afraid to ask for help, Annabeth. Don't feel that you've ever made any mess too big that you can't cry out to God. Don't believe the lie that He won't hear you and won't help you. And don't try to manage it on your own. He sees, Annabeth. He knows. Not telling Him, not crying out to Him, doesn't mean that He is unaware. But He isn't going to force his help on you if you don't want it. He won't lift you out of a pit if you choose to stay and wallow there. But if you will call on Him, if you will believe His word, if you will humble yourself and place your trust in Him, He won't fail you. He will do the lifting if you'll let him. And as he washes off the slime, the mud, and the mire, you will emerge stronger, wiser, and even more in love with our God who isn't afraid to stoop down into our mess and lavish us with His grace when we least deserve it.
Comments
Post a Comment