peace...
Had you come when you were supposed to, today would have been your birthday, Madelyn. Fortunately for us, we got to meet you three weeks early. Honestly, I was so relieved you came at 37 weeks. I was miserable, my health was going downhill quickly, and I certainly didn't want to jeopardize the health of either one of us. I was going to the doctor frequently because my blood pressure was rising. She warned me that you would have to come early if it didn't stop, and so I went in on a Wednesday afternoon for one more check and she said, "Well, I'll see you at the hospital on Friday afternoon to have your baby!" I was more than glad to get you here despite the many items on my "to-do" list that were still pending. And, although I didn't realize it at the time, God was bringing you in a few weeks early to redeem March for me. March is a month packed full of so many memories, but your arrival supersedes them all, and is one that brings me great joy!
I am three weeks late writing to you because I took a break from social media for the Lent season, which ends today. Little did I know, my social media fast would turn into a bigger social fast due to a global pandemic that spread into our country a few weeks later. We've been stuck at home for weeks now, and it's felt more like months. It's an odd situation, really. This isn't the first pandemic and probably won't be the last, unfortunately. But because it's a new virus, our country has basically stopped moving and encouraged everyone to stay at home. It hasn't disrupted our lives too much since I stay home with you and Annabeth anyway, but we haven't been able to attend church or BSF... or go anywhere aside from the store, so we're getting a lot of personal family time around here.
Enough about the crazy season we're in. That's all anyone seems to talk about these days, and I don't want to bore you with it, so let's talk about you. About the fact that you have made it through your first year of life and are moving rapidly towards toddler-hood! I can hardly believe it! We've yet to have your first birthday party, all due to social distancing, and I was a little bummed about that. WE did, however, treat you to your first ice cream cone and you gladly ate the whole thing! Don't worry, we'll have a party as soon as we can. I know you won't remember it, but I will. And as a mom, the first birthday is just as big of a deal for me as it is for you. Having a newborn is like white water rafting. Seriously. It's fast, wild, bumpy, and a rush of emotions. And so the first birthday is like a little victory! We made it through year one! Alive and happy, too! You seemed to enjoy the ride. You're so delightful and happy. You have really strong emotions and an expressive little face. You giggle and laugh and smile all the time. You still love napping, a girl after my own heart. And you LOVE to eat! Your dad and I get a kick out of watching you at meal time. You started crawling at 11 months and love your new found freedom. You also carry a deep affection for Annabeth and want to be anywhere she is, attempting to do whatever she's doing. You're a strong little gal - kind of rough, so we have to keep an eye on you. You love to pull hair and pinch and claw your way around people, all with a smile on your face. We're trying to work on that. You enjoy your walker and run circles around the back porch, squealing with glee. You are becoming more and more vocal every day, but Annabeth still takes the cake when it comes to talking. You're clever and smart and a little tease, too. You're a precious, beautiful girl, and I am constantly thanking God for giving me two wonderful daughters. I always hoped I'd be a girl-mom, so you and Annabeth are my dream come true!
I wondered what I would write about for your first birthday, but today has been one for the books and so it was no question as to what I would share with you. We celebrated Easter today, and for the first time in my life, we celebrated it at home. I have been alive 32 years, and every year I have spent Easter in church. Of course, we go to church every Sunday, so it's been very odd to stay home on Sunday mornings. It really throws the week off and I almost feel like we're living in some sort of strange time warp where every day is the same. Anyway, we had a special Easter breakfast while watching church online. If we can't be there in person, it's the next best thing. We're extremely privileged to live in a place where we get to attend church freely, multiple times a week. But as many of us have mourned the absence of a physical church gathering, I thought about how very similar this Easter is to the first Easter that was celebrated.
It was a Friday when they hung him on the cross. His followers didn't really believe this was how it was supposed to happen. They wanted an earthly king to lead them, but all he ever spoke of was a heavenly kingdom. And as they watched his lifeless body being removed from the cursed tree on which he hung, gaping wounds on his blood covered body, their hearts sank in despair. He was laid in a dark, cold tomb, and it appeared that all was lost. If that's what happened to their leader, then they could only imagine what might be in store for them. And so they found themselves gathered behind locked doors. Filled with fear, worry, doubt, anxiety. They certainly weren't spending their Easter weekend at church.
Many people are filled with the same emotions, Madelyn, as this pandemic has wrecked havoc on our society in various ways. People are sitting home behind locked doors with fear of going out into the world because they don't know what might happen. They are filled with worry and doubt and anxiety, and it all seems reasonable, too. Just like the disciples. No one could blame them for feeling afraid. It was a normal human response. But that was the very problem. It was a completely human response. There was no ounce of faith shown in how they were reacting to their current crisis. Jesus has been warning them about this for years. And he told them exactly what would happen. He also spoke of great promises, which seemed to be the furthest things from their minds at the time. And as they huddled together, attempting to draw security from their small group gathering, locked in an obscure hiding place, he showed up.
"Peace be with you." - John 20:19
The Prince of Peace was standing in their midst. Alive and victorious. They didn't have to be afraid any longer. Fear, worry, doubt, anxiety - it all melted away. In fact, the Bible says they were overjoyed when they saw him. I can imagine they certainly were! A crisis hadn't been averted, it had been conquered. Jesus held the victory, and they were receiving the spoils of indescribable peace.
Madelyn, this world is anything but a peaceful place. It's loud and distracting, and frankly, has nothing good to offer you. It'll gladly give you heaps of worry, doubt, fear, failure, anxiety, stress, darkness, depression, anger, jealousy, discontentment, hatred, envy, strife, and deceit all in great measure. It'll let you down and disappoint you and attempt to crush you on all sides. But in the midst of it all, Jesus brings you peace. No matter where you are, He will show up and greet you with peace. He gets it. He's felt it. He experienced it. So He knows.
I can testify to the truth of his peace, Madelyn. It's real. It's abundant. It's generous. And it's like no other. It does surpass all human understanding and is very hard to explain to someone who doesn't know Him. It just is. Just like He is. It's there for the taking. It abides. It remains. And it given freely to all of God's children no matter the circumstances, no matter the situation. A precious gift. A reliable promise forever.
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you a the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." - John 14:27
I am three weeks late writing to you because I took a break from social media for the Lent season, which ends today. Little did I know, my social media fast would turn into a bigger social fast due to a global pandemic that spread into our country a few weeks later. We've been stuck at home for weeks now, and it's felt more like months. It's an odd situation, really. This isn't the first pandemic and probably won't be the last, unfortunately. But because it's a new virus, our country has basically stopped moving and encouraged everyone to stay at home. It hasn't disrupted our lives too much since I stay home with you and Annabeth anyway, but we haven't been able to attend church or BSF... or go anywhere aside from the store, so we're getting a lot of personal family time around here.
Enough about the crazy season we're in. That's all anyone seems to talk about these days, and I don't want to bore you with it, so let's talk about you. About the fact that you have made it through your first year of life and are moving rapidly towards toddler-hood! I can hardly believe it! We've yet to have your first birthday party, all due to social distancing, and I was a little bummed about that. WE did, however, treat you to your first ice cream cone and you gladly ate the whole thing! Don't worry, we'll have a party as soon as we can. I know you won't remember it, but I will. And as a mom, the first birthday is just as big of a deal for me as it is for you. Having a newborn is like white water rafting. Seriously. It's fast, wild, bumpy, and a rush of emotions. And so the first birthday is like a little victory! We made it through year one! Alive and happy, too! You seemed to enjoy the ride. You're so delightful and happy. You have really strong emotions and an expressive little face. You giggle and laugh and smile all the time. You still love napping, a girl after my own heart. And you LOVE to eat! Your dad and I get a kick out of watching you at meal time. You started crawling at 11 months and love your new found freedom. You also carry a deep affection for Annabeth and want to be anywhere she is, attempting to do whatever she's doing. You're a strong little gal - kind of rough, so we have to keep an eye on you. You love to pull hair and pinch and claw your way around people, all with a smile on your face. We're trying to work on that. You enjoy your walker and run circles around the back porch, squealing with glee. You are becoming more and more vocal every day, but Annabeth still takes the cake when it comes to talking. You're clever and smart and a little tease, too. You're a precious, beautiful girl, and I am constantly thanking God for giving me two wonderful daughters. I always hoped I'd be a girl-mom, so you and Annabeth are my dream come true!
I wondered what I would write about for your first birthday, but today has been one for the books and so it was no question as to what I would share with you. We celebrated Easter today, and for the first time in my life, we celebrated it at home. I have been alive 32 years, and every year I have spent Easter in church. Of course, we go to church every Sunday, so it's been very odd to stay home on Sunday mornings. It really throws the week off and I almost feel like we're living in some sort of strange time warp where every day is the same. Anyway, we had a special Easter breakfast while watching church online. If we can't be there in person, it's the next best thing. We're extremely privileged to live in a place where we get to attend church freely, multiple times a week. But as many of us have mourned the absence of a physical church gathering, I thought about how very similar this Easter is to the first Easter that was celebrated.
It was a Friday when they hung him on the cross. His followers didn't really believe this was how it was supposed to happen. They wanted an earthly king to lead them, but all he ever spoke of was a heavenly kingdom. And as they watched his lifeless body being removed from the cursed tree on which he hung, gaping wounds on his blood covered body, their hearts sank in despair. He was laid in a dark, cold tomb, and it appeared that all was lost. If that's what happened to their leader, then they could only imagine what might be in store for them. And so they found themselves gathered behind locked doors. Filled with fear, worry, doubt, anxiety. They certainly weren't spending their Easter weekend at church.
Many people are filled with the same emotions, Madelyn, as this pandemic has wrecked havoc on our society in various ways. People are sitting home behind locked doors with fear of going out into the world because they don't know what might happen. They are filled with worry and doubt and anxiety, and it all seems reasonable, too. Just like the disciples. No one could blame them for feeling afraid. It was a normal human response. But that was the very problem. It was a completely human response. There was no ounce of faith shown in how they were reacting to their current crisis. Jesus has been warning them about this for years. And he told them exactly what would happen. He also spoke of great promises, which seemed to be the furthest things from their minds at the time. And as they huddled together, attempting to draw security from their small group gathering, locked in an obscure hiding place, he showed up.
"Peace be with you." - John 20:19
The Prince of Peace was standing in their midst. Alive and victorious. They didn't have to be afraid any longer. Fear, worry, doubt, anxiety - it all melted away. In fact, the Bible says they were overjoyed when they saw him. I can imagine they certainly were! A crisis hadn't been averted, it had been conquered. Jesus held the victory, and they were receiving the spoils of indescribable peace.
Madelyn, this world is anything but a peaceful place. It's loud and distracting, and frankly, has nothing good to offer you. It'll gladly give you heaps of worry, doubt, fear, failure, anxiety, stress, darkness, depression, anger, jealousy, discontentment, hatred, envy, strife, and deceit all in great measure. It'll let you down and disappoint you and attempt to crush you on all sides. But in the midst of it all, Jesus brings you peace. No matter where you are, He will show up and greet you with peace. He gets it. He's felt it. He experienced it. So He knows.
I can testify to the truth of his peace, Madelyn. It's real. It's abundant. It's generous. And it's like no other. It does surpass all human understanding and is very hard to explain to someone who doesn't know Him. It just is. Just like He is. It's there for the taking. It abides. It remains. And it given freely to all of God's children no matter the circumstances, no matter the situation. A precious gift. A reliable promise forever.
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you a the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." - John 14:27
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