to run to God or to run from Him... that is the question...
My last blog was about Hannah. Hannah, Hannah, bo-banna... I wonder if anyone ever called her that. I doubt it, but for some reason, every time I hear the name Hannah, those words immediately follow. Anyway, Hannah's story has taught, and is teaching, me a lot. A lot about marriage, about motherhood, and about being a woman of great faith. And who couldn't use a few lessons in those areas?
So we talked about Hannah as the wife the other day. About how marriage is two people. Always. Through the mountains and valleys, you both travel. And as I read Hannah's story, I came across this little nugget.
There was a man named Elkanah who lived in Ramah... He had two wives, Hannah and Peninnah. Peninnah had children while Hannah did not. Each year Elkanah and his family would travel to Shiloh to worship and sacrifice to the Lord...
Once when they were at Shiloh, Hannah went over to the tabernacle after supper to pray to the Lord... As she was praying to the Lord, Eli watched her. Seeing her lips moving but hearing no sound, he thought she had been drinking... She replied, "I am not drunk! But I am very sad, and I was pouring out my heart to the Lord." (1 Samuel 1:1-15)
Persistent. That was Hannah. Every year. Every barren year. Every year her heart's desire went unmet, she found herself worshipping and sacrificing to the Lord. And what a testament of her faith! Because, let's be honest, when we don't get what we want, when we've been holding out for one thing or another, how often do we fall on our faces before the Lord and worship Him? It seems that we're quick to be angry. To be resentful. To run from Him. To be mad at Him. Lord, if you don't give me what I want, then fine. I'm just not going to church anymore. I'm not going to seek you anymore. If you loved me, you'd answer my prayers, so until then we're done talking. That's how we usually respond, isn't it? And that's exactly what the enemy is hoping for. Dear one, don't you ever believe that God's love for you is only shown and proven by answering your prayers in the exact way and the exact time you're wanting. God's love for you is contingent upon nothing. He loves you because He created you. It's that simple. It doesn't mean He loves you less if things aren't going your way. God loved Hannah dearly. And it seems that Hannah chose to believe it. She chose to persevere and seek God despite the trials she endured. It seems that Hannah understood that running to God, rather than away from God, was the best choice she could make. After all, if He's our only hope, then it only makes sense that we'd cling to Him.
So Hannah poured out her heart. Psalm 62:8 says, "Trust him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge." Sound advice. Truth. And that's what Hannah did. And she didn't care. She didn't care who witnessed her sorrow. She didn't care how odd she may have looked to the passerby. She wasn't concerned about what other people were thinking. She was broken and she knew where to find healing. She wasn't afraid to admit that she was sad. That her heart was heavy. And why should she have been? After all, God's people are not exempt from heartbreak or trials, and pretending that we've got it all together benefits no one. And so Hannah let it out. She poured her heart out at the feet of the Lord and she left it there. And you know what, He heard her.
Whether or not God ever allowed Hannah to have a child of her own is not the point of the story right now. Because God can fill the desires of our heart in many ways, and the primary way is with His presence. With his assurance and peace - the kind that surpasses all understanding. The peace that says, "You know what, this isn't really how I was hoping things would turn out, but God is sufficient and I am trusting that He has a good plan. And so I am seeking Him to seek Him. Not so that He'll give me what I want but because He satisfies. He hears me. He knows me. And He is my refuge."
So we talked about Hannah as the wife the other day. About how marriage is two people. Always. Through the mountains and valleys, you both travel. And as I read Hannah's story, I came across this little nugget.
There was a man named Elkanah who lived in Ramah... He had two wives, Hannah and Peninnah. Peninnah had children while Hannah did not. Each year Elkanah and his family would travel to Shiloh to worship and sacrifice to the Lord...
Once when they were at Shiloh, Hannah went over to the tabernacle after supper to pray to the Lord... As she was praying to the Lord, Eli watched her. Seeing her lips moving but hearing no sound, he thought she had been drinking... She replied, "I am not drunk! But I am very sad, and I was pouring out my heart to the Lord." (1 Samuel 1:1-15)
Persistent. That was Hannah. Every year. Every barren year. Every year her heart's desire went unmet, she found herself worshipping and sacrificing to the Lord. And what a testament of her faith! Because, let's be honest, when we don't get what we want, when we've been holding out for one thing or another, how often do we fall on our faces before the Lord and worship Him? It seems that we're quick to be angry. To be resentful. To run from Him. To be mad at Him. Lord, if you don't give me what I want, then fine. I'm just not going to church anymore. I'm not going to seek you anymore. If you loved me, you'd answer my prayers, so until then we're done talking. That's how we usually respond, isn't it? And that's exactly what the enemy is hoping for. Dear one, don't you ever believe that God's love for you is only shown and proven by answering your prayers in the exact way and the exact time you're wanting. God's love for you is contingent upon nothing. He loves you because He created you. It's that simple. It doesn't mean He loves you less if things aren't going your way. God loved Hannah dearly. And it seems that Hannah chose to believe it. She chose to persevere and seek God despite the trials she endured. It seems that Hannah understood that running to God, rather than away from God, was the best choice she could make. After all, if He's our only hope, then it only makes sense that we'd cling to Him.
So Hannah poured out her heart. Psalm 62:8 says, "Trust him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge." Sound advice. Truth. And that's what Hannah did. And she didn't care. She didn't care who witnessed her sorrow. She didn't care how odd she may have looked to the passerby. She wasn't concerned about what other people were thinking. She was broken and she knew where to find healing. She wasn't afraid to admit that she was sad. That her heart was heavy. And why should she have been? After all, God's people are not exempt from heartbreak or trials, and pretending that we've got it all together benefits no one. And so Hannah let it out. She poured her heart out at the feet of the Lord and she left it there. And you know what, He heard her.
Whether or not God ever allowed Hannah to have a child of her own is not the point of the story right now. Because God can fill the desires of our heart in many ways, and the primary way is with His presence. With his assurance and peace - the kind that surpasses all understanding. The peace that says, "You know what, this isn't really how I was hoping things would turn out, but God is sufficient and I am trusting that He has a good plan. And so I am seeking Him to seek Him. Not so that He'll give me what I want but because He satisfies. He hears me. He knows me. And He is my refuge."
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