when it feels like it's "just you"... it's not...
Summer, you're flying by. Seriously. Stop. Slow down just a smidge. June flew by, and July is speeding on, too. We just got back from Boston last night, and we had a great week. A fast week! I am certain we walked a hundred miles, but we saw a lot of great things. And more than that, we got to spend a full week together, which is what we needed. June was a booger of a month, requiring Aaron and I to spend a lot of time apart, and so I looked forward to having him to myself 24 hours a day for a week. After all, these days are dwindling, and we wanted to make sure we squeezed in one more vacation before the Davis Duo becomes a trio. Marriage is one of the sweetest gifts God has given me, and as mentioned in a previous post, I have really tried to make the most of "us" as I can. Annabeth will be the next best thing to happen to us, but you better believe we will not be lugging Sugar Bug on a week long vacation for many years! That sounds more like work than fun!
We drove to Houston last Saturday to begin our trip, and we went to church on Sunday with my cousins. I could not wait to go to church. I missed two weeks in a row thanks to an out of town work trip and a stomach bug, and my heart was aching to be back amongst believers reveling in God's word. The Sunday school lesson was over motherhood and highlighted Hannah. I love reading stories of women in the Bible. Sometimes it seems a little unfair that those stories are far and few between, but God certainly went above and beyond in using women to accomplish incredible things so that His perfect plan could be fulfilled. Anyway, the class discussion was incredible, and the Lord taught me many wonderful things about Hannah this time that I had never considered before. Many things I want to write about, too. And so I wanted to highlight Hannah tonight, but not in the context of motherhood. Rather, I want to highlight Hannah as a wife.
So here's the deal with Hannah. She's married and longing for a child, but she's barren. To make matters worse, her husband has another wife (a story I'm not going to get into now) who has children. So insult to injury, right? It's certainly not easy to see others possess the things your heart so desperately wants, is it? And the thing is, Hannah has no control over this situation. She can't do anything to fix it or change it. The Bible is full of stories of people who have tried to force God's hand (not to mention any names but read about Sarah and Abraham when it comes to creating a family), and that's the thing about trying to force our will over God's. It doesn't work out well no matter how well intended we are. And so Hannah is visibly depressed. She has stopped eating. She is consumed with the reality that motherhood may not be in the cards for her, and her husband notices.
“Why are you crying, Hannah?” Elkanah would ask. “Why aren’t you eating? Why be downhearted just because you have no children? You have me—isn’t that better than having ten sons?” - 1 Samuel 1:8
Generally, men are fixers. They want to find a solution. Offer a fix. Elkanah had been giving Hannah a double portion of food, seeing that she wasn't eating. He could tell his wife was struggling. He saw that she was hurting. And he knew why. He knew she longed for a child. Something, unfortunately, that he couldn't fix, either. Something, I am certain, he desired to give her. After all, no child for Hannah meant no child for Elkanah. This wasn't just affecting Hannah. This was affecting her husband, too. And that's the thing about challenges and struggles in life. It can often feel like we're the only one going through it. But we're not. Our families, our friends, the people who love us, they're experiencing it on some level as well.
I'll never forget walking through my deepest valley and although I felt like I was the only one truly hurting, that no one else could understand, that wasn't the case. I wasn't sleeping, I wasn't eating, I was questioning, my heart was filled with doubt, and I wasn't the only one. And so we're remiss to think that it's "just us." And as Hannah hurt, so did her husband. Maybe he was sad about not having a child, or maybe his heart hurt because he felt like no matter what he did, no matter how much he tried, he couldn't fulfill his wife's heart's desire. A helpless spot to be.
Here's the thing about marriage - it's both of you in all things. In the good things and in the bad things. Two become one and you both experience life's challenges. You both get to celebrate the good things, and you're both affected by the difficult things. Your hearts break together just as they can be healed together. And that's the gift of marriage. That when you feel alone, you're not. You have someone to cry with you. Someone to encourage you. Someone to distract you, help you, take your mind off your troubles, or carry the burden. But you have to make the choice to do it together. To let them in, include them, consider them. Even if you don't understand, or even if they don't understand, to understand that regardless of how you feel, or how they feel, that you're in this together. After all, knowing you have support, knowing you have someone who cares about you and wants the best for you, is a precious thing. Something that we can easily take for granted.
Hannah's story doesn't end here. God has more in store for she and Elkanah, and that's always the case. There's more than we know, more than we can see. But thank goodness God gives us people to walk through the valleys and up the mountains with. So take their hand, move forward, and thank the Lord that He has given you someone to accompany you on this journey.
We drove to Houston last Saturday to begin our trip, and we went to church on Sunday with my cousins. I could not wait to go to church. I missed two weeks in a row thanks to an out of town work trip and a stomach bug, and my heart was aching to be back amongst believers reveling in God's word. The Sunday school lesson was over motherhood and highlighted Hannah. I love reading stories of women in the Bible. Sometimes it seems a little unfair that those stories are far and few between, but God certainly went above and beyond in using women to accomplish incredible things so that His perfect plan could be fulfilled. Anyway, the class discussion was incredible, and the Lord taught me many wonderful things about Hannah this time that I had never considered before. Many things I want to write about, too. And so I wanted to highlight Hannah tonight, but not in the context of motherhood. Rather, I want to highlight Hannah as a wife.
So here's the deal with Hannah. She's married and longing for a child, but she's barren. To make matters worse, her husband has another wife (a story I'm not going to get into now) who has children. So insult to injury, right? It's certainly not easy to see others possess the things your heart so desperately wants, is it? And the thing is, Hannah has no control over this situation. She can't do anything to fix it or change it. The Bible is full of stories of people who have tried to force God's hand (not to mention any names but read about Sarah and Abraham when it comes to creating a family), and that's the thing about trying to force our will over God's. It doesn't work out well no matter how well intended we are. And so Hannah is visibly depressed. She has stopped eating. She is consumed with the reality that motherhood may not be in the cards for her, and her husband notices.
“Why are you crying, Hannah?” Elkanah would ask. “Why aren’t you eating? Why be downhearted just because you have no children? You have me—isn’t that better than having ten sons?” - 1 Samuel 1:8
Generally, men are fixers. They want to find a solution. Offer a fix. Elkanah had been giving Hannah a double portion of food, seeing that she wasn't eating. He could tell his wife was struggling. He saw that she was hurting. And he knew why. He knew she longed for a child. Something, unfortunately, that he couldn't fix, either. Something, I am certain, he desired to give her. After all, no child for Hannah meant no child for Elkanah. This wasn't just affecting Hannah. This was affecting her husband, too. And that's the thing about challenges and struggles in life. It can often feel like we're the only one going through it. But we're not. Our families, our friends, the people who love us, they're experiencing it on some level as well.
I'll never forget walking through my deepest valley and although I felt like I was the only one truly hurting, that no one else could understand, that wasn't the case. I wasn't sleeping, I wasn't eating, I was questioning, my heart was filled with doubt, and I wasn't the only one. And so we're remiss to think that it's "just us." And as Hannah hurt, so did her husband. Maybe he was sad about not having a child, or maybe his heart hurt because he felt like no matter what he did, no matter how much he tried, he couldn't fulfill his wife's heart's desire. A helpless spot to be.
Here's the thing about marriage - it's both of you in all things. In the good things and in the bad things. Two become one and you both experience life's challenges. You both get to celebrate the good things, and you're both affected by the difficult things. Your hearts break together just as they can be healed together. And that's the gift of marriage. That when you feel alone, you're not. You have someone to cry with you. Someone to encourage you. Someone to distract you, help you, take your mind off your troubles, or carry the burden. But you have to make the choice to do it together. To let them in, include them, consider them. Even if you don't understand, or even if they don't understand, to understand that regardless of how you feel, or how they feel, that you're in this together. After all, knowing you have support, knowing you have someone who cares about you and wants the best for you, is a precious thing. Something that we can easily take for granted.
Hannah's story doesn't end here. God has more in store for she and Elkanah, and that's always the case. There's more than we know, more than we can see. But thank goodness God gives us people to walk through the valleys and up the mountains with. So take their hand, move forward, and thank the Lord that He has given you someone to accompany you on this journey.
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