when it seems like you're in control... remember that you're not...
I remember thinking what life would be like after I had a child. I remember thinking that I'd take a few weeks to heal and then jump right back into the life I knew without skipping a beat. We'd get on a nice little schedule and it would be a smooth transition. I remember thinking that everything would surely come naturally to me because, well, it would be instinct. Isn't that how it works? I mean if animals can figure out how to care for a whole litter, surely I can manage a tiny person just fine. I remember thinking how I'd have time to get things done. Things like writing, reading, shaving my legs. That I'd be able to keep the house organized and clean. That I'd have this whole mothering thing running like a well-oiled machine in no time. I forgot that I wouldn't be the one in control.
I sat in bed last night watching the election as I snuggled Annabeth to sleep at a decent hour. It seems like we just had the last election. I can't believe it's been 4 years already. In fact, I remember voting for president for the first time 8 years ago, and I remember watching the race hopeful that my candidate would win because I was scared. I was scared of the unknown. Of what my future could possibly look like. I had heard things, read things, and I was seriously concerned. And I was even more concerned 4 years ago as I sat in bed as a young, single woman still uncertain of what my future would look like. And you know what, a lot has happened in the past 8 years since I cast my first ballot. Things I never expected, both good and bad. Joy and heartbreak. And you know what I have come to see? Regardless of who is in charge, good or bad, God is going to work things out for me.
It wasn't the government who healed my broken heart. The government did not run to my aid when I wondered how and if I would be able to keep my house and make ends meet. They didn't keep me employed and keep food on the table. The government has never nursed me back to health when I was sick. The government didn't lend its ear when I needed to get things off of my chest, and it has never given me a shoulder to cry on. The government didn't lift my spirits, has yet to give me the desires of my heart, and it has never answered any of my prayers. The government didn't cross my path with a man who would love me dearly and take good care of me. It didn't watch over me during my pregnancy, knitting together a beautiful child in my womb, and seeing us both through labor and delivery. The government doesn't wake me up each morning and fill my lungs with breath. Sure, the decisions of the government have certainly affected my life, but it is God who has divinely charted each step. Man's plans will never thwart His.
We're not in control. We try to be. We like to think we are. But we're all one breath away from dust. We're hanging on by a gracious and merciful thread. And while we desperately need a good leader, we must remember that we serve a good God. A good God who is faithful when we prosper, and a good God who is faithful when everything is falling apart. Do you think He was surprised by the misjudged polls last night? Do you think that He has been surprised by anything that has occurred at any time during history? He puts rulers in place, and He humbles them, too. Because all of our days were written long before we ever existed. He is in control, placing us where He wants us when He wants us there to accomplish His mission. A mission that is much bigger than our personal agendas.
And so I am thankful to vote. To have a small say in something that is much bigger than me. But I know that placing our hope in imperfect people only leads to disappointment. No one can or ever will be exactly what we need. That's God's job, not man's. And when we trust God, we can let go of fear. Of the fear of the unknown. Any fear of the future. Because we know He has us. We're safe in His arms. And we know that God is watching out for His own just as He promised He would. Not only is He in control, but He is a keeper of His word.
“Build homes, and plan to stay. Plant gardens, and eat the food they produce. Marry and have children. Then find spouses for them so that you may have many grandchildren. Multiply! Do not dwindle away! And work for the peace and prosperity of the city where I sent you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, for its welfare will determine your welfare.” - Jeremiah 29:5-7
I sat in bed last night watching the election as I snuggled Annabeth to sleep at a decent hour. It seems like we just had the last election. I can't believe it's been 4 years already. In fact, I remember voting for president for the first time 8 years ago, and I remember watching the race hopeful that my candidate would win because I was scared. I was scared of the unknown. Of what my future could possibly look like. I had heard things, read things, and I was seriously concerned. And I was even more concerned 4 years ago as I sat in bed as a young, single woman still uncertain of what my future would look like. And you know what, a lot has happened in the past 8 years since I cast my first ballot. Things I never expected, both good and bad. Joy and heartbreak. And you know what I have come to see? Regardless of who is in charge, good or bad, God is going to work things out for me.
It wasn't the government who healed my broken heart. The government did not run to my aid when I wondered how and if I would be able to keep my house and make ends meet. They didn't keep me employed and keep food on the table. The government has never nursed me back to health when I was sick. The government didn't lend its ear when I needed to get things off of my chest, and it has never given me a shoulder to cry on. The government didn't lift my spirits, has yet to give me the desires of my heart, and it has never answered any of my prayers. The government didn't cross my path with a man who would love me dearly and take good care of me. It didn't watch over me during my pregnancy, knitting together a beautiful child in my womb, and seeing us both through labor and delivery. The government doesn't wake me up each morning and fill my lungs with breath. Sure, the decisions of the government have certainly affected my life, but it is God who has divinely charted each step. Man's plans will never thwart His.
We're not in control. We try to be. We like to think we are. But we're all one breath away from dust. We're hanging on by a gracious and merciful thread. And while we desperately need a good leader, we must remember that we serve a good God. A good God who is faithful when we prosper, and a good God who is faithful when everything is falling apart. Do you think He was surprised by the misjudged polls last night? Do you think that He has been surprised by anything that has occurred at any time during history? He puts rulers in place, and He humbles them, too. Because all of our days were written long before we ever existed. He is in control, placing us where He wants us when He wants us there to accomplish His mission. A mission that is much bigger than our personal agendas.
And so I am thankful to vote. To have a small say in something that is much bigger than me. But I know that placing our hope in imperfect people only leads to disappointment. No one can or ever will be exactly what we need. That's God's job, not man's. And when we trust God, we can let go of fear. Of the fear of the unknown. Any fear of the future. Because we know He has us. We're safe in His arms. And we know that God is watching out for His own just as He promised He would. Not only is He in control, but He is a keeper of His word.
“Build homes, and plan to stay. Plant gardens, and eat the food they produce. Marry and have children. Then find spouses for them so that you may have many grandchildren. Multiply! Do not dwindle away! And work for the peace and prosperity of the city where I sent you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, for its welfare will determine your welfare.” - Jeremiah 29:5-7
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