a girl's best friend is her mother...
Your dad and I went to see a movie today. We used to spend many of our weekends at the movie theatre before you came along. In fact, the weekend before you were born, we went to see a movie because we knew those opportunities would be far and few between for a while. Your Grammy volunteered her time to watch you so we could catch the flick, and we were glad to let her. Towards the end of the day, you tend to get quite restless. I get it. We're all worn out by dinner time. And so I knew we'd come home to find a baby ready for bed. We've done our best to keep you on a nightly routine, and we had about 30 minutes until bath time. The beauty of living in our neck of the woods is that you often get springlike days during the winter, and that just so happened to be the case today. To distract you, we took you out on the front porch to see the sunset and enjoy fresh air. As I looked into the sky, colored incredible shades of pink, purple, and orange, and as I watched your dad carry you back and forth across the yard, I thought back to this time last year when I had just discovered you would be joining our family.
We decided to wait a few years before adding you to the mix. At first I wasn't thrilled about the idea of waiting, but looking back on it now, I'm glad for the time. Your dad and I squeezed a lot of amazing things into that season, and I will cherish those memories forever. Once we felt the right time had come, we made a plan. As you know, however, things rarely go as planned, so I expected you to be a long way off. I hoped that, for insurance, work, and school purposes, you'd be born in the fall, but I told myself to expect differently. Little did I know, things would actually go according to plan and you'd come right when we hoped. The perfect time! Sometimes our plans really do line up with God's, and it sure is a sweet thing when that happens.
From the start, people asked me if I wanted a boy or a girl. Truthfully, I don't think that's a good question to ask an expecting mother. Maybe you could say, "Do you think you're going to have a boy or girl?" But people asked none the less and I told them I didn't care. It wasn't a total lie, but if I was forced, and I mean absolutely forced, to pick one or the other, I would have gone team pink. Not because I like the color. Not because of all of the cute baby girl clothes. Not because of the big bows and the frilly socks. Sure, I really liked those things. But I hoped for a daughter because I knew the beautiful potential that was stored in the mother/daughter relationship, and that's what I was hoping for the most.
The more we get to know one another, you'll come to see that I am an introverted extrovert. I love talking, and I have the gift of gab, but given the choice to stay at home alone or join a group of people for party, I'd pick home. I have to really force myself to be a socialite, and it takes all of my energy when I do. I prefer small groups. I like having just one or two people around at a time. And so growing up with this wiring didn't thrust me into the popular group. I had a couple of good friends that I hung out with, but I was never invited to gatherings. I was quiet, somewhat shy, and pretty reserved. And although my friends were sweet and wonderful, my absolute best girl friend was always my mother.
I often hear people claim that you can't be a parent and a friend at the same time. I absolutely disagree. It takes work to successfully be both of those things, but I think it's possible. In fact, I know it is. I don't remember when or how your Grammy and I became friends. She's always been there, and I've always enjoyed her company. Because, although she was my mom, she was interested in my life at every stage. She and I talked about everything and she let me go everywhere with her. As a little girl, one of my favorite weekly activities was go to the grocery store together. The store wasn't exciting, but it was time that I had her by myself. We would share a box of animal crackers as we strolled up and down the store aisles, and she'd listen to me ramble about who knows what as if whatever I was saying was the most important information she'd hear all week. As I got older, our weekends were filled with shopping, movies, manicures, and anything that we could label as "girl time," But it wasn't an empty girl time. It was rich. It was a time for me to pour our my heart, my feelings, and she'd listen. She'd take note and then she'd speak encouragement, and the more that happened the closer we got. My freshman year in high school really sealed the deal. After a traumatizing start to the year, I came to realize that the only gal pal a girl can really count on is her mother. She's proven that statement to be true time and time again.
Annabeth, when I learned you were a girl, to say I was thrilled is an understatement. I know you and your future siblings, who may very well be boys, will read this one day, so know I would have been happy either way. But as I learned of the news that I'd be filling your closet with pink, I began hoping that I could be the kind of mom to you that your Grammy is to me. A mom that you are proud of. A mom that you trust and are willing to share your heart with. I hope to be a mom whom you'll come to when you need advice, encouragement, or a shoulder to cry on. And I hope that you'll want to hang out with me. That you'll let me take you shopping, to get your nails painted, or to see a sappy chick flick. I hope that you'll inform me of your love life, trust me with your secrets, and include me in all of your endeavors no matter what they are. Because I'll always be there to cheer you on. I'll be there to listen, to hug, and to share wisdom when you need it. On your bad days, your good days, and every day in between. When you fall in love, I'll jump around the room with you. When your heart breaks, I'll sit in the silence and share a box of tissues with you. When you want to go on an adventure, I'll be the first to sign up. When you shine, I'll sit on the front row and clap the loudest. When you make a mistake, I'll help you work through the mess. When you feel down, I'll show up with the ice cream. When you need help, don't hesitate to ask. When you're in the valley, I'll be on my knees. When you're on the mountain top, I'll be celebrating. And when you need a friend, you can look no further because you, sweet child, always have a friend in me.
We decided to wait a few years before adding you to the mix. At first I wasn't thrilled about the idea of waiting, but looking back on it now, I'm glad for the time. Your dad and I squeezed a lot of amazing things into that season, and I will cherish those memories forever. Once we felt the right time had come, we made a plan. As you know, however, things rarely go as planned, so I expected you to be a long way off. I hoped that, for insurance, work, and school purposes, you'd be born in the fall, but I told myself to expect differently. Little did I know, things would actually go according to plan and you'd come right when we hoped. The perfect time! Sometimes our plans really do line up with God's, and it sure is a sweet thing when that happens.
From the start, people asked me if I wanted a boy or a girl. Truthfully, I don't think that's a good question to ask an expecting mother. Maybe you could say, "Do you think you're going to have a boy or girl?" But people asked none the less and I told them I didn't care. It wasn't a total lie, but if I was forced, and I mean absolutely forced, to pick one or the other, I would have gone team pink. Not because I like the color. Not because of all of the cute baby girl clothes. Not because of the big bows and the frilly socks. Sure, I really liked those things. But I hoped for a daughter because I knew the beautiful potential that was stored in the mother/daughter relationship, and that's what I was hoping for the most.
The more we get to know one another, you'll come to see that I am an introverted extrovert. I love talking, and I have the gift of gab, but given the choice to stay at home alone or join a group of people for party, I'd pick home. I have to really force myself to be a socialite, and it takes all of my energy when I do. I prefer small groups. I like having just one or two people around at a time. And so growing up with this wiring didn't thrust me into the popular group. I had a couple of good friends that I hung out with, but I was never invited to gatherings. I was quiet, somewhat shy, and pretty reserved. And although my friends were sweet and wonderful, my absolute best girl friend was always my mother.
I often hear people claim that you can't be a parent and a friend at the same time. I absolutely disagree. It takes work to successfully be both of those things, but I think it's possible. In fact, I know it is. I don't remember when or how your Grammy and I became friends. She's always been there, and I've always enjoyed her company. Because, although she was my mom, she was interested in my life at every stage. She and I talked about everything and she let me go everywhere with her. As a little girl, one of my favorite weekly activities was go to the grocery store together. The store wasn't exciting, but it was time that I had her by myself. We would share a box of animal crackers as we strolled up and down the store aisles, and she'd listen to me ramble about who knows what as if whatever I was saying was the most important information she'd hear all week. As I got older, our weekends were filled with shopping, movies, manicures, and anything that we could label as "girl time," But it wasn't an empty girl time. It was rich. It was a time for me to pour our my heart, my feelings, and she'd listen. She'd take note and then she'd speak encouragement, and the more that happened the closer we got. My freshman year in high school really sealed the deal. After a traumatizing start to the year, I came to realize that the only gal pal a girl can really count on is her mother. She's proven that statement to be true time and time again.
Annabeth, when I learned you were a girl, to say I was thrilled is an understatement. I know you and your future siblings, who may very well be boys, will read this one day, so know I would have been happy either way. But as I learned of the news that I'd be filling your closet with pink, I began hoping that I could be the kind of mom to you that your Grammy is to me. A mom that you are proud of. A mom that you trust and are willing to share your heart with. I hope to be a mom whom you'll come to when you need advice, encouragement, or a shoulder to cry on. And I hope that you'll want to hang out with me. That you'll let me take you shopping, to get your nails painted, or to see a sappy chick flick. I hope that you'll inform me of your love life, trust me with your secrets, and include me in all of your endeavors no matter what they are. Because I'll always be there to cheer you on. I'll be there to listen, to hug, and to share wisdom when you need it. On your bad days, your good days, and every day in between. When you fall in love, I'll jump around the room with you. When your heart breaks, I'll sit in the silence and share a box of tissues with you. When you want to go on an adventure, I'll be the first to sign up. When you shine, I'll sit on the front row and clap the loudest. When you make a mistake, I'll help you work through the mess. When you feel down, I'll show up with the ice cream. When you need help, don't hesitate to ask. When you're in the valley, I'll be on my knees. When you're on the mountain top, I'll be celebrating. And when you need a friend, you can look no further because you, sweet child, always have a friend in me.
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