sugar daddy...

You are four months old today, Annabeth! Such a big girl! You have been growing like a weed over the past few months and, somehow, you have managed to get cuter every single day. Seriously, it's true. And strangers, people we don't even know, confirm that truth on a daily basis, so you can't say, "You have to say that, you're my mom!"

You have changed so much over the past month. You are the most independent little spirit I know. You cannot stand to be treated like a baby. Before you were born, I bought this lovely rocking chair, and I pictured the two of us spending a lot of quality time rocking together. Yea. Right! You HATE being rocked. Not many things make you angry, but rocking sure does. The Lord has quickly shown me that you are your own girl, so I have been doing my best to let you be you instead of forcing you to be who I want you to be. You also hate to be held like a baby. Honestly, anything associated with babies you seem to dislike. You're not really a fan of snuggling, which kind of breaks my heart. The moments that you do decide to snuggle, you better believe I soak those up. I will sit in a chair all day, forgoing food if I have to, just to snuggle you. You are an inquisitive gal, so you want to see everything going on around you. You like to sit up. In fact, you like it so much that you are constantly trying to sit up on your own. Unfortunately, you've got gravity working against you, so it might be a few more weeks. I know you'll get there because you are a determined one. I think you get that from both your momma and your daddy.

You have been sleeping like a champ for I don't even know how long now. You sleep through the night, usually waking once for a quick bottle, and then you're back to sleep until morning. I've never been a morning person, but waking up to you every day has changed that. You open your eyes with a smile on your face, and I tell you what, that sweet smile in the morning is more powerful than any cup of coffee. You've definitely stepped up your smile game this month, and it melts my heart. Your dad's, too! We have become obsessed with your smiles and we'll do anything to get one out of you. Luckily for us, that usually just takes a glance. We're working on your giggles right now, and when those come about, you can guarantee we'll make fools of ourselves to hear your laughter.

Before you were born, people would say things like, "You guys better live it up now. You're life is over once that baby arrives." Okay, they didn't really say it that bluntly, but that's basically what they were getting at. I was amazed at how many people made it sound like my life, at least the fun part, was going to end the day of your birth. But this strange phenomenon happened and all of the sudden, I didn't want to do anything but be with you. And being away from you made me want to be with you even more. But what I quickly learned is that I wasn't the only one who felt that way. I wasn't the only one who wanted your time and attention. Your dad was just as smitten. Just as in love. Just as taken by you as I was.

Sometimes, as a mom, it's easy to think we know best. That we know the "right" way, the only way. But let me be honest here, when you showed up, I had no idea what I was doing. I had never changed a diaper before. I had never bathed a baby. I had never burped one or swaddled one. I was as green as they come. And so I knew I had nothing on your dad. I had read a little more than he had, but reading and doing are two different things. And so I decided that I'd let your dad do things his way and I'd do them mine. I wasn't going to try and force his relationship or interaction with you to mirror mine. He's his own person. And I told myself that I would do everything in my power to encourage your relationship. To give him the opportunity to be your dad and build the type of relationship with you that he wanted. To share you. To let him figure things out, too. And to let him do it his way.

Your dad is crazy about you. If I had a dollar for every time he said, "she is SOOOO cute," I'd be a millionaire. He has forged the sweetest relationship with you, and while I know there are a lot of amazing dads out there, you have the best one. Your dad has never been afraid to try anything. He's a hands on kind of man, willing to help in any way. Each day when he gets home from work, he scoops you up and entertains you the whole evening until bath time. And then after your bath, which requires many hands, he gets you lotioned up and in your jammies, and then he puts you to bed. Every single night. Every night, no matter how hard his day was, no matter how long he worked, no matter how tired he is, he does this for you. Not because he has to. He wants to.

I look forward to each month because I can't wait to see what you accomplish. Your dad feels the same. He's often talking about how he looks forward to taking you on daddy/daughter dates. How he can't wait to see what your interests are and how he'll be willing to participate in them no matter what they might be. He talks about the things he wants to teach you. The adventures he wants to share with you. And I just think about what a fortunate girl you are to have a daddy like that. A daddy who is living out a great example of God's love for you right before your very eyes.

Annabeth, we're four months in and I don't have the words to adequately describe how I feel about you. How much I love you. How deeply I care about you. But I hope that you're getting it, that you're catching on. I hope that through our time together, you are understanding how treasured you are. How desired and valuable and worthwhile you are. I hope that you're seeing how much you mean to us and how grateful we are to have you as our own. And I hope that each day, in different ways, you are realizing God's love for you. His infinite, unmatched, perfect love for you. A love that never ends. A love that never fails. A love that chases after you. Not because He has to. He wants to.


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