because loving someone does not give us permission to change them...
Valentine's Shmalentine's. That's really how I feel about Valentine's, Annabeth. You're probably wondering what happened to make me feel this way. Nothing, really. I don't have an issue with the day itself, I just don't see the point in participating. One of the many things you'll learn about your ole mom is that I operate off of practicality. I don't see the point in paying marked up prices for something that will be on clearance in less than 24 hours. I also don't see the fun in dealing with huge crowds on a week night just to eat dinner when you can go do that any night. It's silly, I know. I sound like a kill-joy. Don't you worry, I'll let you develop your own idea of Valentine's Day. We'll celebrate together in the future if you want to. But since today is a day focused around "love," I figured now would be as good of a time as ever to talk on the subject.
There's this odd phenomenon that happens when someone falls in love. Boy meets girl, mom meets baby, and boom, somehow it happens. Sometimes it takes a while to fall in love and sometimes it's instant. Regardless, love finds a way to weave itself into the relationship and each party begins looking at the other through rose colored glasses. They see all sorts of amazing things, things that thrill them, things that really send them over the moon. But give them time and throw in some commitment and all the sudden, their rose colored glasses fall off and they are working overtime to change the person they love. Why, you ask? Well, sometimes we think that when we love someone, the best thing we can do for them is mold them into the person we want them to be. The person we think they should be. The person that God never created them to be.
Before you were born, I had all of these ideas of what our days would look like. I thought that we'd sit and we'd snuggle all the time. You'd be content as long as you were in my arms. And when I needed to get things done, I'd stick you in one of those awesome baby wraps so you could snuggle up next to my chest and sleep. I thought you'd take great naps in your crib every day so that I could get all sorts of tasks accomplished. And when you were fussy, I'd just whip out your cute pacifier and that would take care of that. I figured you would enjoy rocking in the chair with me and sitting in my lap as I read countless books to you. I imagined that you'd basically be a mini version of myself, leaving little room for you to actually be you.
But you came along and you hated rocking. I sat in your nursery with you as a newborn trying to rock you to sleep as you screamed and hollered. It took me a while to figure out that the whole reason you were unhappy was because you were being rocked. And snuggling went out the window the moment you exited that newborn sleepy phase. The baby wrap really frustrated you, regardless of which one I used. And the pacifier was just a lost cause no matter how many types I tried. Sitting in my lap, you'll tolerate for only a while. Being held, you don't mind... as long as you can see everything and the scenery changes on a timely basis. Your little legs never stop going. You squiggle and squirm, kick and turn. You prefer to nap in moving objects. You're far too busy to be still. And I've learned that the mini-version of myself only existed 29.5 years ago and that was the last time she was, and ever will be, seen.
Sunday morning, your dad and I sat in church and gawked at a little boy, close to your age, who sat completely still throughout the entire service without making a peep. We were amazed! I was tempted to say, "Gosh, I wish Annabeth would do that," and as those words came to my mind, the Lord convicted my heart. He reminded me that He created you just the way you are. That He gave you the exact personality you have. Everything about you is intentional. And, sweet girl, I'll be honest. Sometimes as parents, we forget that. We say things like, "You are just like your ______," and not as a compliment. Or we may say, "I wish you would do _______ ," or "You are just so _______." And we forget all of those moments, before we ever met you, when we told you that you were perfect and promised to love everything about you.
And so I have to tell you this, and I want you to remember it. I love you just the way you are. The way God created you to be. I love that you have beautiful, blue curious eyes and that you are so inquisitive, always trying to figure things out. I love your independent little spirit that is already trying hard to accomplish great things. Your busy little body means we'll have a lot of fun adventures in store, and it certainly makes me stop and appreciate any occasion we get to snuggle since they are far and few between. Sure, you might not be able to sit long without making a peep, but you sure know how to sleep through the night, and for that I'm extremely grateful. I love your adorable smile and how you raise your little shoulders and widen your eyes the moment I look your way. In fact, when I look at you, I think, "What's not to love?"
Annabeth, don't ever think that God made a mistake when He created you. That He messed up, made you too much of one way, or not enough of the other. Because somewhere along the way, someone might say something to you. Someone might make a comment that makes you doubt. A comment that makes you feel insecure. A comment that hits you hard and hurts your feelings. But remember that everything about you, from the top of your head to the bottom of your toes, was designed by God. You are an original masterpiece, and I can't wait to see what He continues to create in you as the years go by.
"For [He] created [your] inmost being, [Annabeth]. [He] knit [you] together in [your] mother's womb. [We] praise [Him] because [you are] fearfully and wonderfully made. [His] works are wonderful. [We] know that full well." - Psalm 139:13-14
There's this odd phenomenon that happens when someone falls in love. Boy meets girl, mom meets baby, and boom, somehow it happens. Sometimes it takes a while to fall in love and sometimes it's instant. Regardless, love finds a way to weave itself into the relationship and each party begins looking at the other through rose colored glasses. They see all sorts of amazing things, things that thrill them, things that really send them over the moon. But give them time and throw in some commitment and all the sudden, their rose colored glasses fall off and they are working overtime to change the person they love. Why, you ask? Well, sometimes we think that when we love someone, the best thing we can do for them is mold them into the person we want them to be. The person we think they should be. The person that God never created them to be.
Before you were born, I had all of these ideas of what our days would look like. I thought that we'd sit and we'd snuggle all the time. You'd be content as long as you were in my arms. And when I needed to get things done, I'd stick you in one of those awesome baby wraps so you could snuggle up next to my chest and sleep. I thought you'd take great naps in your crib every day so that I could get all sorts of tasks accomplished. And when you were fussy, I'd just whip out your cute pacifier and that would take care of that. I figured you would enjoy rocking in the chair with me and sitting in my lap as I read countless books to you. I imagined that you'd basically be a mini version of myself, leaving little room for you to actually be you.
But you came along and you hated rocking. I sat in your nursery with you as a newborn trying to rock you to sleep as you screamed and hollered. It took me a while to figure out that the whole reason you were unhappy was because you were being rocked. And snuggling went out the window the moment you exited that newborn sleepy phase. The baby wrap really frustrated you, regardless of which one I used. And the pacifier was just a lost cause no matter how many types I tried. Sitting in my lap, you'll tolerate for only a while. Being held, you don't mind... as long as you can see everything and the scenery changes on a timely basis. Your little legs never stop going. You squiggle and squirm, kick and turn. You prefer to nap in moving objects. You're far too busy to be still. And I've learned that the mini-version of myself only existed 29.5 years ago and that was the last time she was, and ever will be, seen.
Sunday morning, your dad and I sat in church and gawked at a little boy, close to your age, who sat completely still throughout the entire service without making a peep. We were amazed! I was tempted to say, "Gosh, I wish Annabeth would do that," and as those words came to my mind, the Lord convicted my heart. He reminded me that He created you just the way you are. That He gave you the exact personality you have. Everything about you is intentional. And, sweet girl, I'll be honest. Sometimes as parents, we forget that. We say things like, "You are just like your ______," and not as a compliment. Or we may say, "I wish you would do _______ ," or "You are just so _______." And we forget all of those moments, before we ever met you, when we told you that you were perfect and promised to love everything about you.
And so I have to tell you this, and I want you to remember it. I love you just the way you are. The way God created you to be. I love that you have beautiful, blue curious eyes and that you are so inquisitive, always trying to figure things out. I love your independent little spirit that is already trying hard to accomplish great things. Your busy little body means we'll have a lot of fun adventures in store, and it certainly makes me stop and appreciate any occasion we get to snuggle since they are far and few between. Sure, you might not be able to sit long without making a peep, but you sure know how to sleep through the night, and for that I'm extremely grateful. I love your adorable smile and how you raise your little shoulders and widen your eyes the moment I look your way. In fact, when I look at you, I think, "What's not to love?"
Annabeth, don't ever think that God made a mistake when He created you. That He messed up, made you too much of one way, or not enough of the other. Because somewhere along the way, someone might say something to you. Someone might make a comment that makes you doubt. A comment that makes you feel insecure. A comment that hits you hard and hurts your feelings. But remember that everything about you, from the top of your head to the bottom of your toes, was designed by God. You are an original masterpiece, and I can't wait to see what He continues to create in you as the years go by.
"For [He] created [your] inmost being, [Annabeth]. [He] knit [you] together in [your] mother's womb. [We] praise [Him] because [you are] fearfully and wonderfully made. [His] works are wonderful. [We] know that full well." - Psalm 139:13-14
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