year one...
How can it be a year, Annabeth? It seems like we were just meeting for the first time, and now you're a year old! As I look back over your first year of life, I am amazed at all that we've been through. I'm amazed at how much you've changed. And I'm amazed at how much I have, too.
Per the norm, this has been another big month for you. You're working on cutting your seventh tooth. It isn't coming through as quickly and nicely as the others, but you're handling it well. You've begun walking with some assistance, which you decided to try out on your own, by the way. You've figured out how to open and close just about any and every thing you can reach in the house. You're quite the thinker, trying to learn how the world works. Although you're a busy body, you'll sit still and work through a challenging task until you've mastered it. I'm so impressed with the speed at which you learn new things that I have to be careful what I show you and what I give you. I don't know what plans God has in store for your life, but it wouldn't surprise me if you ended up being an inventor or an engineer!
Your amount of talking seems to increase on a daily basis. I haven't heard you say many new words this month, but you do say "yah-bee, yah-bee, yah-bee" a lot. You're a good listener, and you're doing well in the obeying department. We're using "old school" parenting methods on you that seem to be working for now. When I tell you "no," you usually respond accordingly, and for that I am grateful.
We had your first birthday party yesterday, and the Lord gave us a beautiful day to celebrate. I know you won't remember anything about it, but I will. And one day, I'll show you the very few pictures we have of the day and hopefully you'll appreciate it then. We threw you a fiesta, you seemed to enjoy your first bite of cupcake, and you were gifted with a plethora of great toys that should keep you busy for a while. All in all, I would say that it was a success and, for me, it was a precious moment in time. It's not every day a momma gets to throw her baby a first birthday party, and I certainly think each year of life is worth a great celebration!
I distinctly remember our first night together, your actual birth day, and it didn't go well. No fault of your own, it was just the aftermath of an unfortunate labor and delivery. I remember bringing you home after spending a week in the hospital, and frankly, that's about all I remember. I can't recall the first few months with much clarity. I remember that we watched a lot of Gilmore Girls and spent a lot of time in our pajamas. That's about it. Thankfully, I took pictures and wrote about it so that we could both look back and remember. Mom-brain is a real thing! And so as much as you've learned and grown over this past year, and as much as I've tried to me a good mother, nurturer, and teacher, I've learned to be a student as well.This has been a big year for you, it's been a big one for me, too.
The year began with a lot of personal doubt. As you know, I quit my job to stay home with you, which, at the time, proved to be more difficult of a decision than I thought it would. I'm a creature of habit and that was a huge change for me. On top of that, I had never cared for a baby in my life, and so I was starting from ground zero. I literally knew nothing about babies, and that "motherly instinct" that I was supposed to have never showed up. I do remember sitting in the parking lot at the hospital one day before we went in to see Dad. I was listening to the radio and a woman was talking about her struggles with motherhood and how she felt that it came unnaturally to her. It was one of those divine moments where I know God was playing that segment for me. I wrote down the name of her book and went by Mardel on our way home to buy it because I felt like I was failing. We were only a few months in and I was overwhelmed by the task of being a mother. It seemed that all of the other ladies around me were pulling off their role as mom effortlessly and I was struggling greatly. I didn't have it together, and frankly. I still don't. I felt like I was losing myself, and I didn't really know who I was anymore. My perceived identity had changed drastically from being a professional working woman to a sweatpants wearing mom-bie (that's a mom zombie, by the way) who was barely keeping her head above the water. All of the things I had imagined and expected about staying at home weren't happening, and frankly, I didn't know if I would ever be able to get it together again.
Slowly, God began changing my heart and my outlook. It was little ways, really. Like coming to terms that my perfectly decorated house, now cluttered with baby gadgets and gizmos, was a blessing, not a mess. (This has come in extra handy now that we've moved in to our "fixer upper.") I realized that I was no more valuable or important as a working woman than I was a stay at home mom, even though the pay isn't near the same. And as He continued to change my heart and equip me for this adventure of motherhood, I came to realize that I didn't have to be Supermom. I just needed to be Annabeth's mom and let go of my unrealistic expectations. Truth be told, some days I sit back and reflect on the ways that God has changed me, and I am truly amazed at how I'm turning out. Seriously, I surprise myself! That Type-A, slightly obsessive, overly organized, and highly planned woman is nowhere to be found. Instead, I see a woman who has learned to roll with the punches and take life one day at a time. A laid back, stress-free mom who realizes that messes are just that and can be cleaned up when there's time, herself included. Because God has helped me understand that this is just a season, this is not the rest of my life. One day, I'll get to sleep as much as I did before you arrived. One day, I'll have that spotless house, with everything in place. One day, I'll have plenty of time to work, do my hair and make-up, and maybe even keep my nails polished if I want to. One day, things won't look like they do today, and when I think about the woman I was the day before you arrived versus the woman I am now, I'm amazed at how God has transformed me and given me all of the traits and abilities I need to do what He's called me to. But then again, should I really be surprised? God always gives us what we need when we need it, especially when we come to Him and ask for it.
As so as we are celebrating your first year, here's what I want to share with you. Don't be afraid of the tasks that God lays before you. From what I've seen thus far, you don't appear to be afraid of much and are a quick learner and always looking to tackle a new challenge. Yet there may come a day when God asks you to do something that is difficult or scary. You may not think you are cut out for the job. You may question your abilities or even question the call. It might feel overwhelming at times, and you may feel as if you can hardly stay afloat. But don't give up and don't doubt God. He will absolutely supply all that you need, and sometimes what you really need is to be willing to change. To allow God to mold you and equip you with His strength and wisdom for success in your endeavors. You may need a fresh perspective or a new mindset. And so don't be afraid to ask. Ask the one who knows it all, the one who has all of the answers. Because God is faithful, Annabeth. God is good. And God will always be there for you!
"To the person who pleases Him, God gives wisdom, knowledge, and happiness..." - Ecclesiastes 2:26
Per the norm, this has been another big month for you. You're working on cutting your seventh tooth. It isn't coming through as quickly and nicely as the others, but you're handling it well. You've begun walking with some assistance, which you decided to try out on your own, by the way. You've figured out how to open and close just about any and every thing you can reach in the house. You're quite the thinker, trying to learn how the world works. Although you're a busy body, you'll sit still and work through a challenging task until you've mastered it. I'm so impressed with the speed at which you learn new things that I have to be careful what I show you and what I give you. I don't know what plans God has in store for your life, but it wouldn't surprise me if you ended up being an inventor or an engineer!
Your amount of talking seems to increase on a daily basis. I haven't heard you say many new words this month, but you do say "yah-bee, yah-bee, yah-bee" a lot. You're a good listener, and you're doing well in the obeying department. We're using "old school" parenting methods on you that seem to be working for now. When I tell you "no," you usually respond accordingly, and for that I am grateful.
We had your first birthday party yesterday, and the Lord gave us a beautiful day to celebrate. I know you won't remember anything about it, but I will. And one day, I'll show you the very few pictures we have of the day and hopefully you'll appreciate it then. We threw you a fiesta, you seemed to enjoy your first bite of cupcake, and you were gifted with a plethora of great toys that should keep you busy for a while. All in all, I would say that it was a success and, for me, it was a precious moment in time. It's not every day a momma gets to throw her baby a first birthday party, and I certainly think each year of life is worth a great celebration!
I distinctly remember our first night together, your actual birth day, and it didn't go well. No fault of your own, it was just the aftermath of an unfortunate labor and delivery. I remember bringing you home after spending a week in the hospital, and frankly, that's about all I remember. I can't recall the first few months with much clarity. I remember that we watched a lot of Gilmore Girls and spent a lot of time in our pajamas. That's about it. Thankfully, I took pictures and wrote about it so that we could both look back and remember. Mom-brain is a real thing! And so as much as you've learned and grown over this past year, and as much as I've tried to me a good mother, nurturer, and teacher, I've learned to be a student as well.This has been a big year for you, it's been a big one for me, too.
The year began with a lot of personal doubt. As you know, I quit my job to stay home with you, which, at the time, proved to be more difficult of a decision than I thought it would. I'm a creature of habit and that was a huge change for me. On top of that, I had never cared for a baby in my life, and so I was starting from ground zero. I literally knew nothing about babies, and that "motherly instinct" that I was supposed to have never showed up. I do remember sitting in the parking lot at the hospital one day before we went in to see Dad. I was listening to the radio and a woman was talking about her struggles with motherhood and how she felt that it came unnaturally to her. It was one of those divine moments where I know God was playing that segment for me. I wrote down the name of her book and went by Mardel on our way home to buy it because I felt like I was failing. We were only a few months in and I was overwhelmed by the task of being a mother. It seemed that all of the other ladies around me were pulling off their role as mom effortlessly and I was struggling greatly. I didn't have it together, and frankly. I still don't. I felt like I was losing myself, and I didn't really know who I was anymore. My perceived identity had changed drastically from being a professional working woman to a sweatpants wearing mom-bie (that's a mom zombie, by the way) who was barely keeping her head above the water. All of the things I had imagined and expected about staying at home weren't happening, and frankly, I didn't know if I would ever be able to get it together again.
Slowly, God began changing my heart and my outlook. It was little ways, really. Like coming to terms that my perfectly decorated house, now cluttered with baby gadgets and gizmos, was a blessing, not a mess. (This has come in extra handy now that we've moved in to our "fixer upper.") I realized that I was no more valuable or important as a working woman than I was a stay at home mom, even though the pay isn't near the same. And as He continued to change my heart and equip me for this adventure of motherhood, I came to realize that I didn't have to be Supermom. I just needed to be Annabeth's mom and let go of my unrealistic expectations. Truth be told, some days I sit back and reflect on the ways that God has changed me, and I am truly amazed at how I'm turning out. Seriously, I surprise myself! That Type-A, slightly obsessive, overly organized, and highly planned woman is nowhere to be found. Instead, I see a woman who has learned to roll with the punches and take life one day at a time. A laid back, stress-free mom who realizes that messes are just that and can be cleaned up when there's time, herself included. Because God has helped me understand that this is just a season, this is not the rest of my life. One day, I'll get to sleep as much as I did before you arrived. One day, I'll have that spotless house, with everything in place. One day, I'll have plenty of time to work, do my hair and make-up, and maybe even keep my nails polished if I want to. One day, things won't look like they do today, and when I think about the woman I was the day before you arrived versus the woman I am now, I'm amazed at how God has transformed me and given me all of the traits and abilities I need to do what He's called me to. But then again, should I really be surprised? God always gives us what we need when we need it, especially when we come to Him and ask for it.
As so as we are celebrating your first year, here's what I want to share with you. Don't be afraid of the tasks that God lays before you. From what I've seen thus far, you don't appear to be afraid of much and are a quick learner and always looking to tackle a new challenge. Yet there may come a day when God asks you to do something that is difficult or scary. You may not think you are cut out for the job. You may question your abilities or even question the call. It might feel overwhelming at times, and you may feel as if you can hardly stay afloat. But don't give up and don't doubt God. He will absolutely supply all that you need, and sometimes what you really need is to be willing to change. To allow God to mold you and equip you with His strength and wisdom for success in your endeavors. You may need a fresh perspective or a new mindset. And so don't be afraid to ask. Ask the one who knows it all, the one who has all of the answers. Because God is faithful, Annabeth. God is good. And God will always be there for you!
"To the person who pleases Him, God gives wisdom, knowledge, and happiness..." - Ecclesiastes 2:26
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