and how is this for the good?
We set a goal to be in our master bedroom by the end of the year. I'm not certain that setting goals around the holidays is the best idea, and as is the case with any construction project, we didn't quite make our timeline. January came and we decided to make a concentrated effort to get it done. It has been seven months since we've moved into our home and we're three rooms down with a lot left to do.
I've been meaning to write. Thoughts have rolled around in my head over the past few weeks but I've had trouble finding the time to sit down and make them concrete. That's time for you, isn't it? Always going too quickly, and there's never as much as you need. But I remember starting this blog six years ago, mid- January and I didn't miss a night for almost 4 years, with the exception of my honeymoon. I always found time because, the truth is, I needed it. It was the hardest season I had ever faced, and I often found myself thinking, "And how is this for the good?"
I knew Romans 8:28. I read it over and over, choosing to believe in God's promise even though I couldn't see it. How could this be any good? My finite, often faith-faltering, mind could only see one good way. That's all there could be, and because that's all I could see, clearly that's all God could do. That's how God would have to act. That's exactly what he'd need to orchestrate to make this mess, this disaster, good. And the good thing God could have, should have, done didn't happen. Not even close.
I've known for years that God kept true to His word and did what was good. Painful at the time, yes, but in all truthfulness, it was the most gracious thing He could have ever done for me. Looking back, I see that the pain inflicted then was really minor to what could have been to come. A little pain now to avoid deeper wounds later. I praise the Lord for acting in His perfect and great wisdom and not in the flawlessness and foolishness of mine. As I recently learned in a bible study I'm attending, "when our finite minds desire to question an infinite God, we should stop, fall to our knees, and praise him."
And so although I thought I knew, this "good" has been revealed to me in a new way over the past two weeks. It's so easy to attach the good to a tangible thing. I look at my husband, who is a great man, and at my child, who is so precious to me, and I say, "These are the "good" things." God worked it out in His mercy and kindness so that I could have them, and they are good things. Two of the best things that have ever happened to me! God is good and only gives good. God would never give us anything contrary. But what I've come to understand is that "the good" in the promise of Romans is the process of refining me in the midst of my circumstances so that I will be more like Christ. That's the good. To be Christ-like. Is there anything better in His eyes?
Were it not for His graciousness, I wouldn't be where I am today. I wouldn't have what I've been given. But I also wouldn't be who I've become. I'd still be the woman whose heart was greatly ruled by pride. A woman whose default was to operate under the illusion of good works. One who found it easy to judge and hard to let go. Who cared way too much about what others thought and tried to please man more often than God. A worrier who clung to "what if's" rather than trusting what God said. Stubborn, hanging on to her own plans and refusing to submit to anything outside of that. A woman who desperately needed to be broken. Broken for the good of one who loved her and would teach her that, when she would fully surrender herself to him, could still be used for His purposes.
I've been meaning to write. Thoughts have rolled around in my head over the past few weeks but I've had trouble finding the time to sit down and make them concrete. That's time for you, isn't it? Always going too quickly, and there's never as much as you need. But I remember starting this blog six years ago, mid- January and I didn't miss a night for almost 4 years, with the exception of my honeymoon. I always found time because, the truth is, I needed it. It was the hardest season I had ever faced, and I often found myself thinking, "And how is this for the good?"
I knew Romans 8:28. I read it over and over, choosing to believe in God's promise even though I couldn't see it. How could this be any good? My finite, often faith-faltering, mind could only see one good way. That's all there could be, and because that's all I could see, clearly that's all God could do. That's how God would have to act. That's exactly what he'd need to orchestrate to make this mess, this disaster, good. And the good thing God could have, should have, done didn't happen. Not even close.
I've known for years that God kept true to His word and did what was good. Painful at the time, yes, but in all truthfulness, it was the most gracious thing He could have ever done for me. Looking back, I see that the pain inflicted then was really minor to what could have been to come. A little pain now to avoid deeper wounds later. I praise the Lord for acting in His perfect and great wisdom and not in the flawlessness and foolishness of mine. As I recently learned in a bible study I'm attending, "when our finite minds desire to question an infinite God, we should stop, fall to our knees, and praise him."
And so although I thought I knew, this "good" has been revealed to me in a new way over the past two weeks. It's so easy to attach the good to a tangible thing. I look at my husband, who is a great man, and at my child, who is so precious to me, and I say, "These are the "good" things." God worked it out in His mercy and kindness so that I could have them, and they are good things. Two of the best things that have ever happened to me! God is good and only gives good. God would never give us anything contrary. But what I've come to understand is that "the good" in the promise of Romans is the process of refining me in the midst of my circumstances so that I will be more like Christ. That's the good. To be Christ-like. Is there anything better in His eyes?
Were it not for His graciousness, I wouldn't be where I am today. I wouldn't have what I've been given. But I also wouldn't be who I've become. I'd still be the woman whose heart was greatly ruled by pride. A woman whose default was to operate under the illusion of good works. One who found it easy to judge and hard to let go. Who cared way too much about what others thought and tried to please man more often than God. A worrier who clung to "what if's" rather than trusting what God said. Stubborn, hanging on to her own plans and refusing to submit to anything outside of that. A woman who desperately needed to be broken. Broken for the good of one who loved her and would teach her that, when she would fully surrender herself to him, could still be used for His purposes.
Comments
Post a Comment