to the new moms...
Nine days. We're down to single digits. I can hardly believe it. It's a bit surreal to have prayed for and desired something for the majority of my life and I'm finally days away from experiencing it. I honestly don't know how I feel. I'm excited, I'm nervous, I'm anxious... mostly, I'm trying not to think much about it.
I bought a baby book a few weeks ago with great intentions to fill it in as much as possible before Annabeth's arrival. Thus far, I have not made much progress, and I'm feeling a little guilty about that. Everyone knows that the first kid is well documented and prepared for because of the newness of parenthood. Let's be honest here. If you came anywhere after kid #1, you know that while your parents were excited to have you, their zeal wasn't the same as the first time around. The first kid gets new everything, and the second kid gets hand me downs. In fact, as we've been shopping for big ticket items, we've tried to pick everything out in neutral colors so that we can reuse it for child #2 who probably won't show up for years. Well, at least 5 years. There's no way I am going to let that car seat expire between babies. Anyway, sometimes I feel like I'm already failing my sweet girl as I should be more sentimental and intentional about documenting this time. It's not that I'm not thrilled, but looking at Pinterest and social media, it can certainly make you feel like you must not love your child enough if you aren't spending every free moment crafting cute ideas and taking documenting every step of the way.
Simplicity has been the name of the game for this process. I learned the beauty and joy of simplicity while planning our wedding, and it made the engagement season so sweet. Aaron and I meet with this precious little couple who is preparing for marriage, and the bride-to-be made a comment about how she felt that she should be MORE excited. I knew exactly what she meant as I have felt the same about becoming a mother. I was thankful that she was willing to honestly share that with me, because in this day and age, we do a fantastic job of over exaggerating our experiences. I mean, 11 years ago when I was in high school, "prom-posals" didn't exist. People said, "Hey, do you want to go to prom?" And that was that. But all life events have become grand displays, putting a lot of unnecessary pressure on people. I get it. It's fun to have parties and big to-do's to celebrate the good things in life. But we have to be careful that we're not just wrapped up in creating a picture perfect moment. Rather, we have to be sure we are truly preparing for the adventure that we're about to embark upon because cute pictures and fun parties are a small, small part of the journey.
New mom, can I tell you something? Your baby knows nothing. Isn't that kind of nice? Your child is coming with no expectations. In fact, they have no experience with parents at this point, and so you're all that sweet baby knows. You are setting the standard. Your baby isn't comparing you to other mothers. Your baby has no idea what the other mothers are doing. And, even if your baby did, I doubt she would care. Your baby wants you to love her and to feed her and take care of her. That's what she wants. She doesn't care that the baby down the street has a closet full of designer baby clothes and you bought hers on summer clearance. She's just going to grow out of them in a few months anyway. And she doesn't care if little Suzie is riding around in a $1000 stroller and you bargain shopped for hers. These things do not determine love. They do not mean that you care more or that you care less. Whether you've never spent a moment on Pinterest scrolling through nursery ideas, or whether you've spent years pinning and creating the perfect nursery, it doesn't mean you're more or less excited. Your job is to be a mom. Simple as that. And if you want to take advice from other mothers, well, that's great! And if you don't, that's just fine, too. Because this is your child. This is your baby - no one else's. You are her mother, she is your responsibility, and so you do what you need to do. You do what's best for your family, for your baby, for you.
And when you start to feel overwhelmed, turn your eyes away from your smartphone and on to Jesus. Ask Him to help you. To fill you with wisdom so you'll know what to do. Ask Him to show you how to navigate through the tough situations, to give you peace when you feel stressed, and to fill you with joy when doubt and insecurity threatens to set in. Because if anyone knows your baby, it's Him. He knit her together in your womb after all, and so He'll help you. He'll show you what to do. He'll walk with you every step of the way because He loves you. He loves her. He cares about you, about the role He's called you to, and He will be faithful to give you everything you need so that you can succeed.
"Can a mother forget her nursing child? Can she feel no love for the child she has borne? But even if that were possible, I would not forget you. See, I have written your name on the palms of my hands." - Isaiah 49:15-16
I bought a baby book a few weeks ago with great intentions to fill it in as much as possible before Annabeth's arrival. Thus far, I have not made much progress, and I'm feeling a little guilty about that. Everyone knows that the first kid is well documented and prepared for because of the newness of parenthood. Let's be honest here. If you came anywhere after kid #1, you know that while your parents were excited to have you, their zeal wasn't the same as the first time around. The first kid gets new everything, and the second kid gets hand me downs. In fact, as we've been shopping for big ticket items, we've tried to pick everything out in neutral colors so that we can reuse it for child #2 who probably won't show up for years. Well, at least 5 years. There's no way I am going to let that car seat expire between babies. Anyway, sometimes I feel like I'm already failing my sweet girl as I should be more sentimental and intentional about documenting this time. It's not that I'm not thrilled, but looking at Pinterest and social media, it can certainly make you feel like you must not love your child enough if you aren't spending every free moment crafting cute ideas and taking documenting every step of the way.
Simplicity has been the name of the game for this process. I learned the beauty and joy of simplicity while planning our wedding, and it made the engagement season so sweet. Aaron and I meet with this precious little couple who is preparing for marriage, and the bride-to-be made a comment about how she felt that she should be MORE excited. I knew exactly what she meant as I have felt the same about becoming a mother. I was thankful that she was willing to honestly share that with me, because in this day and age, we do a fantastic job of over exaggerating our experiences. I mean, 11 years ago when I was in high school, "prom-posals" didn't exist. People said, "Hey, do you want to go to prom?" And that was that. But all life events have become grand displays, putting a lot of unnecessary pressure on people. I get it. It's fun to have parties and big to-do's to celebrate the good things in life. But we have to be careful that we're not just wrapped up in creating a picture perfect moment. Rather, we have to be sure we are truly preparing for the adventure that we're about to embark upon because cute pictures and fun parties are a small, small part of the journey.
New mom, can I tell you something? Your baby knows nothing. Isn't that kind of nice? Your child is coming with no expectations. In fact, they have no experience with parents at this point, and so you're all that sweet baby knows. You are setting the standard. Your baby isn't comparing you to other mothers. Your baby has no idea what the other mothers are doing. And, even if your baby did, I doubt she would care. Your baby wants you to love her and to feed her and take care of her. That's what she wants. She doesn't care that the baby down the street has a closet full of designer baby clothes and you bought hers on summer clearance. She's just going to grow out of them in a few months anyway. And she doesn't care if little Suzie is riding around in a $1000 stroller and you bargain shopped for hers. These things do not determine love. They do not mean that you care more or that you care less. Whether you've never spent a moment on Pinterest scrolling through nursery ideas, or whether you've spent years pinning and creating the perfect nursery, it doesn't mean you're more or less excited. Your job is to be a mom. Simple as that. And if you want to take advice from other mothers, well, that's great! And if you don't, that's just fine, too. Because this is your child. This is your baby - no one else's. You are her mother, she is your responsibility, and so you do what you need to do. You do what's best for your family, for your baby, for you.
And when you start to feel overwhelmed, turn your eyes away from your smartphone and on to Jesus. Ask Him to help you. To fill you with wisdom so you'll know what to do. Ask Him to show you how to navigate through the tough situations, to give you peace when you feel stressed, and to fill you with joy when doubt and insecurity threatens to set in. Because if anyone knows your baby, it's Him. He knit her together in your womb after all, and so He'll help you. He'll show you what to do. He'll walk with you every step of the way because He loves you. He loves her. He cares about you, about the role He's called you to, and He will be faithful to give you everything you need so that you can succeed.
"Can a mother forget her nursing child? Can she feel no love for the child she has borne? But even if that were possible, I would not forget you. See, I have written your name on the palms of my hands." - Isaiah 49:15-16
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