because you can't make anyone do anything...
We're two weeks out from our third anniversary. Can you believe that? It has been a fast 3 years, people. I've been reading some old posts I wrote from this time 3 years ago, and they simply fill my heart with joy. Overwhelming joy. Pregnancy has not made me emotional at this point, but I'll admit that I tear up reading those old posts because I seriously can't believe that was my life. That this is my life!
Aaron is a catch. Not to brag, I'm just being honest here. You name it, he's got it. It's nothing but clear evidence of God's mercy and grace that we ended up together. It was a pure miracle that no other girl snatched him up before I was able to win his heart over. And trust me, I'm sure they tried. I am not the only girl he ever dated, although there weren't many. He wasn't a disposable dater by any means. He had a few long term relationships before we met, and they were with really great girls. I don't personally know any of them, but I would ask him about those girls because I wanted to know his past. I also wanted to know why he would choose me over them because it sounded like they had a whole lot going for them. But Aaron, being a man of great character said, "Every time marriage was brought up, something didn't feel right. I never had a peace about it, and although it was hard, I knew I had to break off that relationship. It wasn't fair to continue it if I knew it wasn't going to result in marriage. When I talked about it with you, I never felt that way and that was the first and only time that ever happened."
You can't make anyone do anything. You can beg, guilt, plead, and present a really convincing argument, but you can't make anyone do anything. You can't make anyone love you if they don't want to. You can't make them marry you. You can't make them stay married to you despite the popular belief that "divorce is not an option." I get it. I ignorantly said that a thousand times over when I was single. Of course, it makes lovely sense. Why in the world would you ever commit your life to someone who openly admitted that divorce was actually an option for them? That would be foolish! Don't do that, okay? But a harsh fact of life is that you can't make anyone stay married to you. God gave mankind free will, and that means we have to freedom to break our vows, chase after the things of the flesh, and live our lives in sharp contrast to his will. That means that just because one person is willing, the other one doesn't have to be. And it means just because one has committed, the other can change their mind. The scary thing about marriage is that it truly is built on trust and all you can do is your part.
A few weeks before our wedding, Aaron and I made a video about how we met and about why we were excited to get married. I think that's a simple question worth asking, don't you? Sometimes I hear people share about their relationship and I just want to say, "So what is it about this person that you love? Why do you want to marry them?" For all couples, this should be a no-brainer that can be answered without much thought. Really, the answers should be on the tip of their tongues. Not those simple little generic answers, but seriously convincing, thought out answers. I couldn't wait to hear why Aaron wanted to marry me. And you know what he said? He said, "The bible talks about how husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the church, and today, I truly get to begin doing that." Did you catch that? I get to. Not, I have to. Not, I'll try to. I get to. That's why he was excited to marry me. Not because of any one particular thing about me but because he couldn't wait to begin loving me like Christ loved the church.
A million heartbreaks are worth waiting on the one who needs no convincing. The one whose feet must not be coerced nor drug into the chapel. The one who doesn't say things like, "I have to..." but says the one who says, "I get to...". It's worth searching for a man who wants to commit his life to you not because you're cute and you will provide free dinner, laundry, love making, and housekeeping for the rest of his life, but because he understands the call of a husband. And not only does he understand that call, but he wants to step up to the plate and he wants to live it out. And that means when you're being unlovable, he's going to love you anyway. And when your going through rough patches, he is still committed to you whole heartedly. When your body starts doing strange things thanks to time and babies, he still sees your beauty because it's deeper than skin. When you're burdened, he helps shoulder the weight. He steps up to lead in all things but considers your thoughts and feelings before moving forward and making selfish decisions. And it means that no matter what, he doesn't give up on you. On your marriage. He pursues, he initiates, and he never, ever stops.
Aaron is a catch. Not to brag, I'm just being honest here. You name it, he's got it. It's nothing but clear evidence of God's mercy and grace that we ended up together. It was a pure miracle that no other girl snatched him up before I was able to win his heart over. And trust me, I'm sure they tried. I am not the only girl he ever dated, although there weren't many. He wasn't a disposable dater by any means. He had a few long term relationships before we met, and they were with really great girls. I don't personally know any of them, but I would ask him about those girls because I wanted to know his past. I also wanted to know why he would choose me over them because it sounded like they had a whole lot going for them. But Aaron, being a man of great character said, "Every time marriage was brought up, something didn't feel right. I never had a peace about it, and although it was hard, I knew I had to break off that relationship. It wasn't fair to continue it if I knew it wasn't going to result in marriage. When I talked about it with you, I never felt that way and that was the first and only time that ever happened."
You can't make anyone do anything. You can beg, guilt, plead, and present a really convincing argument, but you can't make anyone do anything. You can't make anyone love you if they don't want to. You can't make them marry you. You can't make them stay married to you despite the popular belief that "divorce is not an option." I get it. I ignorantly said that a thousand times over when I was single. Of course, it makes lovely sense. Why in the world would you ever commit your life to someone who openly admitted that divorce was actually an option for them? That would be foolish! Don't do that, okay? But a harsh fact of life is that you can't make anyone stay married to you. God gave mankind free will, and that means we have to freedom to break our vows, chase after the things of the flesh, and live our lives in sharp contrast to his will. That means that just because one person is willing, the other one doesn't have to be. And it means just because one has committed, the other can change their mind. The scary thing about marriage is that it truly is built on trust and all you can do is your part.
A few weeks before our wedding, Aaron and I made a video about how we met and about why we were excited to get married. I think that's a simple question worth asking, don't you? Sometimes I hear people share about their relationship and I just want to say, "So what is it about this person that you love? Why do you want to marry them?" For all couples, this should be a no-brainer that can be answered without much thought. Really, the answers should be on the tip of their tongues. Not those simple little generic answers, but seriously convincing, thought out answers. I couldn't wait to hear why Aaron wanted to marry me. And you know what he said? He said, "The bible talks about how husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the church, and today, I truly get to begin doing that." Did you catch that? I get to. Not, I have to. Not, I'll try to. I get to. That's why he was excited to marry me. Not because of any one particular thing about me but because he couldn't wait to begin loving me like Christ loved the church.
A million heartbreaks are worth waiting on the one who needs no convincing. The one whose feet must not be coerced nor drug into the chapel. The one who doesn't say things like, "I have to..." but says the one who says, "I get to...". It's worth searching for a man who wants to commit his life to you not because you're cute and you will provide free dinner, laundry, love making, and housekeeping for the rest of his life, but because he understands the call of a husband. And not only does he understand that call, but he wants to step up to the plate and he wants to live it out. And that means when you're being unlovable, he's going to love you anyway. And when your going through rough patches, he is still committed to you whole heartedly. When your body starts doing strange things thanks to time and babies, he still sees your beauty because it's deeper than skin. When you're burdened, he helps shoulder the weight. He steps up to lead in all things but considers your thoughts and feelings before moving forward and making selfish decisions. And it means that no matter what, he doesn't give up on you. On your marriage. He pursues, he initiates, and he never, ever stops.
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