Sugar Bug, don't be surprised...
I am half way through my pregnancy and haven't blogged about it very much. Honestly, that kind of surprises me. In fact, you might be surprised to learn that I haven't bought a single thing for Sugar Bug. I haven't even thought of names. Seriously. I have no particular names in mind for a boy or a girl. I also have zero nursery ideas. Don't feel too bad for Sugar Bug, my mom has already made some pretty cute purchases for this baby, so they're off to a good start. But I haven't done anything at this point. Maybe that will change after we know Sugar Bug's secret next week.
Here's the thing, it still hasn't quite sunk in that we'll have a baby in 4 months. For a planner like myself, you'd think I would already have everything ready to go. I've been dreaming about being a mother since I was, oh I don't know, a two year old sitting in the middle the living room breastfeeding my baby doll. It doesn't take little girls long to figure out how to be a momma. And you better believe I've thought of a thousand names over the years, too.... all of which are not coming back to mind right now. So part of me wonders what the deal is, as I'm sure you might be wondering too, but part of me remembers that when we spend so much time running ahead and hustling to get things done, we can't fully enjoy and soak up the season we're in. This is a lesson I've well learned.
The night I took my first positive pregnancy test, I told Aaron that my ultimate goal for the next 9 months was to be calm and to enjoy it. Not just the pregnancy per say, which has been super easy... so easy that sometimes I forget I'm pregnant... but to enjoy this season. This season that is coming to a close. And you know, when I stop to really think about it, maybe that's why I'm unrushed. Because for 3 years, the Lord has given me days of pure sweetness that I would have probably taken for granted had I not spent so much time climbing out of a valley to get there. Before Aaron walked into my life, it was pretty amazing. But the day I met him, my life changed for the better in ways I didn't know were possible. And we all know that big changes can cause stress. Big changes can shift our focus from where we are to where we were, and the moment I realized I was pregnant, I knew we had a few months to be us. To be Aaron and Brittnye. To lay in bed eating dessert on Friday nights. To dress up in crazy outfits and spend a weekend choreographing a ridiculous dance in a failed attempt to win a contest. I knew that long summer vacations wouldn't be the norm. That having dinner in bed while watching Netflix reruns would come to a complete halt. I understood that our long conversations would be interrupted, that our alone time would be limited, and that our lives would never again be the same. Change is good, but change is change, and I wanted to soak up every moment the two of us would have because these are sweet days that we won't get back.
Sugar Bug, I want you to know that we are really looking forward to having you here with us. We've prayed for you, God has answered our prayers by giving us the privilege of being your parents, and I am certain that you will make our lives even better than we could imagine. In fact, tonight, your dad and I sat in bed eating Pie Bar, and clearly you loved it as much as we did. (Don't worry, I saved some for us to enjoy tomorrow, too!) I finished half of my dessert, and for the first unmistakable time, I felt you move. Really, it felt like someone was thumping me from the inside as you clearly did a sugar induced happy dance. I grabbed your dad's hand and said, "Looks like someone else enjoyed Pie Bar, too." And as he felt you tumbling around, the biggest smile crossed his face. It was really sweet. He's a great man, and I just know that you're going to love him so much. You'll probably look just like him, too. Good thing for the both of us, he's quite the looker. I'm getting off track here....
With the basics of biology, you know that without him, I wouldn't have you. And so not only do I want you to know that we can hardly wait to meet you, I want you to know that you will hold my heart, but your dad has my heart. This might seem a little unfair and biased, as children these days are the center of attention and affection, but one day it will make sense to you when you've found the one God has for you. You see, your dad chose me. Of all of the women in the world, he chose me to be his forever. He didn't have to do that. There are days that I'm still completely surprised he did. I can't wait to share our love story with you because it is so divine and so incredible and you'll come to see how much of a sweet miracle you are to me. But I want you to know that you dad, well, he's my best friend. We're a team. We're on your side, and we want you to be on our team, too, but we're the captains. We'll be your biggest fans, we'll love and support you so much that you'll probably be annoyed with us, but one day you're going to grow up, sprout your own wings, and you're going to fly away from our nest to create your own. And although that will be a tough day for us all, and of course we'll want you to come back and visit every time you get a chance, it'll just be us again. We'll end this thing how we started. Just the two of us. And I don't want to lose that in between, you know. So don't be surprised if you wake up in the middle of the night to tell us that you had a bad dream and we're eating dessert in bed. And don't be surprised when we make plans for you to stay with your grandparents for a week each year so we can get away - just the two of us. We'll take you on vacations, too, so don't you worry about feeling left out. Don't be surprised, when 10 years down the road, a "throw back" Justin Timberlake song comes on the radio and we bust out weird dance moves that we will never be able to forget. You see, you're getting to join this craziness and we're thrilled. But we've worked really hard to get where we are, and we've already decided that we're going to fight with all we have to keep that alive forever.
So, now we will begin the countdown. Next week, we get to learn your little secret, Sugar Bug. We can't wait to catch a glimpse of your sweet face on the sonogram screen and get our first look at your tiny, perfectly formed body. To see your little hands and feet, and to watch you move and squirm. The last time we saw you, you resembled a chubby shrimp, so I can hardly contain my excitement for this one. I've already enjoyed my time with you, and I know we've got many good days ahead of us!
Here's the thing, it still hasn't quite sunk in that we'll have a baby in 4 months. For a planner like myself, you'd think I would already have everything ready to go. I've been dreaming about being a mother since I was, oh I don't know, a two year old sitting in the middle the living room breastfeeding my baby doll. It doesn't take little girls long to figure out how to be a momma. And you better believe I've thought of a thousand names over the years, too.... all of which are not coming back to mind right now. So part of me wonders what the deal is, as I'm sure you might be wondering too, but part of me remembers that when we spend so much time running ahead and hustling to get things done, we can't fully enjoy and soak up the season we're in. This is a lesson I've well learned.
The night I took my first positive pregnancy test, I told Aaron that my ultimate goal for the next 9 months was to be calm and to enjoy it. Not just the pregnancy per say, which has been super easy... so easy that sometimes I forget I'm pregnant... but to enjoy this season. This season that is coming to a close. And you know, when I stop to really think about it, maybe that's why I'm unrushed. Because for 3 years, the Lord has given me days of pure sweetness that I would have probably taken for granted had I not spent so much time climbing out of a valley to get there. Before Aaron walked into my life, it was pretty amazing. But the day I met him, my life changed for the better in ways I didn't know were possible. And we all know that big changes can cause stress. Big changes can shift our focus from where we are to where we were, and the moment I realized I was pregnant, I knew we had a few months to be us. To be Aaron and Brittnye. To lay in bed eating dessert on Friday nights. To dress up in crazy outfits and spend a weekend choreographing a ridiculous dance in a failed attempt to win a contest. I knew that long summer vacations wouldn't be the norm. That having dinner in bed while watching Netflix reruns would come to a complete halt. I understood that our long conversations would be interrupted, that our alone time would be limited, and that our lives would never again be the same. Change is good, but change is change, and I wanted to soak up every moment the two of us would have because these are sweet days that we won't get back.
Sugar Bug, I want you to know that we are really looking forward to having you here with us. We've prayed for you, God has answered our prayers by giving us the privilege of being your parents, and I am certain that you will make our lives even better than we could imagine. In fact, tonight, your dad and I sat in bed eating Pie Bar, and clearly you loved it as much as we did. (Don't worry, I saved some for us to enjoy tomorrow, too!) I finished half of my dessert, and for the first unmistakable time, I felt you move. Really, it felt like someone was thumping me from the inside as you clearly did a sugar induced happy dance. I grabbed your dad's hand and said, "Looks like someone else enjoyed Pie Bar, too." And as he felt you tumbling around, the biggest smile crossed his face. It was really sweet. He's a great man, and I just know that you're going to love him so much. You'll probably look just like him, too. Good thing for the both of us, he's quite the looker. I'm getting off track here....
With the basics of biology, you know that without him, I wouldn't have you. And so not only do I want you to know that we can hardly wait to meet you, I want you to know that you will hold my heart, but your dad has my heart. This might seem a little unfair and biased, as children these days are the center of attention and affection, but one day it will make sense to you when you've found the one God has for you. You see, your dad chose me. Of all of the women in the world, he chose me to be his forever. He didn't have to do that. There are days that I'm still completely surprised he did. I can't wait to share our love story with you because it is so divine and so incredible and you'll come to see how much of a sweet miracle you are to me. But I want you to know that you dad, well, he's my best friend. We're a team. We're on your side, and we want you to be on our team, too, but we're the captains. We'll be your biggest fans, we'll love and support you so much that you'll probably be annoyed with us, but one day you're going to grow up, sprout your own wings, and you're going to fly away from our nest to create your own. And although that will be a tough day for us all, and of course we'll want you to come back and visit every time you get a chance, it'll just be us again. We'll end this thing how we started. Just the two of us. And I don't want to lose that in between, you know. So don't be surprised if you wake up in the middle of the night to tell us that you had a bad dream and we're eating dessert in bed. And don't be surprised when we make plans for you to stay with your grandparents for a week each year so we can get away - just the two of us. We'll take you on vacations, too, so don't you worry about feeling left out. Don't be surprised, when 10 years down the road, a "throw back" Justin Timberlake song comes on the radio and we bust out weird dance moves that we will never be able to forget. You see, you're getting to join this craziness and we're thrilled. But we've worked really hard to get where we are, and we've already decided that we're going to fight with all we have to keep that alive forever.
So, now we will begin the countdown. Next week, we get to learn your little secret, Sugar Bug. We can't wait to catch a glimpse of your sweet face on the sonogram screen and get our first look at your tiny, perfectly formed body. To see your little hands and feet, and to watch you move and squirm. The last time we saw you, you resembled a chubby shrimp, so I can hardly contain my excitement for this one. I've already enjoyed my time with you, and I know we've got many good days ahead of us!
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