when two don't give up, two succeed...
I don't wash my hair every day. I used to. I used to wake up every morning and spend way too long getting ready. That has slowly declined over the years. In high school, I am certain I spent at least 15 minutes on my eye liner, and my hair got a good hour of attention. Honestly, it's probably grateful for the intermittent care these days. I read somewhere that not washing it on a daily basis is actually a good thing. It's not that I don't care about my appearance. I do. I just don't care that much. No, but really, if you stayed home with someone who spit up all over you, occasionally even getting it in your hair, you'd come to realize that it's futile to spend a great amount of time getting ready in the mornings. I have my whole routine down to less than half an hour these days, and if you know me well, then you know that is nothing short of a miracle.
Before Aaron and I got married we talked about having kids. I was in the latter half of my 20's, so I didn't want to wait too long. He felt that we needed to give ourselves a year to adjust to marriage and all of the changes that accompany it before we brought another person to the mix. A few weeks before our first anniversary, I began bringing up the subject. I told Aaron that I was ready to start a family and he said, "I want to go to grad school." I'll admit that I was ticked. It wasn't a surprise. I didn't hide my feelings about it, either. And as I cried my way through the next few days, the Lord began to challenge me. I had always talked about submitting to my husband and trusting him to lead our family, but when it came down to it, that's really the last thing I wanted to do. I wanted things to go my way. I wanted him to stick with the original plan. I didn't want to wait any longer. But it was time for the rubber to hit the road, and so I told him that I would honor his wishes, if he truly felt that it was the best decision for our family in the long run, and I would put children on the back burner. I knew grad school would be difficult enough without having a baby, and so I told myself that if we were going to wait, then we were going to live up the next few years. And that's exactly what we did. A decision that not only turned out to be a great one, but one that we don't regret.
When the time finally came and we announced that Annabeth was on the way, people warned us that our marriage would drastically change. It doesn't take much thought to know that bringing a child into your home will greatly impact your current situation. But it sounded like things might get pretty tense. Like we might be at each other's throats often. From what we heard, it seemed like we could expect a lot of arguing and fighting. That he could expect to come home to a bossy wife all the while feeling replaced, and I could expect to carry the burden of child rearing on my own. From what we heard, it seemed like the good years of our marriage, the fun and exciting years, were coming to an end and we could expect mostly stress and frustration. And so we vowed that this wouldn't be the case. We'd both do whatever was needed to ensure that our marriage continued to thrive and to be fun because this is the rest of our lives. If we couldn't maintain a good marriage with a child, how in the world would we make it to forever?
Annabeth's arrival has changed things. We don't go out as much as we used to. We eat almost every meal at home now, and we don't get quite as much sleep. We've had to give up a few things, but we've gained so much more. Because somehow, we talk more now than we did before she was born, and we've found new, creative ways to have fun. But most of all, we've found a greater joy than we ever expected as we've worked together to raise our child. Because this is real life. Life is full of twists and turns and seasons that change, and saying "I do," means that you figure out how to make it work. If marriage was easy, no one would get divorced. If raising children wasn't hard, it wouldn't begin with labor. But when two work together, they can accomplish much. When two put a lot in, they get a lot out. When two don't give up, no matter what they go through, two succeed.
I spent a little more time putting on my make up today. It's been at least 6 months since I dusted eye shadow across my eyelids, but a nice dinner called for the occasion. I washed my hair, sprayed on the perfume that Aaron really likes, dropped our baby off with her grandparents, and met Aaron for an early dinner at our favorite restaurant. Our lives certainly looked different four years ago. But thanks to the Lord's divine planning and continuous help, I look forward to seeing what next year holds because it seems that each one just keeps getting better!
Before Aaron and I got married we talked about having kids. I was in the latter half of my 20's, so I didn't want to wait too long. He felt that we needed to give ourselves a year to adjust to marriage and all of the changes that accompany it before we brought another person to the mix. A few weeks before our first anniversary, I began bringing up the subject. I told Aaron that I was ready to start a family and he said, "I want to go to grad school." I'll admit that I was ticked. It wasn't a surprise. I didn't hide my feelings about it, either. And as I cried my way through the next few days, the Lord began to challenge me. I had always talked about submitting to my husband and trusting him to lead our family, but when it came down to it, that's really the last thing I wanted to do. I wanted things to go my way. I wanted him to stick with the original plan. I didn't want to wait any longer. But it was time for the rubber to hit the road, and so I told him that I would honor his wishes, if he truly felt that it was the best decision for our family in the long run, and I would put children on the back burner. I knew grad school would be difficult enough without having a baby, and so I told myself that if we were going to wait, then we were going to live up the next few years. And that's exactly what we did. A decision that not only turned out to be a great one, but one that we don't regret.
When the time finally came and we announced that Annabeth was on the way, people warned us that our marriage would drastically change. It doesn't take much thought to know that bringing a child into your home will greatly impact your current situation. But it sounded like things might get pretty tense. Like we might be at each other's throats often. From what we heard, it seemed like we could expect a lot of arguing and fighting. That he could expect to come home to a bossy wife all the while feeling replaced, and I could expect to carry the burden of child rearing on my own. From what we heard, it seemed like the good years of our marriage, the fun and exciting years, were coming to an end and we could expect mostly stress and frustration. And so we vowed that this wouldn't be the case. We'd both do whatever was needed to ensure that our marriage continued to thrive and to be fun because this is the rest of our lives. If we couldn't maintain a good marriage with a child, how in the world would we make it to forever?
Annabeth's arrival has changed things. We don't go out as much as we used to. We eat almost every meal at home now, and we don't get quite as much sleep. We've had to give up a few things, but we've gained so much more. Because somehow, we talk more now than we did before she was born, and we've found new, creative ways to have fun. But most of all, we've found a greater joy than we ever expected as we've worked together to raise our child. Because this is real life. Life is full of twists and turns and seasons that change, and saying "I do," means that you figure out how to make it work. If marriage was easy, no one would get divorced. If raising children wasn't hard, it wouldn't begin with labor. But when two work together, they can accomplish much. When two put a lot in, they get a lot out. When two don't give up, no matter what they go through, two succeed.
I spent a little more time putting on my make up today. It's been at least 6 months since I dusted eye shadow across my eyelids, but a nice dinner called for the occasion. I washed my hair, sprayed on the perfume that Aaron really likes, dropped our baby off with her grandparents, and met Aaron for an early dinner at our favorite restaurant. Our lives certainly looked different four years ago. But thanks to the Lord's divine planning and continuous help, I look forward to seeing what next year holds because it seems that each one just keeps getting better!
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