love and blue jeans...
"Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth." - 1 John 3:18
It's easy to say "I love you." In fact, it's too easy sometimes. It takes about a half a second and you can say it even if you don't really mean it. Of course, love is just a word we throw around. I love my family, I love naps, I love getting my hair done, and I love my dog. I love chocolate, clean sheets, rainy days, and vacations to the beach. That's not a complete list by any means. I love a lot of things and that list changes over time. But when I look at my list of what I love and when I look at God's word about what I should love, I realize that one is rooted in selfishness and the other is purely selfless.
"This is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another... This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers." - 1 John 3:11 & 16
It happened when I was walking through my lowest valley. Thinking back on that season of life now, it honestly seems like a bad dream rather than a period of time lived out in reality. There are parts I remember really well and there are many that I have forgotten. Each one, I believe, put into the right category by God's grace. Because the things I need to remember show me the love and grace of God, and the things I have forgotten do the same. But there was a weekend in December that I still remember as if it was yesterday. It's one of those memories that God has and is and will continue to use for the rest of my life.
I survived that dreadful fall and winter by the hand of God and God alone. People were constantly telling me that they were lifting me up in prayer. Some people avoided saying anything all together but I knew they were praying, too. I had so many friends who said things like, "Please don't hesitate to call me if you need anything." I knew they would make themselves available if needed but the last thing I wanted to do was feel like a burden to those around me. And, frankly, I didn't know what I needed half of the time anyway. God met so many of my needs through my family members who were a great blessing. That's the beauty and the gift of having a good family. But my family couldn't meet all of my needs. Neither could my friends. Only God had the capacity to do that and He knew exactly when to provide what I needed in the very way I most needed it.
I met Gale as a college student. I was placed in her mentor group by divine intervention, and the first time I met her I was sold. She had signed up to take on a group of girls and minister to us each week, which is no small task. She invited us into her home every Wednesday night, cooked us dinner, and made us feel incredibly loved. I continued my relationship with Gale after I graduated and she was one of those faithful women who continued ministering to and encouraging me through every season. I never once felt judged by Gale. She never acted odd around me or gave me a lecture to tell me what I should have done or could have done better. She never treated my any differently from when I thought I had my life together and when I clearly didn't. And so that first Sunday in December she called and asked if I would like to go shopping. It's never easy to go through life's valleys, but the holidays made it about a hundred times harder. Much of my time was spent alone in misery. I was at my lowest, feeling rejected, alienated, unloved, and unwanted. And although I had always enjoyed Sundays, they become the hardest day of the week. Fitting that she would plan our shopping trip then. And oddly enough, although Gale didn't know it at the time, I actually needed some new jeans due to my loss of appetite. We spent a couple of hours at the Gap. It was long enough to lift my spirits and to find a pair of jeans. Of course, I knew Gale loved me without a trip to the mall, but those few hours were proof that I, in fact, was cared for and loved - not just by Gale but by God.
Actions speak louder than words. We can tell people we love them all day long but if our actions don't show it they aren't likely to believe it. Jesus' actions and words lined up so that one could not be separated from the other. He didn't simply speak of love, he lived out love. And love is a sacrifice. For Christ, it was his life. For us it may be our time, agenda, money, desires, or shifting our focus from ourselves onto those around us. There are a million and one ways we can show love, but we've got to choose to do it. And if we want a hurting world to understand the love of God, it won't come through convincing arguments, facts, debates, or judgement. It won't come from telling them how wrong they are, how right we are, what they could have done, should have done, or need to start doing. It begins with love. And when people feel loved, true love - God's love, they begin to change because it's God, not us, who changes hearts. It's God who removes hearts of stone and replaces them with hearts of flesh. He is the one who opens blind eyes and binds up the broken. It's God who transforms and renews. And God asks us, flawed and imperfect as we are, to be a part of this process. To love those around us as He loves them. To care for them as He cares for them. Not just with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.
It's easy to say "I love you." In fact, it's too easy sometimes. It takes about a half a second and you can say it even if you don't really mean it. Of course, love is just a word we throw around. I love my family, I love naps, I love getting my hair done, and I love my dog. I love chocolate, clean sheets, rainy days, and vacations to the beach. That's not a complete list by any means. I love a lot of things and that list changes over time. But when I look at my list of what I love and when I look at God's word about what I should love, I realize that one is rooted in selfishness and the other is purely selfless.
"This is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another... This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers." - 1 John 3:11 & 16
It happened when I was walking through my lowest valley. Thinking back on that season of life now, it honestly seems like a bad dream rather than a period of time lived out in reality. There are parts I remember really well and there are many that I have forgotten. Each one, I believe, put into the right category by God's grace. Because the things I need to remember show me the love and grace of God, and the things I have forgotten do the same. But there was a weekend in December that I still remember as if it was yesterday. It's one of those memories that God has and is and will continue to use for the rest of my life.
I survived that dreadful fall and winter by the hand of God and God alone. People were constantly telling me that they were lifting me up in prayer. Some people avoided saying anything all together but I knew they were praying, too. I had so many friends who said things like, "Please don't hesitate to call me if you need anything." I knew they would make themselves available if needed but the last thing I wanted to do was feel like a burden to those around me. And, frankly, I didn't know what I needed half of the time anyway. God met so many of my needs through my family members who were a great blessing. That's the beauty and the gift of having a good family. But my family couldn't meet all of my needs. Neither could my friends. Only God had the capacity to do that and He knew exactly when to provide what I needed in the very way I most needed it.
I met Gale as a college student. I was placed in her mentor group by divine intervention, and the first time I met her I was sold. She had signed up to take on a group of girls and minister to us each week, which is no small task. She invited us into her home every Wednesday night, cooked us dinner, and made us feel incredibly loved. I continued my relationship with Gale after I graduated and she was one of those faithful women who continued ministering to and encouraging me through every season. I never once felt judged by Gale. She never acted odd around me or gave me a lecture to tell me what I should have done or could have done better. She never treated my any differently from when I thought I had my life together and when I clearly didn't. And so that first Sunday in December she called and asked if I would like to go shopping. It's never easy to go through life's valleys, but the holidays made it about a hundred times harder. Much of my time was spent alone in misery. I was at my lowest, feeling rejected, alienated, unloved, and unwanted. And although I had always enjoyed Sundays, they become the hardest day of the week. Fitting that she would plan our shopping trip then. And oddly enough, although Gale didn't know it at the time, I actually needed some new jeans due to my loss of appetite. We spent a couple of hours at the Gap. It was long enough to lift my spirits and to find a pair of jeans. Of course, I knew Gale loved me without a trip to the mall, but those few hours were proof that I, in fact, was cared for and loved - not just by Gale but by God.
Actions speak louder than words. We can tell people we love them all day long but if our actions don't show it they aren't likely to believe it. Jesus' actions and words lined up so that one could not be separated from the other. He didn't simply speak of love, he lived out love. And love is a sacrifice. For Christ, it was his life. For us it may be our time, agenda, money, desires, or shifting our focus from ourselves onto those around us. There are a million and one ways we can show love, but we've got to choose to do it. And if we want a hurting world to understand the love of God, it won't come through convincing arguments, facts, debates, or judgement. It won't come from telling them how wrong they are, how right we are, what they could have done, should have done, or need to start doing. It begins with love. And when people feel loved, true love - God's love, they begin to change because it's God, not us, who changes hearts. It's God who removes hearts of stone and replaces them with hearts of flesh. He is the one who opens blind eyes and binds up the broken. It's God who transforms and renews. And God asks us, flawed and imperfect as we are, to be a part of this process. To love those around us as He loves them. To care for them as He cares for them. Not just with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.
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