the details don't matter...
I think I've written about Mary and Martha a dozen times. I am always pulled back to this story. Maybe it's because I'm a woman, or a planner, or a homemaker. Maybe it's because I tend to feel better about myself when I'm busy. Or maybe it's just because this incredibly short story is packed with so many lessons that the Lord is still teaching me. Nevertheless, I find myself thinking back on Mary and Martha tonight and pondering what is better.
Aaron's aunt and uncle drove through town on Friday evening and joined us for dinner. I love family gatherings. Any opportunity I get to spend a meal with people I love is a true treasure. And, believe it or not, I enjoy hosting family dinners. I don't do it as often as I probably should, but I always count it an honor to feed my loved ones. Of course, it's easy to have them over because they're family. They'll eat whatever I cook and don't mind the messy state of my house. Clearly, they're a gracious bunch. But there's the Martha in me that wants everything to look perfect. I want the house to be clean, the meal to be delicious, and the environment to be inviting. I have found myself spending more time worrying about details instead of giving my full attention to spending quality time with my guests. There are glasses that need to be refilled, plates that need to be washed, and dessert that needs to be served. And just when I start to think that all of my perfectly planned details and hard work have made for an unforgettable experience, I wonder if those things really are for the better.
I know that Mary was clearly doing the better thing. Obviously, sitting at the feet of Jesus is always the better thing. Always. And so while Mary gets credit here, I think Martha should get a little nod, too. Because Martha was the one who opened her home to Jesus. She was the one to invite him in, host, provide, and prepare the meal. It goes without saying that she loved Jesus, too. She wanted him there. But the details were distracting. They were keeping her attention. They were pulling her away from the thing that really mattered. From Jesus. From her guests. From authentic fellowship. And that's where I think we've got it all wrong.
You see, the details don't matter. I know that sounds like crazy talk in this HGTV Pinterest world. But they really don't. They are that. Details. And yet we spend so much time, way too much time, on the details that we miss it. We miss those precious moments with the ones we love. We miss making sweet memories and building deeper bonds because we're breaking our necks to ensure that everything looks just right. I hosted my family for Father's Day a few weeks ago and I bet you that they can't even recall every item that was on the menu. Because I believe in full disclosure, I'll happily share that this meal was eaten on paper plates at card tables. I am confident no one remembers the color of our paper goods or what anyone was wearing. And I highly doubt they even knew it literally took me almost 7 hours to clean my house. But I bet they remember the conversations. The stories and memories that were shared. I certainly remember the look on the faces of the fathers as they read their cards. And I remember the tears in my Grandad's eyes as he hugged me and thanked me for the words I had written him. It wasn't a perfect event by any standards, but God uses moments like that to show me that time spent with people, rather than trying to perfect things, is always better.
So maybe you're a Martha, too. Maybe you need to give yourself a break and realize that this pressure for picture perfect isn't coming from the Lord. In fact, the only person applying that pressure is probably you. Because in all reality, the details are forgotten - even the best planned, perfectly executed ones. No one will remember them. And details don't change lives. They don't deepen relationships or strengthen bonds. Details don't create depth and value like fellowship, like spending quality time with the ones you love. Jesus knew that. Mary was learning that. And I have a feeling that before the night was over, Martha had figured it out.
As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” - Luke 10:38-42
Aaron's aunt and uncle drove through town on Friday evening and joined us for dinner. I love family gatherings. Any opportunity I get to spend a meal with people I love is a true treasure. And, believe it or not, I enjoy hosting family dinners. I don't do it as often as I probably should, but I always count it an honor to feed my loved ones. Of course, it's easy to have them over because they're family. They'll eat whatever I cook and don't mind the messy state of my house. Clearly, they're a gracious bunch. But there's the Martha in me that wants everything to look perfect. I want the house to be clean, the meal to be delicious, and the environment to be inviting. I have found myself spending more time worrying about details instead of giving my full attention to spending quality time with my guests. There are glasses that need to be refilled, plates that need to be washed, and dessert that needs to be served. And just when I start to think that all of my perfectly planned details and hard work have made for an unforgettable experience, I wonder if those things really are for the better.
I know that Mary was clearly doing the better thing. Obviously, sitting at the feet of Jesus is always the better thing. Always. And so while Mary gets credit here, I think Martha should get a little nod, too. Because Martha was the one who opened her home to Jesus. She was the one to invite him in, host, provide, and prepare the meal. It goes without saying that she loved Jesus, too. She wanted him there. But the details were distracting. They were keeping her attention. They were pulling her away from the thing that really mattered. From Jesus. From her guests. From authentic fellowship. And that's where I think we've got it all wrong.
You see, the details don't matter. I know that sounds like crazy talk in this HGTV Pinterest world. But they really don't. They are that. Details. And yet we spend so much time, way too much time, on the details that we miss it. We miss those precious moments with the ones we love. We miss making sweet memories and building deeper bonds because we're breaking our necks to ensure that everything looks just right. I hosted my family for Father's Day a few weeks ago and I bet you that they can't even recall every item that was on the menu. Because I believe in full disclosure, I'll happily share that this meal was eaten on paper plates at card tables. I am confident no one remembers the color of our paper goods or what anyone was wearing. And I highly doubt they even knew it literally took me almost 7 hours to clean my house. But I bet they remember the conversations. The stories and memories that were shared. I certainly remember the look on the faces of the fathers as they read their cards. And I remember the tears in my Grandad's eyes as he hugged me and thanked me for the words I had written him. It wasn't a perfect event by any standards, but God uses moments like that to show me that time spent with people, rather than trying to perfect things, is always better.
So maybe you're a Martha, too. Maybe you need to give yourself a break and realize that this pressure for picture perfect isn't coming from the Lord. In fact, the only person applying that pressure is probably you. Because in all reality, the details are forgotten - even the best planned, perfectly executed ones. No one will remember them. And details don't change lives. They don't deepen relationships or strengthen bonds. Details don't create depth and value like fellowship, like spending quality time with the ones you love. Jesus knew that. Mary was learning that. And I have a feeling that before the night was over, Martha had figured it out.
Comments
Post a Comment