because God does good things in the midst of hard circumstances...
I feel like I've been having writer's block. I don't know if it's so much a block as a fact that time is flying past me and my brain is being stretched to its limits. I'm starting to feel like I can't keep everything straight much less get it all accomplished. But it's these moments of stress, of struggle, and of feeling overwhelmed, that I stop and praise the Lord for a memory and a sound mind.
June has been a tough month. In fact, today I just realized that I have been referring to the past week as "June." Every email I have sent since last week has gone like this, "I'd like to meet next week on June 13." So maybe I should say that July has already proven to be a tough month. Eight days in and I'm a whole month behind. But these past 8 days have seemed like weeks themselves, and so I hope I can get my head in the game soon.
A week and a half ago, my family decided it was time that my Nana moved into a nursing home. You can only live in denial for so long, and we stretched denial out for quite some time. Of course, everyone knew that she was changing. We could tell in big and little ways, but we hoped that maybe it was something else. Maybe she wasn't forgetting things, maybe she was just hard of hearing. Maybe she just needed glasses to see better. Maybe she wasn't taking her medicine properly, or maybe she was taking too much of it. Maybe the change in behavior, the lapses in memory, were related to poor circulation. Surely it could be fixed, or at least slowed down. No body wanted to hear that Dementia was the real root of the problem, that it was the villain slowly causing her to forget how to put on her make-up, how to read, what the date was, or what she ate for lunch. But an official diagnosis would only confirm everyone's fear, and it all came to a head at the end of June.
My mom called to tell me that this was happening. I knew it would come, but I was hoping it wouldn't. I was hoping there would be some way to manage around it. The thought really bothered me. I couldn't shrug my shoulders and say, "Oh well, it is what it is. This is just what happens when you get old," because this was Nana. The grandmother I spent almost every weekend with as child. The one who let me play in her make-up and dress up in her fancy clothes, stuffed bra included. She played a role in many of my sweet childhood memories. She was a fun lady, always full of silly comments and compliments. I thought about how she would make me hot chocolate on Saturday mornings in a Mickey Mouse mug so that we could drink "coffee" together. We'd drive around and look at fancy houses to determine which one we'd live in when she won the lottery as we headed to the Dollar Store to stock up on all sorts of junk we didn't need. And so many sweet memories flooded my mind as I sat in the bathtub and cried while thinking about what this move might mean for her.
Tears poured down my face and I began to pray for her. I thought, "She is going to be so scared." And the Lord said, "I will never leave her nor forsake her." I thought, "She is going to feel so alone." And the Lord said, "I will be with her wherever she goes." And I realized that although this transition was so difficult, so scary, so hard, that she wasn't moving into this new stage of life by herself. The Lord was walking through it with her. And although she may have moments where she forgets, moments where her mind can no longer comprehend, the Lord was not going to forget about her. No, He was going to faithfully see her through this transition just as He has through all of the others. If there's one thing my family has seen time and time again, it's God's faithfulness no matter what we face. He has been a constant source of comfort, a good Shepherd leading us by streams of still waters, no matter what valley we've walked through. His goodness and mercy has followed us all of our days.
And so each day we've gotten updates on Nana. We've heard how well she is adjusting and how easily she is fitting in. How she's already starting to make new friends with the other ladies who live in the Memory Care Unit with her, and how she's really taking to the nurses who have been working with her. And although we've been surprised, I'm not really sure why. Isn't that God, after all? Didn't He promise to work all things out for the good of those who love Him? Sure, it's not what we would have asked for, not what she would have asked for, but God has done a good thing despite the struggle and the sadness. And so we give Him all the praise. We thank Him that His mercies are new every day and that His strength is strong enough to hold us up when we begin to feel like we're falling apart. And we call on the name of the Lord, the God who is mighty to save, because we are constantly reminded that He always comes to the rescue in our time of need.
"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me." - Psalm 23:4
June has been a tough month. In fact, today I just realized that I have been referring to the past week as "June." Every email I have sent since last week has gone like this, "I'd like to meet next week on June 13." So maybe I should say that July has already proven to be a tough month. Eight days in and I'm a whole month behind. But these past 8 days have seemed like weeks themselves, and so I hope I can get my head in the game soon.
A week and a half ago, my family decided it was time that my Nana moved into a nursing home. You can only live in denial for so long, and we stretched denial out for quite some time. Of course, everyone knew that she was changing. We could tell in big and little ways, but we hoped that maybe it was something else. Maybe she wasn't forgetting things, maybe she was just hard of hearing. Maybe she just needed glasses to see better. Maybe she wasn't taking her medicine properly, or maybe she was taking too much of it. Maybe the change in behavior, the lapses in memory, were related to poor circulation. Surely it could be fixed, or at least slowed down. No body wanted to hear that Dementia was the real root of the problem, that it was the villain slowly causing her to forget how to put on her make-up, how to read, what the date was, or what she ate for lunch. But an official diagnosis would only confirm everyone's fear, and it all came to a head at the end of June.
My mom called to tell me that this was happening. I knew it would come, but I was hoping it wouldn't. I was hoping there would be some way to manage around it. The thought really bothered me. I couldn't shrug my shoulders and say, "Oh well, it is what it is. This is just what happens when you get old," because this was Nana. The grandmother I spent almost every weekend with as child. The one who let me play in her make-up and dress up in her fancy clothes, stuffed bra included. She played a role in many of my sweet childhood memories. She was a fun lady, always full of silly comments and compliments. I thought about how she would make me hot chocolate on Saturday mornings in a Mickey Mouse mug so that we could drink "coffee" together. We'd drive around and look at fancy houses to determine which one we'd live in when she won the lottery as we headed to the Dollar Store to stock up on all sorts of junk we didn't need. And so many sweet memories flooded my mind as I sat in the bathtub and cried while thinking about what this move might mean for her.
Tears poured down my face and I began to pray for her. I thought, "She is going to be so scared." And the Lord said, "I will never leave her nor forsake her." I thought, "She is going to feel so alone." And the Lord said, "I will be with her wherever she goes." And I realized that although this transition was so difficult, so scary, so hard, that she wasn't moving into this new stage of life by herself. The Lord was walking through it with her. And although she may have moments where she forgets, moments where her mind can no longer comprehend, the Lord was not going to forget about her. No, He was going to faithfully see her through this transition just as He has through all of the others. If there's one thing my family has seen time and time again, it's God's faithfulness no matter what we face. He has been a constant source of comfort, a good Shepherd leading us by streams of still waters, no matter what valley we've walked through. His goodness and mercy has followed us all of our days.
And so each day we've gotten updates on Nana. We've heard how well she is adjusting and how easily she is fitting in. How she's already starting to make new friends with the other ladies who live in the Memory Care Unit with her, and how she's really taking to the nurses who have been working with her. And although we've been surprised, I'm not really sure why. Isn't that God, after all? Didn't He promise to work all things out for the good of those who love Him? Sure, it's not what we would have asked for, not what she would have asked for, but God has done a good thing despite the struggle and the sadness. And so we give Him all the praise. We thank Him that His mercies are new every day and that His strength is strong enough to hold us up when we begin to feel like we're falling apart. And we call on the name of the Lord, the God who is mighty to save, because we are constantly reminded that He always comes to the rescue in our time of need.
"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me." - Psalm 23:4
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