blah...
July is proving to be an emotional month. Come on, July! You're supposed to be easy. But it hasn't been. It has been a month of stress, of celebration, of tears, of fear, of worry, of disappointment, and we're only half way through.
I opened my prayer journal on Tuesday night and began writing down my prayer. The truth is, it was kind of hard because I really wasn't sure what all I was feeling. You know when kids make their way to the coke fountains at restaurants and mix in a little bit of each type of drink into their cups? That's exactly what I felt like. A cup full of mixed soda. You take a drink and you really aren't sure what it is because there is no distinct flavor. It's just a drink. That's about as close as you can come to describing the taste. And I just felt. That was the closest I could come to describing my emotions. And so I wrote that. "God, I feel blah." I knew He'd understand what I meant. It's moments like that when I am thankful the Lord knows me better than I know myself. And I just trusted that even though I wasn't really sure what I needed, God would supply.
"I sought the Lord, and he answered me. He delivered my from all my fears." - Psalm 34:4
I woke up early Wednesday morning, and that was the first thing that popped into my head. I sought the Lord, and He delivered me from my fears. I repeated it over and over and over again. I sought the Lord... I sought the Lord and He delivered me from my fears. My fears of the future. My fears of what may or may not come. My fears of the unknown, of the things that are out of my control. My fears of failed plans, of desires that have been unmet. My fears that had grown and grown because I had spent more time seeking out worry than I had spent seeking out the Lord.
And I remembered that God delivers. When we seek Him, He delivers. Because He knows the future, He knows what is to come. He has nothing to fear because He controls it all. And yet I forget. I forget that God is going to work things out and that I'm included in that plan. That He promises to save the righteous. Not just sometimes, all the time. That He doesn't forget about us. He is not only aware of what's going on in our lives, but He knows exactly how to make sense of it all. And I praised the Lord that even though my mind was swimming full of thoughts, He found a way to slip in truth, a promise from His word, that I really needed to hear.
Thank you for delivering. Thank you for being brave when I feel afraid, and thank you for making yourself known when I seek you. Thank you for always taking the time to show me your truth, and thank you for being patient and gracious towards me when I forget. Most of all, thank you for understanding my thoughts, my heart, even when I don't. And thank you for always answering when I call.
I opened my prayer journal on Tuesday night and began writing down my prayer. The truth is, it was kind of hard because I really wasn't sure what all I was feeling. You know when kids make their way to the coke fountains at restaurants and mix in a little bit of each type of drink into their cups? That's exactly what I felt like. A cup full of mixed soda. You take a drink and you really aren't sure what it is because there is no distinct flavor. It's just a drink. That's about as close as you can come to describing the taste. And I just felt. That was the closest I could come to describing my emotions. And so I wrote that. "God, I feel blah." I knew He'd understand what I meant. It's moments like that when I am thankful the Lord knows me better than I know myself. And I just trusted that even though I wasn't really sure what I needed, God would supply.
"I sought the Lord, and he answered me. He delivered my from all my fears." - Psalm 34:4
I woke up early Wednesday morning, and that was the first thing that popped into my head. I sought the Lord, and He delivered me from my fears. I repeated it over and over and over again. I sought the Lord... I sought the Lord and He delivered me from my fears. My fears of the future. My fears of what may or may not come. My fears of the unknown, of the things that are out of my control. My fears of failed plans, of desires that have been unmet. My fears that had grown and grown because I had spent more time seeking out worry than I had spent seeking out the Lord.
And I remembered that God delivers. When we seek Him, He delivers. Because He knows the future, He knows what is to come. He has nothing to fear because He controls it all. And yet I forget. I forget that God is going to work things out and that I'm included in that plan. That He promises to save the righteous. Not just sometimes, all the time. That He doesn't forget about us. He is not only aware of what's going on in our lives, but He knows exactly how to make sense of it all. And I praised the Lord that even though my mind was swimming full of thoughts, He found a way to slip in truth, a promise from His word, that I really needed to hear.
Thank you for delivering. Thank you for being brave when I feel afraid, and thank you for making yourself known when I seek you. Thank you for always taking the time to show me your truth, and thank you for being patient and gracious towards me when I forget. Most of all, thank you for understanding my thoughts, my heart, even when I don't. And thank you for always answering when I call.
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