because you only have to live in shame if you choose to...
There's nothing that'll create a lasting memory in any new relationship better than having an awkward moment. Aaron and I have had our full share of awkward moments. For me, it's usually awkward situations. For Aaron, it's usually saying awkward things. But early on in our relationship, I remember he said, "It's only awkward if you make it awkward." And I think there is some truth to that.
We all have an embarrassing story. I have about a thousand, but I've really tried to limit those over the years. The majority of them took place in my formative years, of course, threating to scar me forever. Like falling down the entire flight of stairs at church one Sunday morning as the little block heel came off of my shoe. Or that time in middle school when I did the Charlie Brown football kick in front of the entire PE class. And then there was that time in junior high when I was prancing myself through the gym in an attempt to look cute and grab some attention and I just so happened to get pegged in the head with a high speed basketball while everyone watched in horror. (Clearly, gyms weren't my thing.) But I look back on these moments and I realize that the only person who remembers them is me. Well, and maybe my mom... and now you know. So a few of us are aware of a fraction of Brittnye's Embarrassing Life Stories. But let's be honest, they're actually funny stories. I can look back on them and laugh. When they happened, I wanted to melt into the floor. But my perspective has changed. I realize that what seemed like a humiliating moment at the time was really just funny. And the only one who has held onto it, the only one who allowed it to bring embarrassment and humiliation, was me. No one else thought a thing about it 10 minutes after it happened. I, however, have hung onto them for years.
I think we do the same thing with shame. We encounter situations in life that are devastating. Humiliating. And we think there is no way to recover from that moment. Everyone must know. Everyone will think about it when they see us. They'll never forget. We'll never forget. And even if they don't know, we think that they can see it on our foreheads. They notice our scarlet letter. And we begin to carry around the unnecessary weight of shame as if there is no way to shake it. As if its simply a part of who we are now. And after a while, we forget what it was like not to have that weight on our shoulders. We forget what it felt like before humiliation and devastation threatened to drag us down and make us feel unworthy, unwanted, broken. Yet one moment, one season, one decision in life doesn't determine who we are nor does it determine the rest of our days. Shame is a temporary feeling in which we don't have to live unless we choose to.
Jesus came to set the captive free. To bring life. He came to break the chains of bondage, bind up the broken, and heal the hurting. He came so that we could have the option of choosing not to live in shame. Because the Lord promised to take those moments, those seasons of humiliation and shame, and work them out for our good when we lay them in His hands. To bring beauty to our ashes. To restore the ruins. Yet we have to be the ones who decide whether or not we're going to live ashamed or unashamed. Are we going to allow the world to tell us to hide, to stay quiet, to bury our heads in shame because it's just too difficult to face? Or, are we going to say, "Look, world! Look, I am broken! I am imperfect. I am flawed and I am a failure. But my God is good. His ways are not my ways. His thoughts are not my thoughts. And because of that, look! Look at what HE has done. Look and what HE is doing. I am not ashamed of the work HE has done in my life because in my weakness, His strength is made perfect!"
You decide. Ashamed. Unashamed. It is your choice.
“Fear not; you will no longer live in shame. Don’t be afraid; there is no more disgrace for you. You will no longer remember the shame of your youth and the sorrows of widowhood. For your Creator will be your husband; the Lord of Heaven’s Armies is his name! He is your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel, the God of all the earth." - Isaiah 54:4-5
We all have an embarrassing story. I have about a thousand, but I've really tried to limit those over the years. The majority of them took place in my formative years, of course, threating to scar me forever. Like falling down the entire flight of stairs at church one Sunday morning as the little block heel came off of my shoe. Or that time in middle school when I did the Charlie Brown football kick in front of the entire PE class. And then there was that time in junior high when I was prancing myself through the gym in an attempt to look cute and grab some attention and I just so happened to get pegged in the head with a high speed basketball while everyone watched in horror. (Clearly, gyms weren't my thing.) But I look back on these moments and I realize that the only person who remembers them is me. Well, and maybe my mom... and now you know. So a few of us are aware of a fraction of Brittnye's Embarrassing Life Stories. But let's be honest, they're actually funny stories. I can look back on them and laugh. When they happened, I wanted to melt into the floor. But my perspective has changed. I realize that what seemed like a humiliating moment at the time was really just funny. And the only one who has held onto it, the only one who allowed it to bring embarrassment and humiliation, was me. No one else thought a thing about it 10 minutes after it happened. I, however, have hung onto them for years.
I think we do the same thing with shame. We encounter situations in life that are devastating. Humiliating. And we think there is no way to recover from that moment. Everyone must know. Everyone will think about it when they see us. They'll never forget. We'll never forget. And even if they don't know, we think that they can see it on our foreheads. They notice our scarlet letter. And we begin to carry around the unnecessary weight of shame as if there is no way to shake it. As if its simply a part of who we are now. And after a while, we forget what it was like not to have that weight on our shoulders. We forget what it felt like before humiliation and devastation threatened to drag us down and make us feel unworthy, unwanted, broken. Yet one moment, one season, one decision in life doesn't determine who we are nor does it determine the rest of our days. Shame is a temporary feeling in which we don't have to live unless we choose to.
Jesus came to set the captive free. To bring life. He came to break the chains of bondage, bind up the broken, and heal the hurting. He came so that we could have the option of choosing not to live in shame. Because the Lord promised to take those moments, those seasons of humiliation and shame, and work them out for our good when we lay them in His hands. To bring beauty to our ashes. To restore the ruins. Yet we have to be the ones who decide whether or not we're going to live ashamed or unashamed. Are we going to allow the world to tell us to hide, to stay quiet, to bury our heads in shame because it's just too difficult to face? Or, are we going to say, "Look, world! Look, I am broken! I am imperfect. I am flawed and I am a failure. But my God is good. His ways are not my ways. His thoughts are not my thoughts. And because of that, look! Look at what HE has done. Look and what HE is doing. I am not ashamed of the work HE has done in my life because in my weakness, His strength is made perfect!"
You decide. Ashamed. Unashamed. It is your choice.
“Fear not; you will no longer live in shame. Don’t be afraid; there is no more disgrace for you. You will no longer remember the shame of your youth and the sorrows of widowhood. For your Creator will be your husband; the Lord of Heaven’s Armies is his name! He is your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel, the God of all the earth." - Isaiah 54:4-5
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