moms and mother-in-laws... because you'll have both...
Registering for baby items has probably been the most stressful thing I've done in quite some time. They don't make it easy on new moms, and so my rule of thumb for all things throughout pregnancy has been simplicity. I have been rotating the same 4 pair of pants for about 4 months now if that tells you how low-key I am trying to make this process. I keep telling myself that if parents were able to survive without the majority of these inventions since the beginning of time, then I should be just fine. Babies need to be loved and nurtured, and my generation is taking parenting to a whole new level. Helicopter parents no longer exist. We have turned ourselves into drone parents, constantly seeing every little thing our child is doing. Can you believe that our parents actually raised us by relying on those walkie-talkie baby monitors? They listened for our cries, and somehow we survived. Anyway, I say all of this to say that I did my best to register for things I felt we might actually need or would be useful for many years. We'll see how well I did when Annabeth shows up. I may be eating my words and buying up all the stuff at Babies R Us that I thought I didn't need. Time will tell.
My mom, mother-in-law, and I carpooled over to the shower on Saturday morning. If you know anything about small town showers, you know they are quite the event for catching up. I always love opportunities to go home and see the people who have prayed me through so many seasons in life. And this time, it was even sweeter than normal because they know. They all know. If there's one thing that all small towns have in common, it's the rapid spreading of word. They have watched my entire life unfold, read in detail about the past 5 years of it, and have rejoiced over what God has done for me. In fact, I constantly have people telling me how much they love Aaron and how glad they are that we found one another. I couldn't agree more. And so it is a joy to celebrate such a sweet occasion with sweet people who are near and dear to my heart.
Anyway, as we were driving over to the shower, I thought about how fortunate I am to have a mom and a mother-in-law who have been so sweet to share in the joy of Annabeth's arrival. The truth is, for as much excitement as a new baby can bring, it can also bring equal amounts of difficulty. And the thing about women is that we tend to get our emotions in all kinds of tangles that can be near impossible to sort out. But girls, can I tell you something that I learned a long time ago? A really tough lesson that I am thankful for today? It starts with you. (And I mean you, no matter which role you fill.)
I know what you're thinking here, and you might think I'm wrong. But hear me out, let me tell you something. One day (if you're not already there), you're going to marry a man and he will have mom. All men have moms. This is a fact. And this mom will become part of your life because she is a part of his. Think about your own mom here for a second. Don't you love her? Don't you want your husband to love her, too? Well, he feels the same way about his mom. And here's the deal, she's been the only consistent woman in his life until now. Until you showed up. She raised him. She knows him. And while you know him as well, it doesn't negate all of the work she's put in for the past 20 or 30 years. In fact, he's probably the way he is because of her. And, you love him, right? So it starts with you. It starts with him. It starts with them. No one is exempt from the process.
When Counselor Mark and I would meet, he would always remind me to never say anything I might want to take back someday. What if we all thought in that context before we spoke? He would remind me that once a word is out, there's no erasing it. I can apologize for it, but it doesn't mean the other person will un-hear it or forget it. In fact, they might keep that word and internalize it for the rest of their days if they so choose. And so I kept that wisdom tucked deep into my heart. I knew that he was right even if my brain told me I should speak what's on my mind. And after having one of the most difficult conversations of my entire life and implementing his advice, I saw that it worked. In fact, it worked so well that I was able to leave without a single regret. And I knew from that moment forward that if I wanted to have successful relationships, it was up to me. I couldn't control what others did, what others said, or how others acted, but I could control me. I could be the "bigger person" if I really had to. But there was a lot I could do before it got to that point, and I learned that it was better to put a good foot forward and build a bridge then send it up in flames with one match.
Annabeth is going to get a lot of great traits from a lot of great people. I think about her DNA, about the grandparents and the great-grandparents who are not only passing along genes, but who are also influencing her life, and I couldn't be more grateful that God has joined our families together. I couldn't ask for a better arrangement, and if I am being honest, I really didn't think these types of family dynamics even existed. But I was wrong. They do. And at the end of the day, if we realize that it's up to us, that we're the responsible party, we're the ones who can make or break it, we learn that by owning our role, choosing to love one another, and remembering that it's not just about us, about our thoughts, about our feelings or desires, Jesus' love shines through and the bigger picture becomes a beautiful one!
"Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves." - Romans 12:10
My mom, mother-in-law, and I carpooled over to the shower on Saturday morning. If you know anything about small town showers, you know they are quite the event for catching up. I always love opportunities to go home and see the people who have prayed me through so many seasons in life. And this time, it was even sweeter than normal because they know. They all know. If there's one thing that all small towns have in common, it's the rapid spreading of word. They have watched my entire life unfold, read in detail about the past 5 years of it, and have rejoiced over what God has done for me. In fact, I constantly have people telling me how much they love Aaron and how glad they are that we found one another. I couldn't agree more. And so it is a joy to celebrate such a sweet occasion with sweet people who are near and dear to my heart.
Anyway, as we were driving over to the shower, I thought about how fortunate I am to have a mom and a mother-in-law who have been so sweet to share in the joy of Annabeth's arrival. The truth is, for as much excitement as a new baby can bring, it can also bring equal amounts of difficulty. And the thing about women is that we tend to get our emotions in all kinds of tangles that can be near impossible to sort out. But girls, can I tell you something that I learned a long time ago? A really tough lesson that I am thankful for today? It starts with you. (And I mean you, no matter which role you fill.)
I know what you're thinking here, and you might think I'm wrong. But hear me out, let me tell you something. One day (if you're not already there), you're going to marry a man and he will have mom. All men have moms. This is a fact. And this mom will become part of your life because she is a part of his. Think about your own mom here for a second. Don't you love her? Don't you want your husband to love her, too? Well, he feels the same way about his mom. And here's the deal, she's been the only consistent woman in his life until now. Until you showed up. She raised him. She knows him. And while you know him as well, it doesn't negate all of the work she's put in for the past 20 or 30 years. In fact, he's probably the way he is because of her. And, you love him, right? So it starts with you. It starts with him. It starts with them. No one is exempt from the process.
When Counselor Mark and I would meet, he would always remind me to never say anything I might want to take back someday. What if we all thought in that context before we spoke? He would remind me that once a word is out, there's no erasing it. I can apologize for it, but it doesn't mean the other person will un-hear it or forget it. In fact, they might keep that word and internalize it for the rest of their days if they so choose. And so I kept that wisdom tucked deep into my heart. I knew that he was right even if my brain told me I should speak what's on my mind. And after having one of the most difficult conversations of my entire life and implementing his advice, I saw that it worked. In fact, it worked so well that I was able to leave without a single regret. And I knew from that moment forward that if I wanted to have successful relationships, it was up to me. I couldn't control what others did, what others said, or how others acted, but I could control me. I could be the "bigger person" if I really had to. But there was a lot I could do before it got to that point, and I learned that it was better to put a good foot forward and build a bridge then send it up in flames with one match.
Annabeth is going to get a lot of great traits from a lot of great people. I think about her DNA, about the grandparents and the great-grandparents who are not only passing along genes, but who are also influencing her life, and I couldn't be more grateful that God has joined our families together. I couldn't ask for a better arrangement, and if I am being honest, I really didn't think these types of family dynamics even existed. But I was wrong. They do. And at the end of the day, if we realize that it's up to us, that we're the responsible party, we're the ones who can make or break it, we learn that by owning our role, choosing to love one another, and remembering that it's not just about us, about our thoughts, about our feelings or desires, Jesus' love shines through and the bigger picture becomes a beautiful one!
"Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves." - Romans 12:10
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