when the results aren't what you expected...
No one likes bad news. It's never welcomed. Never expected.
Friday morning started out well. I liked my outfit, my hair was cooperating, and it was the last day of the work week. My phone rang, and I answered to hear my doctor's voice on the other end.
"I wanted to visit with you about your sonogram results."
My heart skipped a beat. The first sonogram measurements weren't quite up to par, but the technician was so positive about the second ones. She said things like, "Everything looks great! She looks like she's right on track."
I thought that maybe the doctor was just calling to confirm that all was well.
"I'm a little concerned. I don't want you to be worried, okay? I looked over your results and she's measuring small, especially her abdomen. Now, you're a small person, so that's not too surprising. But it makes me think that maybe she's not getting enough nutrients and blood flow. I consulted with a high risk doctor, and I'm going to send you there for an appointment just to have another pair of eyes looking over her."
I hung up the phone and called Aaron. I was so caught off guard that I could hardly remember everything the doctor had told me. I should have written it down. I stepped outside to share the news and I knew that if I let myself get emotional, that would be the end of it. And so I tried very hard to be brave. To be strong. We got through our conversation and he said, "Well, are you okay?" As soon as I said yes my voice cracked. He knew. A few tears escaped my eyes, but I assured him I was fine. Just a little shocked. I hung up the phone and whispered a prayer, and as I did my best to collect my emotions, the Lord said, "Brittnye, remember, I am still knitting her together. She's not done. I'm not finished yet."
I called my mom on the way to lunch to share the report and she said, "Remember what David said in Psalm 139. He said, "My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place." When David wrote those words, it was a mystery as to how a baby was formed. Sometimes I think we see too much and know too much. More than was originally intended. But we'll keep praying for her."
Annabeth, I wrote a few weeks ago about how you are fearfully and wonderfully made. That the world would try to convince you otherwise, but that I wanted you to believe the truth of God's word over the opinions of the world. I saw your sweet face last week, and you look perfect to me. And here we go, weeks before we get to meet you in person, and the world already has an opinion. As your mom, it's easy to be worried. It's easy to be concerned and to want all of the answers. But life doesn't work that way. Sometimes, things are completely out of our control and the only thing we can do is trust God. That's it. We have to leave it all in His hands and believe His promises.
I've spent much of my life worrying. I've worried about things that never came to fruition. I've worried about things that actually happened. And do you know what? Worrying never changed anything and it never fixed anything. Rather, it stole my joy and increased my doubt, and I'm so thankful that God has taught me that lesson. Otherwise, I may very well be a basket case right now.
But you've got time, and God is knitting. In the seclusion, in the secret, He is working on you. He sees you. Every little movement, every little kick. He is completely aware of you. And He loves you. He cares about you. You are precious to Him, and you are created in His image. And not only are you loved my God, but you are dearly loved by so many people who are generously offering up prayers on your behalf. Great people that will be so excited to meet you, and they are praying that you grow strong and healthy. I know that you will.
This is the beauty of trusting Jesus, Annabeth. He hears our prayers, He has the answers, and He meets us in our time of need. He comforts our heart when the world offers fear. He gives us peace when we're plagued with worry. He calms our hearts when anxiety threatens. And He speaks to us the very things we need to hear right when we need them.
"From the ends of the earth, I cry to you for help when my heart is overwhelmed. Lead me to the towering rock of safety, for you are my safe refuge..." - Psalm 61:2-3
Friday morning started out well. I liked my outfit, my hair was cooperating, and it was the last day of the work week. My phone rang, and I answered to hear my doctor's voice on the other end.
"I wanted to visit with you about your sonogram results."
My heart skipped a beat. The first sonogram measurements weren't quite up to par, but the technician was so positive about the second ones. She said things like, "Everything looks great! She looks like she's right on track."
I thought that maybe the doctor was just calling to confirm that all was well.
"I'm a little concerned. I don't want you to be worried, okay? I looked over your results and she's measuring small, especially her abdomen. Now, you're a small person, so that's not too surprising. But it makes me think that maybe she's not getting enough nutrients and blood flow. I consulted with a high risk doctor, and I'm going to send you there for an appointment just to have another pair of eyes looking over her."
I hung up the phone and called Aaron. I was so caught off guard that I could hardly remember everything the doctor had told me. I should have written it down. I stepped outside to share the news and I knew that if I let myself get emotional, that would be the end of it. And so I tried very hard to be brave. To be strong. We got through our conversation and he said, "Well, are you okay?" As soon as I said yes my voice cracked. He knew. A few tears escaped my eyes, but I assured him I was fine. Just a little shocked. I hung up the phone and whispered a prayer, and as I did my best to collect my emotions, the Lord said, "Brittnye, remember, I am still knitting her together. She's not done. I'm not finished yet."
I called my mom on the way to lunch to share the report and she said, "Remember what David said in Psalm 139. He said, "My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place." When David wrote those words, it was a mystery as to how a baby was formed. Sometimes I think we see too much and know too much. More than was originally intended. But we'll keep praying for her."
Annabeth, I wrote a few weeks ago about how you are fearfully and wonderfully made. That the world would try to convince you otherwise, but that I wanted you to believe the truth of God's word over the opinions of the world. I saw your sweet face last week, and you look perfect to me. And here we go, weeks before we get to meet you in person, and the world already has an opinion. As your mom, it's easy to be worried. It's easy to be concerned and to want all of the answers. But life doesn't work that way. Sometimes, things are completely out of our control and the only thing we can do is trust God. That's it. We have to leave it all in His hands and believe His promises.
I've spent much of my life worrying. I've worried about things that never came to fruition. I've worried about things that actually happened. And do you know what? Worrying never changed anything and it never fixed anything. Rather, it stole my joy and increased my doubt, and I'm so thankful that God has taught me that lesson. Otherwise, I may very well be a basket case right now.
But you've got time, and God is knitting. In the seclusion, in the secret, He is working on you. He sees you. Every little movement, every little kick. He is completely aware of you. And He loves you. He cares about you. You are precious to Him, and you are created in His image. And not only are you loved my God, but you are dearly loved by so many people who are generously offering up prayers on your behalf. Great people that will be so excited to meet you, and they are praying that you grow strong and healthy. I know that you will.
This is the beauty of trusting Jesus, Annabeth. He hears our prayers, He has the answers, and He meets us in our time of need. He comforts our heart when the world offers fear. He gives us peace when we're plagued with worry. He calms our hearts when anxiety threatens. And He speaks to us the very things we need to hear right when we need them.
"From the ends of the earth, I cry to you for help when my heart is overwhelmed. Lead me to the towering rock of safety, for you are my safe refuge..." - Psalm 61:2-3
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