Reason #768

It has been a long Monday for the Davis family. My daily routine got throw off, and because I am such a creature of habit, it wrecked havoc on my day. Poor Scout had to go to the groomer's, which has recently turned into an unpleasant experience for her, and this always wears her out. I think we're all in for a good night's rest tonight.

If I'm being honest, which I try to always be, I don't feel like blogging tonight. I feel like closing my eyes and hibernating until morning. I don't want to use the little bit of brain power I have left, and I don't want to fight sleep any longer. And so it's nights like to night that commitment kicks in.

I remember the night I got to idea to start blogging. It was random, and it came to me out of the blue. Well, I say that. I don't think the thought just popped in to my head by chance. I really believe it was a divine idea, you know. One of those things that God lays on your heart to do that you would have never imagined yourself. You don't have to do it. It's one of those options that either way you chose, life will turn out alright. I don't think God would have viewed me as being disobedient had I chosen to never start writing out my thoughts and feelings, but I do know that I would have missed out on a lot of big blessings had I opted out. And so, even though I struggle through some nights, and even though I often wonder why the Lord laid this on my heart, I know for sure that there's blessing in obedience and that God honors commitment.

Things are always new and exciting up front. Relationships, moving, new pets, new jobs, any new venture is thrilling at the start. Each experience is an adventure that brings a rush of emotions that keep your head in the clouds. But time quickly sets in. Life becomes routine, monotonous, and repetitive. The new experiences are now the norm, and the norm gets tedious. You've lost a few stars in your eyes because you've had your struggles, your rough patches, and a handful of hard days. And you begin to wonder where it all goes from here, what's your purpose in it all.

And so I'll tell you that I've struggled with this. Because for a hundred and some odd days, my fingers were on fire. I couldn't wait to sit down every day and pour out my heart through the keyboard. Why, you ask? Because it was my therapy. My heart was broken, my heart was healing, my heart was overwhelmed at what God was doing and so I had to get it out in some form. The good, the bad, the ugly, all printed on the screen so that I could think through it all. Life was an incredible adventure as I was walking down new road after new road. No scenery was familiar, all of it unchartered territory. And so I had a lot to say and I just trusted that God would use it somehow, someway.

But hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of days later, I've thought to myself, "Lord, what is the purpose in this? Does it really even matter?" And God has yet to reveal that full answer to me. Maybe I'll know in 232 days. Maybe I won't. Maybe I won't know for hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of days later. Or maybe never. Maybe the purpose is not for me to know.

Well, I just choose to believe that God had a purpose when He laid it on my heart. I choose to believe that He laid it on my heart the exact day He did on purpose, not a day sooner and not a day later. And so on days like today, days where I am just tired and don't have much to say, days where I struggle forming a thought or getting my words out, days that are routine and boring and same-ole-same-ole, I choose to believe that they, too, have purpose. That every single day God is using for a greater purpose. After all, I can't imagine God would lay something on our hearts and then do nothing with it. He put it there for a reason, and I know that regardless of whether or not it matters to anyone else, it matters to Him, and that's what counts the most.

#768 - Because He uses every single day for something greater, even the not so great days.

"My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." - Isaiah 55:8-9

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