because it's okay to be single, and it's okay to wait to get married...

It seems like all the good ones are gone, doesn’t it? I remember feeling the exact same way. I thought I was past my prime and that my chances were slim to none. I couldn’t find a good guy, of course I wasn’t trying super hard to look for one, either. But I would rack my brain thinking of any single male I knew and I couldn’t think of one that made me feel encouraged for the future. I knew some good guys, don’t get me wrong. I knew some cute guys, too. I knew some guys that were pretty successful, and I knew a few who were charming. But I didn’t know many that were godly. In fact, the ones who seemed to possess all of the traits I was hoping for were married, so that wasn’t going to work. I found that I could easily fit most of the guys I knew into a few categories, but fitting them into all was near impossible. I began to feel discouraged as I truly believed the guy I hoped to marry didn’t actually exist. That maybe I was praying for something I'd never get.

 

The problem wasn’t that he didn’t exist, the problem was that I simply wasn’t willing to wait for him. I had this perfect plan mapped out in my mind that the man I would marry would be one I met in college. That’s just how people do things around here. You meet someone in college and you marry then when you graduate. My parents met that way, heck most people I knew met that way, and so it only seemed natural that I’d fall into the same line. I’d go to college, my options would open up, I’d meet this dear man who would whisk me off my feet, and I’d be happily married for the rest of my life. Unfortunately, I didn’t consult the Lord on my timeline as much as I simply made him aware of it, and if I had only been brave enough to listen, I would have realized that God was asking me not to do things the way everyone else had, but to do them the way he desired me to.

 

And so at 24 years old, I felt like that was it. I had my shot, and it blew up in my face. I was single and less desirable than before, I believed. Plus, I was out of college, out of the "dating pool," so there was no foreseeable way, in my opinion, that the Lord could ever bring some incredible man into my life. I was reading of this God who was parting seas, healing lepers, raising people from the dead, and giving sight to the blind, yet meeting my heart’s desire for a godly husband seemed to be too far out of reach, too much to ask. It would truly be a miracle if this man existed and an even bigger miracle if I could win his heart. So I kept thinking to myself, “All the good ones are gone,” as if the Lord only created a select few and would withhold one from me.

 

Here’s what I want to say, and I want to say it loud and clear. It’s okay if you don’t get married in your early 20’s. It’s okay if you don’t get married in your mid to late 20’s. It’s okay if you’re single for a while. In fact, it is okay to wait for as long as God asks you to before you get married. There’s nothing wrong with you for waiting on God to bring you the right person. Don’t bother yourself with what others are doing, concern yourself with the plan God has for you. Because you’re never too old to fall in love and commit your life to someone, and you’ll never regret waiting to do so. When I met Aaron and I saw his true character, I could have cared the less about all that I had been through up until that point. It didn’t matter so much anymore, and if I had to rewind and do it again, I would. Not because it was fun or easy but because it was the path that led me to Aaron. There is no doubt in my heart God designed Aaron for me, but there was more than one way I was going to get to him. I may have chosen the long way or the hard way, but God, in all of his graciousness, got me there and that’s all that matters in the end.

 

They exist. That man that your heart desires, he exists. Don’t stop praying for him, and don’t stop waiting on him. You are going to meet him, sweet one, I promise you will. I don’t know when, and I don’t know how, but God will work out the details in His time. If he could do it for me, in spite of my circumstances, he can do it for you, too. God will honor your faithfulness and he will withhold no good thing from you. He loves you and he wants you to be loved. He treasures you and he wants you to be treasured. If your earthly father wants you to find a man of integrity who will care for you, honor you, and be faithful to you, how much more does your Heavenly Father want that for you? But you may have to wait on him. You may have to be patient. You may have to attend more weddings without a plus one than you’d like, spend more Valentine’s Days alone that you’d prefer, and watch other people get the very thing you want, but don’t give up. Don’t give in. Don’t sell yourself short, and don’t settle for the sake of time. Because when he arrives, when he finally shows up and is yours forever, your heart will be glad. You’ll look back and you’ll say, “Thank you Jesus for those rough days, for not giving me what I wanted, because you not only taught me more about your love and faithfulness, but you protected my heart so that I could in turn give it to him, to the right one.”

 

He exists, and remember, he’s waiting for you, too. Praying for you. Looking forward to you. Keep on trusting, it will happen.  And until then, thank the Lord that he is working on it. Thank the Lord that he is a God of miracles who cares for his children. Waiting is not always easy, in fact, it’s usually not, but I promise you that it is worth it!

 

"I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit."  - Romans 15:13