forgiveness...even when you don't feel like offering it...

Seven times seventy times. Four hundred and ninety times. Jesus wasn’t kidding when he called us to be a people of forgiveness. A people who extend grace even when the flesh may not think it’s required. A people who let things go rather than holding on to them. A people who easily forget, and remember, things, which is probably why he called us to a lifestyle of forgiveness. It’s never a one time event.

 

I counted myself a pretty forgiving person. Of course, it’s easy when the wounds are little scrapes and not deep cuts.  When the offense seems small, and when it really didn’t do much damage, it’s not that hard to extend the olive branch. But sometimes forgiveness doesn’t come as easily as we feel it should. Sometimes the pain subsides but then returns at a later date. And sometimes, most of the time, we find that forgiveness must be offered despite the apology we feel is deserved.

 

“Forgive and you will be forgiven.” (Luke 6:37)

 

We know we’re supposed to do it. We know that because we’re recipients of forgiveness we must also be givers of forgiveness. But I think the misunderstanding comes from the fact simply because we forgive someone doesn’t mean the hurt is gone. Just because we forgive someone doesn’t mean that the memory no longer exists. Forgiveness is an act that would be much easier if we truly had the ability to forgive and forget.

 

But forgiveness can be given without question. No one has to ask for forgiveness in order to receive it. Jesus never said, “When they come to you, apologize, and make it right in your eyes, then you can forgive them.” No, he said, “When you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in Heaven will forgive your sins, too.” (Mark 11:25) No exceptions. Forgive anyone you’re holding a grudge against. Forgive anyone who has yet to ask you for it. Forgive anyone regardless of what they did to you or how mad you are at them. Forgive, first. Even if you don’t tell them, you can forgive them. Even if they keep doing it, you keep forgiving them. Seven times seventy times. Because even if it was a one time event, the likelihood of your memory recalling the event is high, and so you have to forgive. Every time it comes up, every time you see them, every time you are reminded of them, you forgive because Jesus calls you to. You forgive because not only have you been forgiven, but because you, too, need forgiveness. Forgiveness you may not even know of. And when we do the things God calls us to do, we honor him and reflect him to an unforgiving world that so desperately needs to see him.

 

They say forgiveness sets you free. Free from the memory, not necessarily. But free from the bitterness, the anger, and the additional hurt that would come otherwise. It may take some time. It may require much of your effort. It may mean many trips to the foot of the cross before you begin to notice a difference in your heart. But you have the ability to forgive because you have been forgiven. The ability to offer grace because you have received it. And even if it means each day you must forgive, then go ahead and forgive.

 

 

“… and forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us…” – Matthew 6:12