God hates divorce, not the divorced... he hates sin, not the sinner...
I hate the feeling of being disliked. I suffer from the desire to be a people pleaser, so it pains me to know that someone might not like me. It especially bothers me when it seems like there's no good reason for it, when it's something out of my control. And so sometimes we can fall victim into thinking that God may dislike us because of certain things we've done, but that couldn't be farther from the truth.
"For I hate divorce," says the Lord, the God of Israel. (Malachi 2:16) I knew what God's word said about it. I knew how God felt about it. I knew it was wrong. But I couldn't do anything about it. I couldn't change it. No matter what I tried, and believe me, I tried everything a person possibly could, it didn't matter. I was going through a divorce. And although I knew the Lord loved me, and although I knew He was aware of my circumstances, completely up to date on every detail before it happened, part of me still felt that surely he was going to be disappointed in me. After all, hate is a strong word. A word that carries a lot of weight, as does every wrong that comes from his mouth. And if God hated divorce, and I was divorced, did God hate me?
I read every possible thing I could read about divorce. I searched the scriptures for some sort of comfort. I needed relief, and I needed an answer. For the first time in my life, I found myself in this odd place of trying to figure out how God felt about me. Up until that point, I never questioned it. But now, I was clearly involved in something that wasn't ordained or encouraged by the Lord, and I didn't want that to be who I was. No matter how much I wished otherwise, it was going to be a permanent part of my story. I didn't want that to define me, and I certainly didn't want that horrific label following me around for the rest of my life. I wanted to be pleasing to the Lord, and I wondered if there was any possible way to do that with a tarnished record.
God hates divorce, not the divorced. One is an action, another is a person. Jesus met the woman at the well, the one who had been married 5 times, and he called her out on it. Not in a judgmental, hateful way, but he wanted her to know that he saw her. He was aware of the path she had been on. I don't know why she had been married 5 times. I don't know if she had been the one leaving or the one to be left. Maybe she grew up with zero self confidence, and so she let men define her worth. Maybe she witnessed an unhealthy, unstable marriage between her own parents and she thought that was just how it worked. Maybe she was insecure and afraid and rather than leaning on the Lord to provide for her and meet her needs, she ran from man to man. I don't know why she was where she was, but Jesus met her there, right where she was, at the well. He showed her love, he offered her life, and he showed her that there was another way.
Then there was the other woman, the one caught in adultery, about to be stoned. Never mind that the man who was as guilty as she was never appeared to stand up for her. No, it was just her, by herself, and everyone knew her sin, Jesus included. They showed up, rocks in hand, ready to kill her. Ready to see justice served. Yet Jesus met her where she was. At the end of their insults, their accusations, Jesus stood by her side. I don't know why she was there. No one really did. But Jesus called them out, reminding them that they, too, were all guilty of sin, and he saved her life. He didn't condone her behavior, and he didn't endorse it. He didn't make excuses for her or try to find an exception. He simply reminded her that there was another way as he said, "Go and sin no more." (John 8:11)
Jesus doesn't hate people, Jesus hates sin. He hates what sin does to our lives. He hates the way it fills us with shame and regret. He hates the damage it causes, the havoc it wrecks. He hates sin because it does nothing good for us. It drives a wedge between us, it causes strife. It hurts us, it misleads us, it inflicts pain on those around us, and it traps us. And because of the hold sin had on us, Jesus died for us. He died so that we didn't have to fall victim to sin. He died so that we could be free from sin. He died so that sin would have no hold on our lives. And He died so that we could choose another way, His way.
Jim Denison said it best when he said, "Jesus connected with the culture, but he did not endorse what the Bible refuses." That's his desire, to connect with His people. To draw them out of a life of sin and draw them to himself. To a life that reflects him. A life of obedience and commitment. Jesus doesn't hate you, dear one. Don't believe that for a moment. You're not too far gone to be saved, and you're not too far gone to be used. No, he has a plan for you. A plan far greater than you could imagine on your own. He will meet you where you are, not so that you can stay there but so that you can follow him. He will show you another way. A better way. A life-changing, God-honoring, fulfilling way. You have an option. Choose his way.
"And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love." - Romans 8:38
"For I hate divorce," says the Lord, the God of Israel. (Malachi 2:16) I knew what God's word said about it. I knew how God felt about it. I knew it was wrong. But I couldn't do anything about it. I couldn't change it. No matter what I tried, and believe me, I tried everything a person possibly could, it didn't matter. I was going through a divorce. And although I knew the Lord loved me, and although I knew He was aware of my circumstances, completely up to date on every detail before it happened, part of me still felt that surely he was going to be disappointed in me. After all, hate is a strong word. A word that carries a lot of weight, as does every wrong that comes from his mouth. And if God hated divorce, and I was divorced, did God hate me?
I read every possible thing I could read about divorce. I searched the scriptures for some sort of comfort. I needed relief, and I needed an answer. For the first time in my life, I found myself in this odd place of trying to figure out how God felt about me. Up until that point, I never questioned it. But now, I was clearly involved in something that wasn't ordained or encouraged by the Lord, and I didn't want that to be who I was. No matter how much I wished otherwise, it was going to be a permanent part of my story. I didn't want that to define me, and I certainly didn't want that horrific label following me around for the rest of my life. I wanted to be pleasing to the Lord, and I wondered if there was any possible way to do that with a tarnished record.
God hates divorce, not the divorced. One is an action, another is a person. Jesus met the woman at the well, the one who had been married 5 times, and he called her out on it. Not in a judgmental, hateful way, but he wanted her to know that he saw her. He was aware of the path she had been on. I don't know why she had been married 5 times. I don't know if she had been the one leaving or the one to be left. Maybe she grew up with zero self confidence, and so she let men define her worth. Maybe she witnessed an unhealthy, unstable marriage between her own parents and she thought that was just how it worked. Maybe she was insecure and afraid and rather than leaning on the Lord to provide for her and meet her needs, she ran from man to man. I don't know why she was where she was, but Jesus met her there, right where she was, at the well. He showed her love, he offered her life, and he showed her that there was another way.
Then there was the other woman, the one caught in adultery, about to be stoned. Never mind that the man who was as guilty as she was never appeared to stand up for her. No, it was just her, by herself, and everyone knew her sin, Jesus included. They showed up, rocks in hand, ready to kill her. Ready to see justice served. Yet Jesus met her where she was. At the end of their insults, their accusations, Jesus stood by her side. I don't know why she was there. No one really did. But Jesus called them out, reminding them that they, too, were all guilty of sin, and he saved her life. He didn't condone her behavior, and he didn't endorse it. He didn't make excuses for her or try to find an exception. He simply reminded her that there was another way as he said, "Go and sin no more." (John 8:11)
Jesus doesn't hate people, Jesus hates sin. He hates what sin does to our lives. He hates the way it fills us with shame and regret. He hates the damage it causes, the havoc it wrecks. He hates sin because it does nothing good for us. It drives a wedge between us, it causes strife. It hurts us, it misleads us, it inflicts pain on those around us, and it traps us. And because of the hold sin had on us, Jesus died for us. He died so that we didn't have to fall victim to sin. He died so that we could be free from sin. He died so that sin would have no hold on our lives. And He died so that we could choose another way, His way.
Jim Denison said it best when he said, "Jesus connected with the culture, but he did not endorse what the Bible refuses." That's his desire, to connect with His people. To draw them out of a life of sin and draw them to himself. To a life that reflects him. A life of obedience and commitment. Jesus doesn't hate you, dear one. Don't believe that for a moment. You're not too far gone to be saved, and you're not too far gone to be used. No, he has a plan for you. A plan far greater than you could imagine on your own. He will meet you where you are, not so that you can stay there but so that you can follow him. He will show you another way. A better way. A life-changing, God-honoring, fulfilling way. You have an option. Choose his way.
"And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love." - Romans 8:38
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