Dear Future Husbands... this one is for you...

Aaron and I met with a young man this afternoon for lunch. He wanted some relationship advice. He was thinking of pursuing a girl, but he wanted to make sure he went about it correctly. Of course, I knew if he was putting this much thought and intention into the idea of pursuing her, he was going to be just fine. But I certainly appreciated it because as he spoke, I could tell that he was thinking about more than just dating her. He was thinking about marriage. He was thinking of how he could go about this in an honorable way so that there were no regrets in the end regardless of how it turned out. And I thought about future husbands, about all the pressures that rest on their shoulders, and so I wanted to write about them tonight.

 

Now, clearly I’m not a husband. I don’t speak from experience. I am, however, married to the best husband there ever is and ever could be, and so I’ve learned a lot from him. Of course, my dad set a great example of a husband for me to watch as I grew up, but there’s a difference between watching someone be a good husband and actually being a good husband. So, to all of you future husbands out there, this is for you.

 

Your future wife has been thinking about you for a long time. Trust me, she has thought about you since she was probably a child. In fact, the first time she ever went to a wedding, she started thinking about her own. And she may not tell you this, but she’s got it already planned out in her head. She knows the colors, the songs, and the decorations she wants to have. The only piece of the puzzle that’s missing is you.

 

She’s going to meet you one of these days. I don’t know how or when, but it’ll happen. You may know it right away, or it may take you both some time to figure it out. But it won’t be long into dating you that she’ll being thinking about how your last name sounds next to her first name. She’ll secretly start a Pinterest wedding board, if she doesn’t already have one tucked away, and she’ll start thinking about rings. She’ll walk by jewelry stores and look in the windows, and every time she hears someone talk about proposals or marriage, she’ll find herself quickly drawn into the conversation. Because the Lord gave her a tender heart. A vulnerable heart. A heart that longs to be loved for, cared for, and cherished. And the thing is, she’s trusting that you’ll be the one to do that. She’s fully believing that you’re going to be the one to protect her, to accept her, to stand up for her, and to provide for her. And sure, she’s going to hope you have a romantic streak running through your blood, but more than that she’ll hope that you treat her with respect and dignity. She’s going to want you to encourage her and build her up. She wants to be pleasing to you. And maybe you know this, and maybe you don’t, but you’ve got a big weight to stand up under, future husband, and it’s one you shouldn’t take lightly.

 

So do her a favor. Begin thinking about her. Begin considering her. You probably don’t even know her right now, but one day you’re going to love her so much that you’ll lay down your life for her. Don’t you think that is someone worth preparing for? And wait for her. Don’t just wait for her with your time, wait for her with your body, with your heart, and with your intentions. Think about her when you make choices. Think about the heart and the responsibility you’ll be entrusted with when you enter into a relationship. After all, you may very well be dating someone else’s future wife, and some other guy may be dating yours. And as you wait, as you work your way towards one another, dig your roots deep into the Lord. Become the man he has called you to be so that you can be the husband he is desiring you to be. Let him prepare you and mold you for the role he will one day give you. And remember that she’s waiting on you, too. She’s waiting on you to take the lead and initiate, waiting on you to set the example, waiting on you to love her as Christ loved the church. And if you’ll do that, if you’ll really trust the Lord and walk in integrity and faithfulness, you’ll come to find that everything else will work itself out. Don’t settle. Don’t give in. She will be worth every bit of the wait, and you’ll be glad you thought to prepare yourself for her.

 

"The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord." - Proverbs 18:22