When you get married you get a husband... you also get a mother-in-law...
When you get married, you get a husband. You also get a mother-in-law. Another mother, who while she didn't raise you, will be very invested in your life. Another woman who is, and already has, made a significant difference in your future. In fact, she's probably even been praying and thinking about you, and if you're wise, you'll do the same for her. After all, she's the one who birthed and molded your husband into the man he is today. She certainly had a big role to complete before yours ever began.
Girls and their moms can have quite the bond. I realize this isn't the case for everyone, but most of my girlfriends consider their mom to be their best friend. I most definitely fall into that category. She's my #1 gal pal, and she has always been. Luckily, for me, I didn't have to share my mom with a sister. I just have a brother, and he wasn't all that concerned about hanging out with her one on one. So, I got her all to myself. We have a history that is chalked full of sweet memories and good times. And even though my mom and I were the dearest of friends from the start, I knew my brother held a really special place in her heart. He was messy and loud and never picked up his stuff, and although my strict ways and OCD tendencies had a hard time accepting these things, my mom found a way to. She had a super soft spot in her heart for my brother, and I remember how hard it was for her to watch him get married. Not because she wasn't happy for him, and not because we weren't grateful for his new bride. Looking back on it now, and having a husband of my own, I get it. For 18+ years she had been his go-to-girl for everything, the one who was always there to help him out, support him, and be his place of acceptance and refuge. She had been the one to find solutions for his problems and come up with a fix for anything he needed. She was the one he depended on. He had always needed her. Now, she was handing it all over to another woman who would pick up the torch and take over where she no longer could. I imagine it had to be a bittersweet feeling, but she cut those apron strings on November 15, 2008, and everyone survived.
In his article titled "The Hand The Rules the World," Jim Denison said "Mothers have the single greatest influence on their children's eternal souls." I would dare say mothers have the single greatest influence on their child's life forever. Most of us have been, and continue to be, greatly impacted by our mothers. For 9 months, our lives literally depended on them. A mother's love is fierce, and they're the ones who invest great amounts of time and energy into shaping and forming their children into the people they will become. I knew this little factoid well. I knew that moving out of the house was no barrier to a mother's influence. All mothers have a way with their children, but I saw that mothers have a way with their sons. And so my greatest fear of getting married was the thought of my future in-laws. Two become one, rightly so, but that doesn't mean their families aren't also included in that mix. Two become one, with 2 sets of parents and many extra players, and I didn't know if I would be able to find in-laws I'd be willing to marry.
Well, if you've read my blogs, you know full well that I hit the in-law jackpot. But don't think for a minute that I didn't do some serious praying about it before I ever met them. My mother-in-law is a dream. I seriously could not ask for better woman to have raised my husband, and I just praise the good Lord that he heard my prayers. But he wasn't just listening to me, he was listening to her, too. Mothers know what their babies need, and she was praying specific prayers for her son. She knew that one day she'd be passing the torch, the years of her hard work, on to a another woman. Moms have big shoes to fill, and it's not always an easy fill for a new wife. But every mother is faced with the choice to let her child fly or clip his wings, and it takes a strong mom to let them fly.
So thank you, sweet Karen, for letting him fly. Thank you for knowing when to hold tight and when to let go. Thank you for raising a man of integrity and great character. Thank you for instilling in him a hard work ethic. For teaching him how to treat and respect women. For loving on him, supporting him, and being his refuge before I was there. Thank you for not only raising him in a home that is sold out to Jesus, but for showing him what an authentic relationship with Christ looks like. Thank you for the small things, which really aren't small at all, like feeding him, teaching him how to walk and talk, kissing his boo-boos, and disciplining him so that he'd know right from wrong. Thank you for teaching him that the good things in life are worth working for, and thank you for letting him learn some lessons the hard way. Thank you for never enabling your son or making him feel entitled. You showed him that hard work a discipline are the keys to success and that excuses are not allowed. He has a servant's heart, just like you. A good head on his shoulders, thanks to you. He has a sweet disposition, a gentle spirit, and a contagious personality all because of you. Because of the mother you've been to him. Because of the faithful servant you've been to Christ.
And thank you, for loving me. Thank you for praying for me. Thank you for never judging me or holding me to a standard that I may very well never meet. Thank you for always wrapping me up in a big hug when you see me and for telling me you love me every time we talk. Thank you for letting me be me, for letting me love and care for Aaron in the way God has designed me. For never telling me what I should do or how I should do it, rather for letting us figure it out as we go. And most of all, thank you for being for me. For supporting me. For never making me feel inadequate, inferior, or replaceable. You are a gem of a woman, a mother, and a mother-in-law. Thank you for raising an incredible man for me. He is a visible product of your hard work and labor of love, and you did a wonderful job. Thank you for being the mom Aaron needed you to be. The perfect mom to prepare to perfect husband for me.
"She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed..." - Proverbs 31:25-28
Girls and their moms can have quite the bond. I realize this isn't the case for everyone, but most of my girlfriends consider their mom to be their best friend. I most definitely fall into that category. She's my #1 gal pal, and she has always been. Luckily, for me, I didn't have to share my mom with a sister. I just have a brother, and he wasn't all that concerned about hanging out with her one on one. So, I got her all to myself. We have a history that is chalked full of sweet memories and good times. And even though my mom and I were the dearest of friends from the start, I knew my brother held a really special place in her heart. He was messy and loud and never picked up his stuff, and although my strict ways and OCD tendencies had a hard time accepting these things, my mom found a way to. She had a super soft spot in her heart for my brother, and I remember how hard it was for her to watch him get married. Not because she wasn't happy for him, and not because we weren't grateful for his new bride. Looking back on it now, and having a husband of my own, I get it. For 18+ years she had been his go-to-girl for everything, the one who was always there to help him out, support him, and be his place of acceptance and refuge. She had been the one to find solutions for his problems and come up with a fix for anything he needed. She was the one he depended on. He had always needed her. Now, she was handing it all over to another woman who would pick up the torch and take over where she no longer could. I imagine it had to be a bittersweet feeling, but she cut those apron strings on November 15, 2008, and everyone survived.
In his article titled "The Hand The Rules the World," Jim Denison said "Mothers have the single greatest influence on their children's eternal souls." I would dare say mothers have the single greatest influence on their child's life forever. Most of us have been, and continue to be, greatly impacted by our mothers. For 9 months, our lives literally depended on them. A mother's love is fierce, and they're the ones who invest great amounts of time and energy into shaping and forming their children into the people they will become. I knew this little factoid well. I knew that moving out of the house was no barrier to a mother's influence. All mothers have a way with their children, but I saw that mothers have a way with their sons. And so my greatest fear of getting married was the thought of my future in-laws. Two become one, rightly so, but that doesn't mean their families aren't also included in that mix. Two become one, with 2 sets of parents and many extra players, and I didn't know if I would be able to find in-laws I'd be willing to marry.
Well, if you've read my blogs, you know full well that I hit the in-law jackpot. But don't think for a minute that I didn't do some serious praying about it before I ever met them. My mother-in-law is a dream. I seriously could not ask for better woman to have raised my husband, and I just praise the good Lord that he heard my prayers. But he wasn't just listening to me, he was listening to her, too. Mothers know what their babies need, and she was praying specific prayers for her son. She knew that one day she'd be passing the torch, the years of her hard work, on to a another woman. Moms have big shoes to fill, and it's not always an easy fill for a new wife. But every mother is faced with the choice to let her child fly or clip his wings, and it takes a strong mom to let them fly.
So thank you, sweet Karen, for letting him fly. Thank you for knowing when to hold tight and when to let go. Thank you for raising a man of integrity and great character. Thank you for instilling in him a hard work ethic. For teaching him how to treat and respect women. For loving on him, supporting him, and being his refuge before I was there. Thank you for not only raising him in a home that is sold out to Jesus, but for showing him what an authentic relationship with Christ looks like. Thank you for the small things, which really aren't small at all, like feeding him, teaching him how to walk and talk, kissing his boo-boos, and disciplining him so that he'd know right from wrong. Thank you for teaching him that the good things in life are worth working for, and thank you for letting him learn some lessons the hard way. Thank you for never enabling your son or making him feel entitled. You showed him that hard work a discipline are the keys to success and that excuses are not allowed. He has a servant's heart, just like you. A good head on his shoulders, thanks to you. He has a sweet disposition, a gentle spirit, and a contagious personality all because of you. Because of the mother you've been to him. Because of the faithful servant you've been to Christ.
And thank you, for loving me. Thank you for praying for me. Thank you for never judging me or holding me to a standard that I may very well never meet. Thank you for always wrapping me up in a big hug when you see me and for telling me you love me every time we talk. Thank you for letting me be me, for letting me love and care for Aaron in the way God has designed me. For never telling me what I should do or how I should do it, rather for letting us figure it out as we go. And most of all, thank you for being for me. For supporting me. For never making me feel inadequate, inferior, or replaceable. You are a gem of a woman, a mother, and a mother-in-law. Thank you for raising an incredible man for me. He is a visible product of your hard work and labor of love, and you did a wonderful job. Thank you for being the mom Aaron needed you to be. The perfect mom to prepare to perfect husband for me.
"She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed..." - Proverbs 31:25-28
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