gross confession...
"I have a gross confession to make." Aaron slowly looked up from his computer unsure if he really wanted to hear what I had to say. We've been married almost 5 years now, and there's nothing to hide. We've both heard, seen, and witnessed some pretty disgusting things between the two of us that we'd never dare tell another soul. Truth be told, that is the beauty of marriage. That even in all of your gross-ness, you've got someone who still loves and accepts you. "I think the last time I washed my hair was Saturday night." It was now Thursday night. He chuckled, probably relieved that it wasn't as gross as he was expecting, and said, "Well, I guess it's a good thing you wore a hat both yesterday and today."
I remember the day I met Aaron as if it was last week. I scoured my closet trying to pick out an outfit that looked nice and classy but not like I had been trying too hard, either. I wanted to make a good first impression, and I guess it worked. Not that he gave me any inclination then, but he later admitted that I had made a good choice. I'll never forget the look on his face when he saw me for the first time on our wedding day. I had spent months preparing myself. I had a nice, subtle tan, a lovely dress, and had literally spent half a day getting my hair and make up done by professionals. I felt amazing! I looked the very best version of myself, physically. The next morning, I was back to looking like me. And of all the opportunities Aaron had to take a picture of his new bride, he chose to snap a candid photo of me sleeping, mouth hanging wide open, on the airplane to Cancun. Now, tell me love isn't blind. Or, in our case, has a strange sense of humor.
Annabeth came along and my days of spending a good 30-45 minutes on my appearance were cut down significantly. On my good days, I spend maybe 20 minutes. Most days, it's more like five. Not that I don't care, but I have more things to care about. Like sleep. On top of that, it's extremely hard to draw on eyeliner or dry your hair when a tiny person is using you for a jungle gym. And so I've learned how to quickly look acceptable, not exceptional. Some days acceptable means I've brushed my teeth and have showered. And while that may not cut it in the world of beauty bloggers and airbrushed magazines, here's what I am learning. My appearance does not make me a better wife, mother, friend, or disciple of Christ... and it never will.
The danger of social media, or any media for that matter, is that the images we see are not what we think. We look at women with thigh gaps and tiny waists and we immediately beat ourselves up for eating that lone fudgesicle we discovered in the bottom of the freezer during naptime. We see sunkissed skin and bouncy bust lines that knock what little self-esteem we had right back down to the ground. We view images of beautiful homes, free of clutter, sticky floors, and full of spotless white furniture and feel inadequate as we clean the hundredth spot from the carpet in the living room. But I am learning that putting on a full face of make up each morning will not make me a better mother, however, snuggling in bed with my child is creating a sweet bond that I wouldn't trade for all the makeup in the world. And although I've heard that cleanliness is next to Godliness, having freshly washed hair each day will not make me a better disciple of Christ. Sure, forgoing sugar after 7:00PM might aid in my effort towards fitting back into my pre-motherhood jeans, but sitting on the back porch eating ice cream with my husband while talking about our day does a world of good for my marriage. My home may be in great need of a deep clean (and I won't even get started on my car), but I am choosing to look at the mess as evidence of a family that is growing, learning, and loving one another inside these walls. And while appearing as if I might actually have it together may make me feel better about myself, I know full well that outward appearances don't make anyone a better person. Looks are deceiving. That's why we can't rely on them but must take them at face value. God judges the heart. We can't fool him. He doesn't give two cents about our skincare regimen or whether or not our roots are showing. He made us so he knows exactly what we look like anyway. His concern is how we use our bodies. Are we using them for His glory or our own personal gain? And I don't think he's the least bit bothered by the way we keep house, or the way we don't, but rather if we are keeping him as the focus and center of our home.
Eternal perspective is the key. Because we know that charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, and we also know that people are like the flowers of the field that wither and fade. The Bible warns us about storing up nice things for ourselves here on earth because they'll be destroyed by moths and rust. And I've come to realize that this pursuit of appearances, of looking as if we've got it all together, is run in vain. A pursuit that won't lead us, or anyone else, closer to Christ. A pursuit that only yields rewards on this earth but nothing in Heaven. And so our focus has to shift away from the temporary, from the things that only matter in the here and now. These things change, but there's one thing that stays the same. God has placed us here with breath in our lungs to glorify His name. To be a light wherever we are. To be a reflection of His love and kindness to the people around us. To share gospel truth, to serve, and to build up His kingdom and make His name great. And the beauty of it all is that we can do that no matter how we look, where we live, or what season of life we're in. We simply need to "turn our eyes upon Jesus, look full in his wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of his glory and grace."
I remember the day I met Aaron as if it was last week. I scoured my closet trying to pick out an outfit that looked nice and classy but not like I had been trying too hard, either. I wanted to make a good first impression, and I guess it worked. Not that he gave me any inclination then, but he later admitted that I had made a good choice. I'll never forget the look on his face when he saw me for the first time on our wedding day. I had spent months preparing myself. I had a nice, subtle tan, a lovely dress, and had literally spent half a day getting my hair and make up done by professionals. I felt amazing! I looked the very best version of myself, physically. The next morning, I was back to looking like me. And of all the opportunities Aaron had to take a picture of his new bride, he chose to snap a candid photo of me sleeping, mouth hanging wide open, on the airplane to Cancun. Now, tell me love isn't blind. Or, in our case, has a strange sense of humor.
Annabeth came along and my days of spending a good 30-45 minutes on my appearance were cut down significantly. On my good days, I spend maybe 20 minutes. Most days, it's more like five. Not that I don't care, but I have more things to care about. Like sleep. On top of that, it's extremely hard to draw on eyeliner or dry your hair when a tiny person is using you for a jungle gym. And so I've learned how to quickly look acceptable, not exceptional. Some days acceptable means I've brushed my teeth and have showered. And while that may not cut it in the world of beauty bloggers and airbrushed magazines, here's what I am learning. My appearance does not make me a better wife, mother, friend, or disciple of Christ... and it never will.
The danger of social media, or any media for that matter, is that the images we see are not what we think. We look at women with thigh gaps and tiny waists and we immediately beat ourselves up for eating that lone fudgesicle we discovered in the bottom of the freezer during naptime. We see sunkissed skin and bouncy bust lines that knock what little self-esteem we had right back down to the ground. We view images of beautiful homes, free of clutter, sticky floors, and full of spotless white furniture and feel inadequate as we clean the hundredth spot from the carpet in the living room. But I am learning that putting on a full face of make up each morning will not make me a better mother, however, snuggling in bed with my child is creating a sweet bond that I wouldn't trade for all the makeup in the world. And although I've heard that cleanliness is next to Godliness, having freshly washed hair each day will not make me a better disciple of Christ. Sure, forgoing sugar after 7:00PM might aid in my effort towards fitting back into my pre-motherhood jeans, but sitting on the back porch eating ice cream with my husband while talking about our day does a world of good for my marriage. My home may be in great need of a deep clean (and I won't even get started on my car), but I am choosing to look at the mess as evidence of a family that is growing, learning, and loving one another inside these walls. And while appearing as if I might actually have it together may make me feel better about myself, I know full well that outward appearances don't make anyone a better person. Looks are deceiving. That's why we can't rely on them but must take them at face value. God judges the heart. We can't fool him. He doesn't give two cents about our skincare regimen or whether or not our roots are showing. He made us so he knows exactly what we look like anyway. His concern is how we use our bodies. Are we using them for His glory or our own personal gain? And I don't think he's the least bit bothered by the way we keep house, or the way we don't, but rather if we are keeping him as the focus and center of our home.
Eternal perspective is the key. Because we know that charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, and we also know that people are like the flowers of the field that wither and fade. The Bible warns us about storing up nice things for ourselves here on earth because they'll be destroyed by moths and rust. And I've come to realize that this pursuit of appearances, of looking as if we've got it all together, is run in vain. A pursuit that won't lead us, or anyone else, closer to Christ. A pursuit that only yields rewards on this earth but nothing in Heaven. And so our focus has to shift away from the temporary, from the things that only matter in the here and now. These things change, but there's one thing that stays the same. God has placed us here with breath in our lungs to glorify His name. To be a light wherever we are. To be a reflection of His love and kindness to the people around us. To share gospel truth, to serve, and to build up His kingdom and make His name great. And the beauty of it all is that we can do that no matter how we look, where we live, or what season of life we're in. We simply need to "turn our eyes upon Jesus, look full in his wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of his glory and grace."
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