mommin' ain't easy...
I always imagined having a child was of the hardest things a woman went through. The thought of labor and delivery seemed like a tactic of torture. Why did it have to be that way? So difficult and painful? I get that it's a consequence of the fall, but it seems so harsh. Why that? Why couldn't it be a little more easy and enjoyable? But the thing I've learned about having a baby is that, although labor and delivery is difficult, raising that baby is the hard part.
I don't even know how to sum up motherhood in a short amount of words so I'm not going to try. I could write for a really, really, really long time and I only have 19 months of experience. Just think what my posts will look like after I've been doing this for a few decades. Yikes! But none the less, I wanted to take some time and reflect on motherhood because this is the weekend we celebrate it!
1. Motherhood is messy. I used to have a clean, organized, and cute home. It was a source of pride, honestly. But the moment Annabeth joined us our house was filled with stuff. Brightly colored things that totally clashed with my decor. I could contain the mess, however, because I could contain my child. But the moment she began crawling things changed and now my house is a mess. And so is my car. And so are my clothes. And her clothes. And anything that she can touch or reach is a mess. But that comes with the territory, and it's totally normal. God has placed friends and mentors in my life who are helping me understand this concept and I've begun letting go. I've started to expect the mess, and you know what, when you expect it, it doesn't bother you as much. You aren't upset about crumbs in your car because crumbs can be vacuumed up. And the food stains all over your clothes can be washed out as long as you remember to treat those stains in a reasonable amount of time before you throw them in the wash. The rest of the mess in your house isn't going anywhere, so you can get to it when you get to it. And when you have time to get to it you'll want to take a nap anyway, so you'll probably have a change of heart and realize that it's really not as messy as it seems.
2. Motherhood is tiring. I really thought I'd be less tired once my child started sleeping through the night. Having a newborn brings about a whole new level of exhaustion, but there does come a point where you finally begin sleeping again and feeling like a somewhat normal human being. However, I have yet to not be tired. My child has been a great sleeper, and I still fall into bed purely exhausted every single night. In fact, I have slept harder in the past year than any other time in my life. I can sleep through pretty much any noise these days. I never hear Aaron's alarm go off in the morning nor do I hear him getting ready for work. He can wake up during the middle of the night to take the dog out, eat a snack, write emails and I sleep through it all. But the moment I hear a little peep come through the baby monitor my eyes pop open. Funny how that works, huh? The one thing that wears you out is the one thing that will keep you awake. But it's the one thing you've put all of your energy into. I was never responsible for another person's entire well being until I became a mother, and now I understand the pressure, the weight, and the worry that it brings. But earlier in the year, during a divine moment in Bible study, the teacher mentioned that it's not only okay to be tired but that it is normal and expected. I felt a weight lifted off of my shoulders. And so now I take naps when I need them. I don't try to be superwoman, I just try to be a good mother and wife and sometimes that means a little extra sleep. All I can say is thank goodness for nap time!
3. Motherhood is life changing. I really didn't know what to expect when I became a mom. I had some general ideas and was basically, completely, wrong about everything. Motherhood has changed my life, and motherhood has changed me. The things I once thought important now live on the back burner. The things I once worried about are now a distant memory. It can be easy to feel like you're losing yourself when you step into this role, but I have come to realize that God is using motherhood to transform me, to change me. Because there are many things in my life that need changing. I've been given new challenges, new perspectives, and new opportunities. God has required me great things of me but He has also blessed me immensely. I have had to learn how to adapt, be extremely flexible, and let things go. I have had to lean on Him and draw strength from Him in ways I never had to before. And as I look back on the past 19 months of motherhood, the challenges and the joys and the learning that has come with it, I am so grateful that God has used it to transform me. I needed it, and he knew I needed it, and I have a feeling that this is only the start.
Our families came over to celebrate Mother's Day last night and we ended the evening sitting on the porch talking about mothers. I love hearing my grandparents tell stories about their childhood and even their parents' childhood. It is so different from any life I've ever known. My grandad was sharing about his grandmother who had a bundle of children. He said she worked in the fields through each pregnancy up until the day the baby was born. She'd have her baby and head back out into the fields the next day to keep working. I can't even fathom doing anything but laying in bed a day after having a baby, can you? I joked about how God has placed each one of us into time right when He desired us to live and I was grateful that He chose the 21st century for me because I couldn't have done that. He said, "Well, you would have died giving birth so you wouldn't have gone back to work the next day." And in that moment my heart was so overwhelmed with gratitude at God's sovereignty. Because that's the truth. I hate to dramatize my own labor and delivery story but it came very close to not having a happy ending. But God placed me in a time in history with medical intervention, c-sections, and blood transfusions. God not only gave me the opportunity to have a baby but to be a mother. To be Annabeth's mother. And when I stop and really think through that - that God planned all of this out from the very start, I realize that although mothers can often feel taken for granted, it is a role that we should never take for granted. What a privilege we have!
I don't know what kind of mother you had. I don't know what kind of mother you are. But I do know that mommin' ain't easy. It wasn't easy back in Biblical days, in the 1800s, or even now in the 21st century. But God has given us a gift. A sweet, precious, messy, exhausting gift. And if we're wise, we'll let it change us. We'll let the late nights help us better understand the gift and fragility of life, the hand prints on the refrigerator soften our hearts, the temper tantrums and moments of discipline teach us and humble us, the piano recitals and school programs fill us with joy, and the graduations and weddings remind us to soak up every moment while we can. And we'll thank God for it all. For these little people who've impacted our lives in such a great way that we'll never be who we were before we met them. May they cause us to be even better!
I don't even know how to sum up motherhood in a short amount of words so I'm not going to try. I could write for a really, really, really long time and I only have 19 months of experience. Just think what my posts will look like after I've been doing this for a few decades. Yikes! But none the less, I wanted to take some time and reflect on motherhood because this is the weekend we celebrate it!
1. Motherhood is messy. I used to have a clean, organized, and cute home. It was a source of pride, honestly. But the moment Annabeth joined us our house was filled with stuff. Brightly colored things that totally clashed with my decor. I could contain the mess, however, because I could contain my child. But the moment she began crawling things changed and now my house is a mess. And so is my car. And so are my clothes. And her clothes. And anything that she can touch or reach is a mess. But that comes with the territory, and it's totally normal. God has placed friends and mentors in my life who are helping me understand this concept and I've begun letting go. I've started to expect the mess, and you know what, when you expect it, it doesn't bother you as much. You aren't upset about crumbs in your car because crumbs can be vacuumed up. And the food stains all over your clothes can be washed out as long as you remember to treat those stains in a reasonable amount of time before you throw them in the wash. The rest of the mess in your house isn't going anywhere, so you can get to it when you get to it. And when you have time to get to it you'll want to take a nap anyway, so you'll probably have a change of heart and realize that it's really not as messy as it seems.
2. Motherhood is tiring. I really thought I'd be less tired once my child started sleeping through the night. Having a newborn brings about a whole new level of exhaustion, but there does come a point where you finally begin sleeping again and feeling like a somewhat normal human being. However, I have yet to not be tired. My child has been a great sleeper, and I still fall into bed purely exhausted every single night. In fact, I have slept harder in the past year than any other time in my life. I can sleep through pretty much any noise these days. I never hear Aaron's alarm go off in the morning nor do I hear him getting ready for work. He can wake up during the middle of the night to take the dog out, eat a snack, write emails and I sleep through it all. But the moment I hear a little peep come through the baby monitor my eyes pop open. Funny how that works, huh? The one thing that wears you out is the one thing that will keep you awake. But it's the one thing you've put all of your energy into. I was never responsible for another person's entire well being until I became a mother, and now I understand the pressure, the weight, and the worry that it brings. But earlier in the year, during a divine moment in Bible study, the teacher mentioned that it's not only okay to be tired but that it is normal and expected. I felt a weight lifted off of my shoulders. And so now I take naps when I need them. I don't try to be superwoman, I just try to be a good mother and wife and sometimes that means a little extra sleep. All I can say is thank goodness for nap time!
3. Motherhood is life changing. I really didn't know what to expect when I became a mom. I had some general ideas and was basically, completely, wrong about everything. Motherhood has changed my life, and motherhood has changed me. The things I once thought important now live on the back burner. The things I once worried about are now a distant memory. It can be easy to feel like you're losing yourself when you step into this role, but I have come to realize that God is using motherhood to transform me, to change me. Because there are many things in my life that need changing. I've been given new challenges, new perspectives, and new opportunities. God has required me great things of me but He has also blessed me immensely. I have had to learn how to adapt, be extremely flexible, and let things go. I have had to lean on Him and draw strength from Him in ways I never had to before. And as I look back on the past 19 months of motherhood, the challenges and the joys and the learning that has come with it, I am so grateful that God has used it to transform me. I needed it, and he knew I needed it, and I have a feeling that this is only the start.
Our families came over to celebrate Mother's Day last night and we ended the evening sitting on the porch talking about mothers. I love hearing my grandparents tell stories about their childhood and even their parents' childhood. It is so different from any life I've ever known. My grandad was sharing about his grandmother who had a bundle of children. He said she worked in the fields through each pregnancy up until the day the baby was born. She'd have her baby and head back out into the fields the next day to keep working. I can't even fathom doing anything but laying in bed a day after having a baby, can you? I joked about how God has placed each one of us into time right when He desired us to live and I was grateful that He chose the 21st century for me because I couldn't have done that. He said, "Well, you would have died giving birth so you wouldn't have gone back to work the next day." And in that moment my heart was so overwhelmed with gratitude at God's sovereignty. Because that's the truth. I hate to dramatize my own labor and delivery story but it came very close to not having a happy ending. But God placed me in a time in history with medical intervention, c-sections, and blood transfusions. God not only gave me the opportunity to have a baby but to be a mother. To be Annabeth's mother. And when I stop and really think through that - that God planned all of this out from the very start, I realize that although mothers can often feel taken for granted, it is a role that we should never take for granted. What a privilege we have!
I don't know what kind of mother you had. I don't know what kind of mother you are. But I do know that mommin' ain't easy. It wasn't easy back in Biblical days, in the 1800s, or even now in the 21st century. But God has given us a gift. A sweet, precious, messy, exhausting gift. And if we're wise, we'll let it change us. We'll let the late nights help us better understand the gift and fragility of life, the hand prints on the refrigerator soften our hearts, the temper tantrums and moments of discipline teach us and humble us, the piano recitals and school programs fill us with joy, and the graduations and weddings remind us to soak up every moment while we can. And we'll thank God for it all. For these little people who've impacted our lives in such a great way that we'll never be who we were before we met them. May they cause us to be even better!
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