Reason #735
It seems that pattern of life is either overwhelming or boring. Wouldn't it be nice if it evened out and you have days that were just the right amount of busy. That would be too easy, though. And, honestly, I kind of feel like that's the trend in my walk with the Lord. It's either just really challenging or really smooth, and I wish I could balance that out.
Anyway, my mind has so many thoughts flowing around in it tonight. I'm attempting to organize them so I can make sense of each one. But the lessons come so quickly, not to mention all at once, and so it's hard for me to decide which ones I really need to learn. The truth is, I need to learn each one. Honestly, I'd just like to get away. To have a few days of solitude and silence so I can sit and think and learn. Maybe then I could really get them down, or at least scratch the surface.
The thing about these lessons is they are usually life long lessons because we're dealing with character and behaviors here. We're trying to undo and redo all that has been done for 26 years, and that takes time... maybe forever.
I started a study about conversation last week, and tonight's weekly lesson was rough. I won't lie, I left feeling kind of discouraged because I looked at myself and I thought, "You've got a lot of work ahead of you, sister." I felt overwhelmed, not even sure where or how to start. Truthfully, it motivated me to silence. The desire to just keep quiet seemed to be the best idea I could come up with. However, I have to admit that silence is a challenge for a girl who probably says more words per day than most people do in a week. And so the struggle is how to figure this out. How to find the balance between talking and silence. How to know what to say, when to say it, and if it really even needs to be said anyway.
I heard this story about a priest who was so determined to make sure that his speech was not dishonoring to God that he kept a stone in his mouth for 3 years. Every time he wanted to say something, he would just bite down on the stone as a reminder. And so for 3 years, he was silent. For three years, no words escaped from his mouth. And don't you know that by the end of three years, he had learned more than he ever thought possible? At the end of three years, I bet his speech was transformed, and I can only imagine that when he finally spoke, his words were full of value, wisdom, and worth.
Maybe the thing we get mixed up is quantity and quality. We feel like we have a lot to say, and so we make sure to say it all. But maybe really we only need to worry about saying the quality things. And if we don't have quality things to say, maybe saying nothing really is the wisest route. Because no words are better than negative words, gossip-y words, and cutting words.
"In true communication, I am more interested in understanding than being understood, in listening than being listened to, and in giving than getting. I am less interested in me and more interested in you." - Mary Kassian, Conversation Peace
#735 - Because He hears our words, even when we have a hard time finding the right ones, and He knows what we mean.
"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer." - Psalm 19:14
Anyway, my mind has so many thoughts flowing around in it tonight. I'm attempting to organize them so I can make sense of each one. But the lessons come so quickly, not to mention all at once, and so it's hard for me to decide which ones I really need to learn. The truth is, I need to learn each one. Honestly, I'd just like to get away. To have a few days of solitude and silence so I can sit and think and learn. Maybe then I could really get them down, or at least scratch the surface.
The thing about these lessons is they are usually life long lessons because we're dealing with character and behaviors here. We're trying to undo and redo all that has been done for 26 years, and that takes time... maybe forever.
I started a study about conversation last week, and tonight's weekly lesson was rough. I won't lie, I left feeling kind of discouraged because I looked at myself and I thought, "You've got a lot of work ahead of you, sister." I felt overwhelmed, not even sure where or how to start. Truthfully, it motivated me to silence. The desire to just keep quiet seemed to be the best idea I could come up with. However, I have to admit that silence is a challenge for a girl who probably says more words per day than most people do in a week. And so the struggle is how to figure this out. How to find the balance between talking and silence. How to know what to say, when to say it, and if it really even needs to be said anyway.
I heard this story about a priest who was so determined to make sure that his speech was not dishonoring to God that he kept a stone in his mouth for 3 years. Every time he wanted to say something, he would just bite down on the stone as a reminder. And so for 3 years, he was silent. For three years, no words escaped from his mouth. And don't you know that by the end of three years, he had learned more than he ever thought possible? At the end of three years, I bet his speech was transformed, and I can only imagine that when he finally spoke, his words were full of value, wisdom, and worth.
Maybe the thing we get mixed up is quantity and quality. We feel like we have a lot to say, and so we make sure to say it all. But maybe really we only need to worry about saying the quality things. And if we don't have quality things to say, maybe saying nothing really is the wisest route. Because no words are better than negative words, gossip-y words, and cutting words.
"In true communication, I am more interested in understanding than being understood, in listening than being listened to, and in giving than getting. I am less interested in me and more interested in you." - Mary Kassian, Conversation Peace
#735 - Because He hears our words, even when we have a hard time finding the right ones, and He knows what we mean.
"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer." - Psalm 19:14
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