Reason #681

I don't know what I was thinking today. I wasn't thinking, I suppose. That's what happens when you park in the garage. You forget how the elements affect your car. I got a few blocks away from my house, and the little bits of moisture falling from the sky were instantly turning into ice on my windshield. Of course, my windshield wipers only aided is spreading the ice. I cranked up the heater in an attempt to defrost as much of the windshield as I could. I ended up being able to clear off the bottom third of the window, thus causing me to slouch down in my seat and tilt my head so I could see where I was going.

I realized that if my first few minutes of driving were already that bad, my car was going to be a block of ice after sitting outside for 9 hours. I was right. And, go figure that I didn't grab gloves on the way out of the house this morning... or a scarf... or anything to put on my ears... and I didn't wear the best choice of shoes...or pants. I had a jacket. That's about the only good decision I made this morning when getting dressed. Aaron called me at 5:00 to see if I was headed home. I told him I was actually headed out to chip ice off of my car. He was on his way to the airport but volunteered to stop by and scrape my windows for me. My hero! I hate being cold, and it would have taken me a good half an hour on my own to get my windows scrapped off. Aaron to the rescue! And so not too long after his arrival, my windows were ice free and my feet, ears, legs, and hands were really glad!

It's those situations that not only make me greatly appreciate Aaron but remind me again of how lucky I am to be his wife. As far as I know, I didn't see anyone else's husbands up there scraping ice, and not a single one of my male co-workers volunteered to help with that process. At 19 degrees, we were all looking out for number one today. And truth be told, we are all capable of scraping our own windows. I shouldn't discount the lack of offers to help as I work with a lot of independent, self-sufficient people. I like to think of myself as such, and Aaron knows this about me. In fact, sometimes I like to be a little too independent, which he also knows. Yet that didn't stop him from offering to come help me out today, and I couldn't have been more thankful for the helping, or should I say scraping, hand!

I hugged him goodbye and wished him safe travels. I got home to find a little note on my pillow, and my heart melted. I love those little notes. I'm a sucker for anything written because those are the things you get to keep. Those are the things you pull out to look over when you're reliving your youth to your grandkids. There's just something really special to me about having things written down. It's as if they are solidified, you know. Because when you write things, you have to really think about what you want to say versus when talking. It's the things on paper that you get to keep forever so that if for some reason you ever forget, you can always go back and remember.

Aaron and I wrote our own wedding vows... on paper. You could see our personality differences by that alone, as I took up the front and back of a piece of lined notebook paper torn from my journal while Aaron typed his out and laminated it on an index card. We both had a lot to say, we just said it in different ways. Actually, we said a lot of the same things. That was almost 7 months ago. And, being home by myself tonight, I realized that I am starting to forget what life was like before Aaron. What did I do with my time? Anyway, I spent the evening cleaning our house and praying he had a safe flight. Distance really makes you think, at least it does for me. And I just thought about how grateful I am for Aaron. I thought about how interesting marriage is. How wild love is, in fact. It's such a peculiar things that evokes so many emotions, but overall I thought about how I never want to go back to life alone. About how I never want to be in a spot to where I might actually forget what life with Aaron is like. And I am so grateful that we have that piece of paper stating I won't ever have to worry about that.

On paper, I wouldn't have picked me out for Aaron. On paper, I don't know that he would have picked me out either. In fact, if I was to describe the girl I would have designed for Aaron, she wouldn't have been anything like me. She would have been that girl that I'm not... the one I usually blog about. The one who is really kind, passive, patient, gentle, super compassionate, and sickeningly sweet. That's who I would have chosen for him. I often feel like I got the good end of the deal here because he's what I would have designed exactly for myself! But sometimes in marriage we forget that. We have these ideas of what our spouse should, or is supposed to, look like, act like, think like, and speak like and well, that doesn't always happen as imagined. We forget that we are married to a person who has their own thoughts, feelings, ideas, habits, and personality. An individual who had a lot of years to work on their individualism before we came along and created a team of individualists. And so it can be real struggle. I'll be the first to tell you that I am not a perfect wife. Heck, I'll admit I'm not even a good one half of the time. And I know there are days that I fail. I made sure to let Aaron know up front that I was really imperfect so that he didn't expect perfection from me, and I can say I've stuck to that one pretty well. But the crazy thing about love and marriage is that no matter how imperfect and frustrating and difficult certain days are, you can't imagine your life any other way. You can't imagine going through the mess with anyone else, and even if you are fuming mad, there's no one else you'd rather be mad at than them. Good or bad, happy or sad, they are the one you want. Because on the days when it's freezing cold, who shows up with an ice scraper? When you are blowing your way through a box of tissues, who brings you medicine and a bag of your favorite M&M's so that you'll start to feel better? And who is the one who agreeably goes with you to see Disney movies because you love them? Or the one who shares their coveted slice of lemon cake with you even though you said you didn't want dessert? Who is the one who will rub your feet even when they are questionable, will lovingly deal with your anxiety when it's unrealistic, will forgive you again and again and again and again, and will make a point every night to say "I love you" before turning out the lights?

I could keep going for a while, but I think you know the answer. And so tonight I am grateful for all of the sweet, thoughtful, kind things Aaron does for me. That he goes out of his way to take care of me and is always looking out for me. That he asks to help, rather than having to be asked for help. I'm thankful that he loves me on the good and bad days, the days when I fail, when I let him down, and when I don't do a very good job of being a wife. And I'm thankful that he meant what he wrote down tonight as well as 7 months ago because I can't imagine life any other way.

#681 - For a husband who is my hero!

"In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life." - 1 Peter 3:7

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