Reason #957

I remember getting to a point in my life a few years ago where I thought, “Really, this is it? This is what my life has amounted to?” I was miserable. There really wasn’t a single area of my life that I was pleased with, and if I’m being honest, I was disappointed in how things had turned out. I had all of these wonderful ideas of how the pieces would fall together when I graduated college and nothing had lived up to my expectations. Truthfully, I didn’t have unrealistic expectations, I just expected to be happy. I expected to enjoy my post-college life, and I didn’t. Not one bit. My life felt so empty. I felt so useless and frustrated all the time, and I was discouraged. Really, the one thing I had going for my was my family, but that was about it. They were my only bright spot, my saving grace. Well, them and Scout, but she came into the picture at the end.

 

It seemed like life was full of adventure and possibility when I was in college. It was as if I could do anything. There were no limits, and the world was at my fingertips. But I didn’t really embrace that kind of freedom. It scared me, although I don’t think I realized it at the time. Because I didn’t have a clear plan. I didn’t know what I wanted to do when I graduated, and I think, deep down, I wasn’t confident that I could take on the world by myself. I had always pictured myself in a certain role, not a certain job. That role presented itself and I took it. A job came along, too, and it really appeared like I was living the American Dream. The truth was, life was slowly being sucked out of me. I wasn’t happy anymore. I mean I was, but I wasn’t. It was more of a happy-because-I-know-I-should-be kind of happy. I looked at my life and although I didn’t feel grateful, I knew I should be. I had everything I had ever wanted. I didn’t have anything to complain about, but for some reason my joy was gone and I couldn’t find it. I figured it was work. I figured it was because I had a job I seriously disliked, and I do think that had something to do with it. But there was something else I couldn’t put my finger on. There was something that was robbing me of being the girl I had always been, and I just longed to be her once again. I missed the old Brittnye, the way she felt, the hope she had, and the happiness she had always known.

 

It was early summer, and the college minister presented a leadership opportunity. For the first time in a few years, I felt it. There was this twinge of excitement that I couldn’t really explain. It was like a little bit of life returned and old feelings began to resurface. But part of me was hesitant. Although I fully wanted to drive right in, I didn’t have a peace about it. I felt the Lord saying, “If you do this, take on a small role - not a big commitment.” And although I wasn’t sure why, I was just glad for the opportunity. I thought that maybe this would be the turning point. After all, this was one of the things I had greatly missed and something my heart had desired for a really long time. But a few months after that discussion, I found out that my marriage was ending with no warning signs. It was a dead sprint to the end, and it happened in record time. There wasn’t a day of reconsideration, a joint-party attempt at reconciliation, and I found myself single within 3 short months. My church leadership opportunity died along with the relationship as I felt completely unqualified to take on such a role…ever. I was also the odd ball in my married couples Sunday school class. They loved on me and even asked me to stay, but it was too hard. The group of people that I had grown close to, the ones who had become my friends, were no longer in the same life stage as I was and I found myself feeling very alone. As if that wasn’t enough, about a month or so after I had just started to try and recover from a huge downfall, I found out I was also losing my dream job. The company I worked for, the bank who had been around for over 60 years and prided themselves in being family owned, sold out to a corporate bank and I knew that was it. I knew my job would drastically change as would my chances of promotion. And within 5 months, my entire life, everything I knew and had grown used to, was completely interrupted in a way I never saw coming.

 

I’m studying Jonah with my bible study girls over the next few weeks, and the author made a point last night that really struck a chord with me. Before Jonah’s life was interrupted, we knew his name, his job, his hometown, his religion, and who he was related to. It was the interruption that started a new story. It was the interruption that sparked the great adventure that God had planned for him. And that’s what we know. That’s what we want to read about. The interruption is what amazes us because we see God’s mighty power displayed in unimaginable ways. We see God working and using Jonah in ways that he did not expect, and it’s because of the interruption that God is able to use Jonah in a big way. Sure, God had used Jonah beforehand, but because Jonah’s life was interrupted and his plans were changed, an entire city came to know the Lord as their God, and we’re getting to read about it thousands of years later. The author encourages us not to look at life’s interruptions as such a negative thing but to view them as divine intervention, because that’s truly what they are.

 

I am thankful every day that the Lord divinely intervened in my life. Thankful that He restored my joy and my hope. My life is far from perfect, but it’s abundant. God has shown me that His abilities have no limit. That the possibilities are endless when we surrender our lives to Him. That just because it’s not what we expected doesn’t mean He can’t make it better. He can fix all things, we just have to have a willing spirit. And when we let the Lord work in our lives and do His will, we find that we are most fulfilled, most satisfied, and most useful. After all, it’s His will that makes the story worth reading. It’s His plans that make life a worthwhile adventure, and it’s His ways that cause our lives to amount to something beautiful.  

 

#957 - For life's interruptions that are really His divine interventions.

 

"Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground." - Psalm 143:10