Reason #971
Well, we're in the 20s friends, and I've been wondering how it's going to end. I have to fight off the ideas that this huge, amazingly good surprise will happen on October 21. But I could be completely wrong. Who knows. Really, it's just best not to try and guess or set expectations because rarely do things happen as planned. I know that by now, and you probably do, too. Really, I'll just be glad to make it to October 21. That in itself will be quite a feat!
I am reading this book about visions, not like dreams and visions, but about being a visionary. About having a vision and making it happen. At the beginning of the book the author made a distinction between dreamers and visionaries. He said, "Dreamers hope that someone else will make it happen, visionaries find a way to make it happen." But before I got too many pages into the book, he made sure to note that our visions should really be God's visions for us. We should see what God is calling us to do and then work with Him to accomplish that. And the truth is, the more I have read this book, the more I've wondered what God's vision is for my life. More than anything, I hope I am accomplishing it. But I thought back to about 971 days ago, in January of 2012, when God clearly gave me a vision for my blog. I've never deemed my blog a vision, but I suppose that's what it is. God didn't paint a clear picture for me or show me what it was going to look like. It wasn't this crazy magical moment where, like Daniel, I saw writing on the wall or had a wildly vivid dream that made total sense. I just felt this nudging, this urging, within that grew into an idea I had never considered. A thought I had never entertained. Because the truth is, I thought it was kind of strange. I didn't think "blogging" was really going to accomplish much of anything, plus I didn't have this burning desire to write. But God made it so clear and evident that this was what He was calling me to that I just thought, "Well, I need to do this." I didn't understand why. I didn't even know how in the world I would get to 1000. The only thing I was certain of was that God was going to get me there, and so I typed out my first ever blog entry with an incredible amount of unexpected ease.
I'm not going to lie, I've had many moments along the way where I've wondered why God laid this on my heart. I definitely had my own dreams and ideas as to how this would turn out, and I've really had to trust that God has used it for the purpose He intended because the things I had in mind for my blog haven't completely come to fruition. But I am reminded that this blog was not my vision in the first place, it was God's. He just afforded me the opportunity to be the vessel in which He would carry it out. I never knew I loved to write so much, but God did. I didn't know so many things would happen in my life worth writing about for 1000 days, but God did. And I sit here tonight feeling quite emotional and sentimental because I wonder if this is it. It is hard for me to think that God's vision for my blog was simply the one He gave me at the start, to find 1000 reasons to smile. I've had people say things like, "You should turn this into a book," and I'm always amazed that anyone would think this is shelf worthy material, and yet as much as my heart would love that opportunity, I have to wonder if that is a Brittnye-vision or a God vision. Is that something the Lord is calling me to do, or is that something I'd like to achieve on my own? Is 1000 reasons God's vision for me and 1000 reasons alone?
One step at a time. That's how things are accomplished. In my case, it has been one day at a time. And each day, God has been faithful to give me words and the opportunity to write. Even on the days where I wanted to take credit, on the days where my motives may not have been so pure and I felt pretty proud of myself, God was gracious to give me another day. Gracious to keep allowing me another opportunity, and merciful to instruct and teach me along the way. And even when I failed to give credit where credit was due, when I was pleased with my own skills and my own accomplishments, God showed me compassion by continuing to write a story worth telling rather than letting me pridefully think I had arrived. Because the truth is, if it weren't for God, if it weren't for what He has done and is doing in my life, if it weren't for the fact that He saved my soul at the age of 7, that He let me make the choices I made and then redeemed the pieces of my brokenness, were it not for the fact that God was 100% faithful to me through every thing I've been through, this wouldn't exist. I'd have absolutely nothing to write about, especially anything worth reading.
And so if 1000 is it, then I am thankful for 1000 reasons. If 1000 is a stepping stone, then I look forward to what is next. If 1000 leads to 2000 and then to 10,000, then I'll keep doing what He called me to do 971 days ago. But all I can do now is wait. Wait on the Lord and see what's next. To faithfully take each day as it comes and trust that the foundation He has built has accomplished, or is accomplishing, what He had envisioned. And I praise Him for preparing me for this, and this for me, long before the idea was ever planted in my mind. Twenty nine days and counting, but God always answers on time.
#971 - Because He has a vision for my life.
"For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." - Ephesians 2:10
I am reading this book about visions, not like dreams and visions, but about being a visionary. About having a vision and making it happen. At the beginning of the book the author made a distinction between dreamers and visionaries. He said, "Dreamers hope that someone else will make it happen, visionaries find a way to make it happen." But before I got too many pages into the book, he made sure to note that our visions should really be God's visions for us. We should see what God is calling us to do and then work with Him to accomplish that. And the truth is, the more I have read this book, the more I've wondered what God's vision is for my life. More than anything, I hope I am accomplishing it. But I thought back to about 971 days ago, in January of 2012, when God clearly gave me a vision for my blog. I've never deemed my blog a vision, but I suppose that's what it is. God didn't paint a clear picture for me or show me what it was going to look like. It wasn't this crazy magical moment where, like Daniel, I saw writing on the wall or had a wildly vivid dream that made total sense. I just felt this nudging, this urging, within that grew into an idea I had never considered. A thought I had never entertained. Because the truth is, I thought it was kind of strange. I didn't think "blogging" was really going to accomplish much of anything, plus I didn't have this burning desire to write. But God made it so clear and evident that this was what He was calling me to that I just thought, "Well, I need to do this." I didn't understand why. I didn't even know how in the world I would get to 1000. The only thing I was certain of was that God was going to get me there, and so I typed out my first ever blog entry with an incredible amount of unexpected ease.
I'm not going to lie, I've had many moments along the way where I've wondered why God laid this on my heart. I definitely had my own dreams and ideas as to how this would turn out, and I've really had to trust that God has used it for the purpose He intended because the things I had in mind for my blog haven't completely come to fruition. But I am reminded that this blog was not my vision in the first place, it was God's. He just afforded me the opportunity to be the vessel in which He would carry it out. I never knew I loved to write so much, but God did. I didn't know so many things would happen in my life worth writing about for 1000 days, but God did. And I sit here tonight feeling quite emotional and sentimental because I wonder if this is it. It is hard for me to think that God's vision for my blog was simply the one He gave me at the start, to find 1000 reasons to smile. I've had people say things like, "You should turn this into a book," and I'm always amazed that anyone would think this is shelf worthy material, and yet as much as my heart would love that opportunity, I have to wonder if that is a Brittnye-vision or a God vision. Is that something the Lord is calling me to do, or is that something I'd like to achieve on my own? Is 1000 reasons God's vision for me and 1000 reasons alone?
One step at a time. That's how things are accomplished. In my case, it has been one day at a time. And each day, God has been faithful to give me words and the opportunity to write. Even on the days where I wanted to take credit, on the days where my motives may not have been so pure and I felt pretty proud of myself, God was gracious to give me another day. Gracious to keep allowing me another opportunity, and merciful to instruct and teach me along the way. And even when I failed to give credit where credit was due, when I was pleased with my own skills and my own accomplishments, God showed me compassion by continuing to write a story worth telling rather than letting me pridefully think I had arrived. Because the truth is, if it weren't for God, if it weren't for what He has done and is doing in my life, if it weren't for the fact that He saved my soul at the age of 7, that He let me make the choices I made and then redeemed the pieces of my brokenness, were it not for the fact that God was 100% faithful to me through every thing I've been through, this wouldn't exist. I'd have absolutely nothing to write about, especially anything worth reading.
And so if 1000 is it, then I am thankful for 1000 reasons. If 1000 is a stepping stone, then I look forward to what is next. If 1000 leads to 2000 and then to 10,000, then I'll keep doing what He called me to do 971 days ago. But all I can do now is wait. Wait on the Lord and see what's next. To faithfully take each day as it comes and trust that the foundation He has built has accomplished, or is accomplishing, what He had envisioned. And I praise Him for preparing me for this, and this for me, long before the idea was ever planted in my mind. Twenty nine days and counting, but God always answers on time.
#971 - Because He has a vision for my life.
"For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." - Ephesians 2:10
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