Reason #140
I had a job interview in January. I was feeling as if I needed a change and an internal audit position opened up at the bank. As you may recall, my degree is in accouting so this was actually a job I was "qualified" for. Of course, I absolutely love what I do, but I knew that this job would pay more and a little extra cash isn't a bad thing when you have a mortgage payment to make each month, right? I also thought it might be a stepping stone to help grow my career, so I sent my resume to HR and was called in to interview the next week. Now, I am one of those strange people who actually enjoys the interview process. I have never been nervous to go to an interview, and this one was exceptionally easy because I knew the 4 people asking the questions.
I went to talk with my boss the day before the interview to let her know that I might potentially be changing jobs. I have the absolute best boss ever, and she was so kind and understanding of my reasons for this potential career change. She expressed her sadness of losing me as an employee but made sure I knew that she was supportive of my final decision, what ever it might be.
So for the next few days I wrestled about what to do. I prayed and prayed for clarity but was having a hard time understanding the path that God wanted me to take. I hated to walk away from a job that I loved and enjoyed along with co-workers who are very near and dear to my heart, but I was going to be receiving a significant raise if I switched positions and now that I was fully supporting myself, I knew the extra income would be helpful. I finally decided (and told God) that if the job was offered to me, then I would see that as the answer to make the career change. If the job wasn't offered to me, then it was clear that I was right where I needed to be.
It was finally the morning of my interview. I "suited up" in the one pair of dress pants that fit me at the time and felt fully prepared to answer any question that might be thrown at me. My boss called me into her office an hour before the interview to let me know that she had gone to her boss with this news and that the two of them were willing to fight to keep me where I was. They didn't know if there was anything they could do to change my mind but they didn't want me to make the move. Talk about pressure! This was most definitely not making my decision any easier. I told her I apprecaited that and to be truthful, it meant a lot to me that they were fighting for me. That they wanted me. In fact, this was the first time in months that I had felt needed. The first time in a long time that I was feeling desired rather than rejected. It was nice to be apprecaited. So I walked across the street and sat in the HR conference room answering questions for a good 45 minutes. I left feeling pretty good about the interview and really confused about what I was to do. In less than an hour, I received a phone call with a job offer and a sizeable salary increase. Thankfully, it was a Friday and they were willing to give me the weekend to think about it.
I left work that day feeling a little frustrated yet incredibly flattered at the same time. I realized that either way, I was going to be letting someone down. Logically, it made sense to take the audit job, but my heart was with my current job. And I was a little annoyed that both doors had been opened when I so specifically prayed that only one would be opened. What was I to do?
All weekend I prayed and I asked and I just couldn't make my mind up. Thoughts of leaving my current position created anxiety and sadness, but I just told myself that it was due to my fear of change. That was all. I told myself that this was a wonderful opportunity and that before long I would settle into the new position and would enjoy it. But I just couldn't shake that gut-wrenching feeling. I really needed an answer.
And so on Sunday I received a phone call from my grandad. I've mentioned him before. He's the mighty prayer warrior. The wise one. He had run into a man with much banking experience. This man was actually a co-worker of mine. And so, being the smart man he is, my grandad asked what would be the best option for me. To my surprise, this man suggested that I stay put and had a lot of great reasons why that was the best decision.
There it was. My obvious answer. A Sunday afternoon phone call made the decision for me. So, I walked into my boss' office on Monday morning and I told her I was going to stay. I was going to trust that God was going to keep taking care of me because I felt like this was where I needed to be. This job had been an answered prayer in more ways than one, and I didn't feel at peace about leaving. I finally decided that if I didn't feel right moving on, then I didn't need to do it. And so, with tears in both of our eyes, we hugged and I knew in that moment that I was making the right decision. I called HR and e-mailed the others to let them know that I wouldn't be taking the job I had spent 45 mintues convincing them I would be the best candidate for. I did my best to give them an explanation and just hoped that they somehow understood.
And who would have thought that a month later I would be sitting in a conference room hearing that the bank was about to undergo a huge change. An unknown, undetermined change for many. And for months, my co-workers have been moving on. Changing careers and changing employers. Each time one leaves, I get a notice. Today, I scrolled through my e-mails and saw a notice for the person who would have been my manager had I changed positions. Today, I realized that the best career change was to not make a career change.
So I began to praise Him as I saw how He had answered my prayers so specifically in January. I realized that the anxious gut feeling I got was the answer. The feeling that I so often justify, the feeling that I make excuses for is usually the answer that I am praying for. And for the first time in a long time, I actually listened to it and went with it rather than going against it. Something I wish I would have done a long time ago, but I suppose its never too late to learn.
Sometimes things don't make sense. You put it to paper, write out the pro's and the con's, ask around, get opinions and the final decision just doesn't make sense. But listening is the key. Listening and trusting even when it doesn't make sense. Because when you do those things that don't make sense at the time, you usually end up looking back and seeing that it all makes perfect sense.
So I'm glad to serve a God who makes sense out of everything. A God who sees the big picture, the full picture. And I'm looking forward to the day when I, too, get to see how every uncertain decision, every unsure detail, every uneasy path made perfect sense.
#140 - Because eventually, it all makes sense.
"Your instructions are more valuable to me than millions in gold and silver.You made me; you created me. Now give me the sense to follow your commands." - Psalm 119:72-73
"For the Lord grants wisdom! From his mouth come knowledge and understanding. He grants a treasure of common sense to the honest. He is a shield to those who walk with integrity. He guards the paths of the just and protects those who are faithful to him." - Proverbs 2:6-8
I went to talk with my boss the day before the interview to let her know that I might potentially be changing jobs. I have the absolute best boss ever, and she was so kind and understanding of my reasons for this potential career change. She expressed her sadness of losing me as an employee but made sure I knew that she was supportive of my final decision, what ever it might be.
So for the next few days I wrestled about what to do. I prayed and prayed for clarity but was having a hard time understanding the path that God wanted me to take. I hated to walk away from a job that I loved and enjoyed along with co-workers who are very near and dear to my heart, but I was going to be receiving a significant raise if I switched positions and now that I was fully supporting myself, I knew the extra income would be helpful. I finally decided (and told God) that if the job was offered to me, then I would see that as the answer to make the career change. If the job wasn't offered to me, then it was clear that I was right where I needed to be.
It was finally the morning of my interview. I "suited up" in the one pair of dress pants that fit me at the time and felt fully prepared to answer any question that might be thrown at me. My boss called me into her office an hour before the interview to let me know that she had gone to her boss with this news and that the two of them were willing to fight to keep me where I was. They didn't know if there was anything they could do to change my mind but they didn't want me to make the move. Talk about pressure! This was most definitely not making my decision any easier. I told her I apprecaited that and to be truthful, it meant a lot to me that they were fighting for me. That they wanted me. In fact, this was the first time in months that I had felt needed. The first time in a long time that I was feeling desired rather than rejected. It was nice to be apprecaited. So I walked across the street and sat in the HR conference room answering questions for a good 45 minutes. I left feeling pretty good about the interview and really confused about what I was to do. In less than an hour, I received a phone call with a job offer and a sizeable salary increase. Thankfully, it was a Friday and they were willing to give me the weekend to think about it.
I left work that day feeling a little frustrated yet incredibly flattered at the same time. I realized that either way, I was going to be letting someone down. Logically, it made sense to take the audit job, but my heart was with my current job. And I was a little annoyed that both doors had been opened when I so specifically prayed that only one would be opened. What was I to do?
All weekend I prayed and I asked and I just couldn't make my mind up. Thoughts of leaving my current position created anxiety and sadness, but I just told myself that it was due to my fear of change. That was all. I told myself that this was a wonderful opportunity and that before long I would settle into the new position and would enjoy it. But I just couldn't shake that gut-wrenching feeling. I really needed an answer.
And so on Sunday I received a phone call from my grandad. I've mentioned him before. He's the mighty prayer warrior. The wise one. He had run into a man with much banking experience. This man was actually a co-worker of mine. And so, being the smart man he is, my grandad asked what would be the best option for me. To my surprise, this man suggested that I stay put and had a lot of great reasons why that was the best decision.
There it was. My obvious answer. A Sunday afternoon phone call made the decision for me. So, I walked into my boss' office on Monday morning and I told her I was going to stay. I was going to trust that God was going to keep taking care of me because I felt like this was where I needed to be. This job had been an answered prayer in more ways than one, and I didn't feel at peace about leaving. I finally decided that if I didn't feel right moving on, then I didn't need to do it. And so, with tears in both of our eyes, we hugged and I knew in that moment that I was making the right decision. I called HR and e-mailed the others to let them know that I wouldn't be taking the job I had spent 45 mintues convincing them I would be the best candidate for. I did my best to give them an explanation and just hoped that they somehow understood.
And who would have thought that a month later I would be sitting in a conference room hearing that the bank was about to undergo a huge change. An unknown, undetermined change for many. And for months, my co-workers have been moving on. Changing careers and changing employers. Each time one leaves, I get a notice. Today, I scrolled through my e-mails and saw a notice for the person who would have been my manager had I changed positions. Today, I realized that the best career change was to not make a career change.
So I began to praise Him as I saw how He had answered my prayers so specifically in January. I realized that the anxious gut feeling I got was the answer. The feeling that I so often justify, the feeling that I make excuses for is usually the answer that I am praying for. And for the first time in a long time, I actually listened to it and went with it rather than going against it. Something I wish I would have done a long time ago, but I suppose its never too late to learn.
Sometimes things don't make sense. You put it to paper, write out the pro's and the con's, ask around, get opinions and the final decision just doesn't make sense. But listening is the key. Listening and trusting even when it doesn't make sense. Because when you do those things that don't make sense at the time, you usually end up looking back and seeing that it all makes perfect sense.
So I'm glad to serve a God who makes sense out of everything. A God who sees the big picture, the full picture. And I'm looking forward to the day when I, too, get to see how every uncertain decision, every unsure detail, every uneasy path made perfect sense.
#140 - Because eventually, it all makes sense.
"Your instructions are more valuable to me than millions in gold and silver.You made me; you created me. Now give me the sense to follow your commands." - Psalm 119:72-73
"For the Lord grants wisdom! From his mouth come knowledge and understanding. He grants a treasure of common sense to the honest. He is a shield to those who walk with integrity. He guards the paths of the just and protects those who are faithful to him." - Proverbs 2:6-8
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