Reason #141
I used to hate weekends. Really, from October to March, I dreaded every weekend. I hated having so much free time. I couldn't sleep, I didn't enjoy anything, and I had way too much time to just think. And so each weekend was pure misery. Saturdays drug out and I absolutely did not look forward to going to church alone on Sunday mornings. I couldn't wait for Monday. I was thankful for the distraction of work and thankful that being at work forced me to be somewhat cheery and upbeat. But by the end of each week I was exhausted, worn out from keeping my "brave face" on, so I was ready for the weekend. A few days to let my guard down. A few days to get it all out. A few days to crumble. And as I mentioned in a previous post, I didn't spend much alone time during those months. I had pretty much turned into an emotional leech. The few times I was home alone, my mom would come over to find me sitting in the dark crying. I remember one Friday night, she came over and I had been torturing myself for hours by watching 'Say Yes to the Dress.' Normally, this show would have been right up my alley. At the time, it was a terrible idea to be watching it. After that night, I learned that TLC was a channel I needed to avoid for a while.
So 5 days would pass and the weekends still came. And who doesn't love the weekends? A break from work, time to realx, time to have fun. Count me out.
Well, today is Saturday, and it was a wonderful Saturday at that! And as I walked and talked tonight, I reflected on my day and thought about how much I have already enjoyed this weekend and it's not even over. After having breakfast with one of my nearest and dearest friends this morning, I spent a few hours alone at home before heading out for some retail therapy. As I painted my nails and listened to a sermon online, it occured to me that I was actually enjoying this down time. This alone time wasn't the least bit torturous. I began to realize that I have come a long way. Rather, I should say that He has brought me a long way. Because the weekends have been good for quite some time now. I've slept, I've done things I enjoy, and the pain provoking thoughts are far from my mind. I can now look back and see that He not only carried me through the weeks but held me close on the weekends, too.
Tomorrow is Sunday, and I'm looking forward to it. The last day of the weekend. I'm back to feeling like the weekends pass too quickly. A break from work, time to relax, time to have fun. Count me in!
#141 - Enjoyable weekends.
"Praise the Lord; praise God our savior! For each day he carries us in his arms." - Psalm 68:19
So 5 days would pass and the weekends still came. And who doesn't love the weekends? A break from work, time to realx, time to have fun. Count me out.
Well, today is Saturday, and it was a wonderful Saturday at that! And as I walked and talked tonight, I reflected on my day and thought about how much I have already enjoyed this weekend and it's not even over. After having breakfast with one of my nearest and dearest friends this morning, I spent a few hours alone at home before heading out for some retail therapy. As I painted my nails and listened to a sermon online, it occured to me that I was actually enjoying this down time. This alone time wasn't the least bit torturous. I began to realize that I have come a long way. Rather, I should say that He has brought me a long way. Because the weekends have been good for quite some time now. I've slept, I've done things I enjoy, and the pain provoking thoughts are far from my mind. I can now look back and see that He not only carried me through the weeks but held me close on the weekends, too.
Tomorrow is Sunday, and I'm looking forward to it. The last day of the weekend. I'm back to feeling like the weekends pass too quickly. A break from work, time to relax, time to have fun. Count me in!
#141 - Enjoyable weekends.
"Praise the Lord; praise God our savior! For each day he carries us in his arms." - Psalm 68:19
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