Reason #167
I have laid in bed and pressed snooze for a good 30-45 minutes every morning this week, thus making me 30-45 minutes late(r) to work each day.
I went to bed last night feeling so completely blessed. So full because of how good God is. And the feeling carried over into the morning. I drug myself out of bed and slowly got ready. Something about summer mornings really slow me down. Maybe it's the bright, warm sunlight. Maybe it's the fact that I still miss the days of having summers off. I bet that's it. I won't pretend that when May rolls around I don't start second guessing my career choice. But I know me too well, and I know that I couldn't make it in a classroom for the other 9 months out of the year.
So I drove to work with much ease. No traffic, just like I prefer, as everyone was already at work by this time of the morning. I began my morning conversation. I thought about Little T. I mentioned him a few posts ago. I prayed for him and for his family. I wondered if he was hungry today. I wondered if he had been having a good day. And the more I talked about him, the more I started to realize how incredible it was that I know this little guy who lives all the way across the world and that God was watching both of as I was speaking. Time zones away, but He was aware of our every moves. And I thought about how limited my mind is sometimes. I thought about the same God who designed and formed me 24 years ago, the same God who picked out my details and created my innermost being, did the same thing for Little T four years ago. And this thought, a simple one really, just blew my mind...
And the day contined to be mind-blowing for me. Mind-blowing because my limited mind was pushed past its human limits. Today, God overwhelmed me in such simple ways. Today, He revealed Himself to me, allowed me to see and understand Him a little better. He gave me insight into His ways, and I spent the later half of the day covered in chills.
Tonight, I went on a walk with my mom and I told her about my mind-blowing day. And truth be told, it's hard to put it in words. But I thought back to this morning and I thought back to many of my morning commute conversations. I recalled a period of time where my morning conversations became mundane. My life was mundane. Routine. Work, come home, eat dinner, watch TV, go to bed, repeat. And my prayer life began to look the same. I made sure to cover the bases. I make sure to talk "at" God, talk "to" God, but rarely did I talk "with" God. But there was one line I left in there that I prayed each day. "Use me, Lord."
Sometimes when we pray, we don't know what we're praying for. Sometimes we give up praying on certain things because it just seems like we've prayed long enough that if something was going to come from it, it would have by now. Sometimes we avoid praying for things. But every day I would utter those words, "Use me, Lord." I didn't really know what I was praying for. I just wanted to be used. I didn't know how, and somedays I just said it out of habit.
God answers prayers. And the thing is, rarely does He answer in the form our little limited human minds expect. I had been diligent about asking but I wasn't really expecting too much. Because what I meant was, "Use me, Lord, but don't do anything crazy. Don't make me do anything hard. Just work a little magic, make it really easy, don't make me wait long and do something super cool." I had my thoughts and ideas of what "Use me" was going to look like. I figured I would wake up one morning, know exactly what the task was, He was going to have worked it all out and bam, I'd be used. It was going to be a beautiful thing! Smooth and easy! I could wrap my mind around that.
Today, I finally got it. Today, I finally saw how He has been answereing that prayer I've muttered day after day for years. And initially, it wasn't how I thought He would do it. Not what I had expected. I had to go through some hard things, it was far from easy, it required a lot of waiting and it wasn't super cool. Really, when I think about it all, it is crazy! I can't wrap my human mind around it. And the thing is, I am still unsure of what the task is, but He gave me a little more insight today. He pulled back the curtain a little wider for me. And it blows my mind...
"Use me, Lord." Maybe it would have been easier, clearer, if I had spend years asking how He wanted to use me rather than just telling Him to do it. But maybe this is how it had to happen in order for my prayers to be answered in the way He desired to use me. And the more I think about it, the more it makes sense. Because really, is anything just by chance when it comes to the ways of the Lord?
Well here's what I've learned today. If you ask Him to use you, you can surely expect that He will.
And believe me, the things He can do with your simple life when you ask Him... well, let me just say, it will blow your mind.
#167 - Because His ways just blow my mind!
"He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted." - Job 5:9
"Every day I will praise you and extol your name for ever and ever. Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom. One generation commends your works to another; they tell of your mighty acts." - Psalm 145:2-4
I went to bed last night feeling so completely blessed. So full because of how good God is. And the feeling carried over into the morning. I drug myself out of bed and slowly got ready. Something about summer mornings really slow me down. Maybe it's the bright, warm sunlight. Maybe it's the fact that I still miss the days of having summers off. I bet that's it. I won't pretend that when May rolls around I don't start second guessing my career choice. But I know me too well, and I know that I couldn't make it in a classroom for the other 9 months out of the year.
So I drove to work with much ease. No traffic, just like I prefer, as everyone was already at work by this time of the morning. I began my morning conversation. I thought about Little T. I mentioned him a few posts ago. I prayed for him and for his family. I wondered if he was hungry today. I wondered if he had been having a good day. And the more I talked about him, the more I started to realize how incredible it was that I know this little guy who lives all the way across the world and that God was watching both of as I was speaking. Time zones away, but He was aware of our every moves. And I thought about how limited my mind is sometimes. I thought about the same God who designed and formed me 24 years ago, the same God who picked out my details and created my innermost being, did the same thing for Little T four years ago. And this thought, a simple one really, just blew my mind...
And the day contined to be mind-blowing for me. Mind-blowing because my limited mind was pushed past its human limits. Today, God overwhelmed me in such simple ways. Today, He revealed Himself to me, allowed me to see and understand Him a little better. He gave me insight into His ways, and I spent the later half of the day covered in chills.
Tonight, I went on a walk with my mom and I told her about my mind-blowing day. And truth be told, it's hard to put it in words. But I thought back to this morning and I thought back to many of my morning commute conversations. I recalled a period of time where my morning conversations became mundane. My life was mundane. Routine. Work, come home, eat dinner, watch TV, go to bed, repeat. And my prayer life began to look the same. I made sure to cover the bases. I make sure to talk "at" God, talk "to" God, but rarely did I talk "with" God. But there was one line I left in there that I prayed each day. "Use me, Lord."
Sometimes when we pray, we don't know what we're praying for. Sometimes we give up praying on certain things because it just seems like we've prayed long enough that if something was going to come from it, it would have by now. Sometimes we avoid praying for things. But every day I would utter those words, "Use me, Lord." I didn't really know what I was praying for. I just wanted to be used. I didn't know how, and somedays I just said it out of habit.
God answers prayers. And the thing is, rarely does He answer in the form our little limited human minds expect. I had been diligent about asking but I wasn't really expecting too much. Because what I meant was, "Use me, Lord, but don't do anything crazy. Don't make me do anything hard. Just work a little magic, make it really easy, don't make me wait long and do something super cool." I had my thoughts and ideas of what "Use me" was going to look like. I figured I would wake up one morning, know exactly what the task was, He was going to have worked it all out and bam, I'd be used. It was going to be a beautiful thing! Smooth and easy! I could wrap my mind around that.
Today, I finally got it. Today, I finally saw how He has been answereing that prayer I've muttered day after day for years. And initially, it wasn't how I thought He would do it. Not what I had expected. I had to go through some hard things, it was far from easy, it required a lot of waiting and it wasn't super cool. Really, when I think about it all, it is crazy! I can't wrap my human mind around it. And the thing is, I am still unsure of what the task is, but He gave me a little more insight today. He pulled back the curtain a little wider for me. And it blows my mind...
"Use me, Lord." Maybe it would have been easier, clearer, if I had spend years asking how He wanted to use me rather than just telling Him to do it. But maybe this is how it had to happen in order for my prayers to be answered in the way He desired to use me. And the more I think about it, the more it makes sense. Because really, is anything just by chance when it comes to the ways of the Lord?
Well here's what I've learned today. If you ask Him to use you, you can surely expect that He will.
And believe me, the things He can do with your simple life when you ask Him... well, let me just say, it will blow your mind.
#167 - Because His ways just blow my mind!
"He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted." - Job 5:9
"Every day I will praise you and extol your name for ever and ever. Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom. One generation commends your works to another; they tell of your mighty acts." - Psalm 145:2-4
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